I tried using this joke but the editor cut it

Teresa May, a glamour model, with the same name as the next prime minister of the United Kingdom but spelt differently,

Glamour Model Teresa May Forced To Deny She Will Be Prime Minister And Tory Leader

Etc etc. I ended a piece which commented unfavourably on Theresa’s ideas on corporate governance with:

“In essence Theresa May’s economic pronunciamentos are offering is the unappealing opportunity of “Forward to the 1970s!”. Our second female Prime Minister aims to undo the settlement of our first, Margaret Thatcher.

Is absolutely everyone certain that it wasn’t Teresa May they wanted to see in 10 Downing Street?”

Sadly, the last line was cut. Still worth asking the question though, which would the country prefer to be fucked by?

47 thoughts on “I tried using this joke but the editor cut it”

  1. Apart from the usual grossness of expression, trhis is what needs saying. Theresa May is threatening to roll back all the failed Thatcherite, bone-idle, bollocks of the market knows best ( what, houses are totally unaffordable?) and reintroduce some proper Conservative economic government,. like Macmillan.,

  2. The housing ‘market’ is precisely what is wrong with not letting the market do its job.

    Institutional intervention keeps prices artificially high (among other things setting up crashes which destroy the accumulated ‘wealth’ so many middleclass people like me worry about 🙂 )

    Also nobody claims the market ‘knows’ best. The market makes real information available to individuals, corporates and government on what is needed and where things are going for them to take better decisions.

    Rent controls, a favourite of American lefties is a lovely example of conterproductive market fiddling, and still they want it despite all the evidence.

    Just one of many examples available.

    I didn’t want to say Venezuela, but it just sort of slipped out.

  3. DBC read- the 60s conservatives accepted the consensus, because it was popular. Margaret rejected the consensus because it was popular. Tony accepted Margarets legacy because it was popular. Gordon didn’t know what popular was. Cameron knew more about popular than Gordon and Nick, and didn’t touch Margaret’s legacy. Theresa appears to think Ed Miliband was popular.

  4. Being a worker myself I like the idea of labour participation in the boardroom… provided that we share in profits but the evil bosses have to take all the losses on their own shoulders.

  5. Zorro–The Cabbage-Eating Cow is a result of the scummy antics of BluLabour. The Brainless Bitch is one of your Remain gang.

    You are just making yourself foolish.

  6. yes yes we invaded Iraq to remove a dreadful tyrant and instill liberal democracy, don’t blame us for anything that happened aftewards

  7. We voted to get from under a nascent tyranny and a growing economic disaster area.

    Having the Tories foist this cow on us is nothing to do with that. If anything she is the handiwork of remainer dross–to which category you belong.

    I fear it is too late to say you are making yourself foolish.

    You have reached that estate and then some.

  8. The excision of the last line is dispiriting; I am forced into intense cynicism in attempting to understand the atmosphere of gay enthusiasm surrounding Theresa May from the Establishment.

    I presume she’ll be calling Mr Richard Murphy in as an adviser for her radical corporate justice policy agenda. And Theophrastus will assure us all that is wonderfully wise One Nation Conservatism, which only ludicrous extremists will disagree with.

  9. All actions have consequences.

    The phrase you are looking for is unforeseen consequences.

    Unintended consequences are predictable for those who look with brains. The unintended consequences of socialism are all to obvious.
    The rise of May was an unforeseen consequence. It might have been foreseen as one of a number of possibilities but was by no means certain.

    The consequences of remaining in the scumzone were not unforeseen. They might have been unintended by the Ruling Class of the EU and all the trapped countries within (a big IF in my opinion-I think they know well the evil they do) but they are all too obvious. It would have been far worse to stay than go.

    Nor have we gone until that bitch and her gang are corralled.

    You have lost your marbles Zorro.

  10. It’s a shame all the loudest Leavers have decided to bugger off. I mean, how does that work?

    “What do we want? Leave! When do we want it? I don’t give a shit, it’s somebody else’s problem now!”

    Heroes, the lot of them. Still, when you’ve got Ecks and his admirers batting for you, everything’s bound to go well.

    Face it. Nobody has any idea what happens next. It’s just like the 2nd Gulf War. Shoot first, deny the clusterfuck later.

    I’m waiting for that repatriation of our ability to pass laws. Obviously, for the last few decades we’ve been completely unable to do that, haven’t we?

  11. it’s just awfully hard luck for you that those unintended unforeseen consequences turn out not to be to your liking.

  12. Grasping much Luis? You really must learn to distinguish between anything and everything, and consequences and stuff that happens. Thus, it might be possible to blame “us” for some of the fallout from Labour’s aggression to Iraq, but not everything – say, a flood on the Shatt al Arabi.

    Likewise, suboptimal choices post-referendum don’t in any way invalidate the vote; the objection to May seems largely because it is a reduced consequence – unless you consider the removal of a Y chromosome from No 10 to be all-important?

