14 thoughts on “Dennis would feel fine about the end of the world”
Flatcap Army
“IT’S A LIE! We’re just good friends! Abdul, open the window and throw another woman on the fire, this one’s nearly gone out”
Rob
“And the bunker in the countryside near Evesham was so secret that the 90 staff set to have been posted there were not even allowed to tell their wives.”
90 BBC employees. Their wives probably didn’t know, but I expect the Soviets did.
Bloodnok: Well, I think I’ll say I’m not staying on this ship. I’ve been beaten, flogged, keel-hauled, mutinied, tarred, hung from the yard-arm, lashed to the mast, and also an unpleasant incident east of the wind.
Seagoon: But a sailor must expect these things!
Bloodnok: Sailor? I’m a first-class passenger, sir!
jgh
Before I die I’d like to see the old country again.
Which old country?
Any old country!
Henry: That doesn’t mean we must stop trying, Min of mine. Think of the dangers! Supposing you came down one morning for a cream-strainer, and found an elephant in the larder, eh?
Minnie: Well, I’ve never seen an elephant in the larder.
Henry: That is because they’re hiding, Min of mine.
Minnie: Where do elephants hide? Tell me that! Where do elephants hide, buddy?
Henry: Well, I don’t know, Saxophone-Min, but it’s clear to me that they must hide somewhere. How else could they get away with it for so long?
Bloodnok: I’m lost, dear fellow, lost, completely lost. Me and the regiment were marching along, you know, and suddenly, quite by accident, me and the regimental funds took the wrong turning..
Tim Worstall
Bloodnock to new recruits:
“Open your wallets and say “Help yourself”
Assembled recruits open wallets: “Help yourself”
Bloodnock “Don’t mind if I do”.
Simon Williams
Bloodnok: I’m afraid my wife won’t be joining us
Seagoon: Why not?
Bloodnok: I’ve sewn her into the lining of my mattress.
Seagoon: You fool Bloodnok, that’s mattress-cide!!
“IT’S A LIE! We’re just good friends! Abdul, open the window and throw another woman on the fire, this one’s nearly gone out”
“And the bunker in the countryside near Evesham was so secret that the 90 staff set to have been posted there were not even allowed to tell their wives.”
90 BBC employees. Their wives probably didn’t know, but I expect the Soviets did.
Neddy Seagoon: One false move, Bloodnok, and I’ll put a bullet between your eyes.
Major Bloodnok: I didn’t know they made them that small.
Henry Crun: Minny, stop that crazy rhythm type dancing.
Neddy Seagoon: Are you responsible for berths on this ship?
Mr. Lalkaka: Not all of them, sir.
Mr. Banerjee: What he asks is not pointless.
Bloodnok: You know that saying ‘Caesar’s wife is above suspicion’? Well, I put an end to all that rubbish!
Bloodnok: What? It’s all lies! In any case, they never paid me! Is there no honesty? Do you know what happened to me last night?
Moriarty: No.
Bloodnok: Thank heaven for that!.
Seagoon: Gad! What will you think of next?
Bloodnok: Well, I think I’ll say I’m not staying on this ship. I’ve been beaten, flogged, keel-hauled, mutinied, tarred, hung from the yard-arm, lashed to the mast, and also an unpleasant incident east of the wind.
Seagoon: But a sailor must expect these things!
Bloodnok: Sailor? I’m a first-class passenger, sir!
Before I die I’d like to see the old country again.
Which old country?
Any old country!
Henry: You get on baiting those elephant traps.
Minnie: I don’t see the point of them, you know.
Henry: What?
Minnie: We’ve never caught one.
Henry: That doesn’t mean we must stop trying, Min of mine. Think of the dangers! Supposing you came down one morning for a cream-strainer, and found an elephant in the larder, eh?
Minnie: Well, I’ve never seen an elephant in the larder.
Henry: That is because they’re hiding, Min of mine.
Minnie: Where do elephants hide? Tell me that! Where do elephants hide, buddy?
Henry: Well, I don’t know, Saxophone-Min, but it’s clear to me that they must hide somewhere. How else could they get away with it for so long?
Bloodnok: I claim the South Pole in the name of Gladys Ploog of 13 The Sebastibal Villas, Sutton.
Seagoon: Who is she, sir?
Bloodnok: I don’t know, but obviously we’re doing her a big favour..
Bloodnok: I’m lost, dear fellow, lost, completely lost. Me and the regiment were marching along, you know, and suddenly, quite by accident, me and the regimental funds took the wrong turning..
Bloodnock to new recruits:
“Open your wallets and say “Help yourself”
Assembled recruits open wallets: “Help yourself”
Bloodnock “Don’t mind if I do”.
Bloodnok: I’m afraid my wife won’t be joining us
Seagoon: Why not?
Bloodnok: I’ve sewn her into the lining of my mattress.
Seagoon: You fool Bloodnok, that’s mattress-cide!!