  13. What happens next is simple. Leaving the EU is simple. What has happened is that everyone who understands this, and wants to leave the EU, has been frozen out by whatever the fuck happened in Westminster, the truth of which will presumably have to wait for memoirs at the earliest.

    The Tory Party is, at its core, committedly Europhile. What has happened is not thus surprising, but it is disappointing.

    At one school I was at, we were told by the Latin master that we should start every day by saying “Latin is easy”. Unfortunately the parliamentary coup now has Brexit in the hands of useless twats who say every morning, “Brexit is hard, it can’t be done, there are terrible problems, oh what a huge problem to deal with”.

    It’s pretty obvious which mindset is the more useful one.

  14. Where to start?

    OUT is a long-term project. I am glad to be getting out (well actually I am still in, as I live in Spain but you know what I mean) of the EU political project. I do not want it. I fail to see the advantages. There is no EU policy for things like immigration and foreign policy (thankfully) and where there is (economic policy), most of the time they can’t apply it (thankfully): see; fine for Spain for not meeting its deficit targets.

    They have never managed to get their books signed off. They are an expensive, champagne crony corporate socialist (amazing, but true) quango. And in the UK loved by anarchists. You couldn’t make it up.

    The euro is an unmitigated disaster and I agree with Martin S. The only answer is more Europe. Without it the project will fail. But please don’t count me in.

    Will there be short, medium and long-term economic consequences for OUT? Of course! Some will even be positive :-). Long-term I can see positive heavily outweighing negative.

    Just look at the young people unemployment in the south of Europe. And they have no idea what to do. Oh yes, a big plan with real money to make us employ them. Pathetic.

    Nige & Boris
    They had no part to play in the negotiation, MEPs and MPs are not government. Boris may come back on board. Nigel will be vigilant.

    Ms. May
    Do I like Theresa May? Not in the slightest. I do not expect her to do what is required and along the way will do a fair amount of damage. But we will decide we don’t like her and get rid of her if necessary.

    Nobody knows what will happen and in what order. Nothing that has happened (except the Tory succession ‘plan’) has shocked me. There are many more unforeseeables to come.

    The vote was OUT. Now it is time to begin to decide how and other actors will have a lot to say. Juncker and Martin S. are going to find that they won’t be able to piss on us as much as they would like. Their own businessmen won’t let them.

    But I still prefer the indecision, the shocks to come and the possibility of a short-term drop in living standards.

    I love Europe, I love travelling, I am not ‘insular’ but I do not want my country (I, for one, still believe in the nation-state) or anybody else’s to be controlled and subsumed by the EU.

    Any bets on the next country to vote OUT. They will come and it is a real bugger for the Commission. Treat us hard and those with doubts might decide they don’t want that and they don’t want to be part of something unfair. Treat us soft and they may decide they do want that. The commission are on a lose-lose. Nobody is thinking about the weakness of their negotiating position. It is much weaker than most people seem to think.

    And just wait until we have set up deals with China, the States and India. That’ll put the cat among the pigeons.

    Yes I know I won’t get my heaven, but being free of the dead hand of Brussels is enough.

    In the worst of cases, it is like taking a paycut because I ask for a reduction in working hours; I am still better off.

  15. Nobody else is going to vote out when the only country to do so hasn’t made any move to actually leave and is run by people who don’t want to. Remember, the aim of the May Team is “out in name but not in nature”. They want a renegotiated deal in which we are still in the Single Market, we still pay fees, the borders remain open, remain in the EAW and we don’t even get our fishing waters back.

    “Vote Out and get betrayed by your own national leaders”. It’s not much of a rallying cry.

  16. Oh and just in case anyone thinks I am pessimistic, I am not.

    I truly believe that in the long-term we will be better off economically, politically and socially.

  17. Oh well, if somethings on Twitter I suppose that wraps it up.

    Hard to credit that so many Leavers, who probably thought of themselves as progressive, even radical, turn out to be such pearl-clutching reactionaries, seeing every event post-Brexit like an ancient pagan blaming everything on that comet which passed by last month.

    Radical change shakes things up. That’s what makes it radical, see?

  18. Zorro–Your twatter mates are as dumb as you. You’ve been in hysterics since the 23rd. Get a valium sandwich and calm down.

    Plus –if you love them so much–go join them. Islamtown needs new subway kiosk operators.

    Larri–what do you care about Brexit Gurn-Sea boy? It won’t affect you unless the Purge does happen and all lefttrash like you have their UK citizenships revoked. And life is very rarely that kind.

    We’ll be free of the EU scumbags –have no fear.

    The Italians have a shitload of financial trouble and Deutscher Bank is wobbly.

    To paraphrase the “Batman Begins” line: “This continent is so broke who is there to go for a bailout to”.

  19. @BilbaoBoy
    Pretty much my position. It always amused all those dickheads wondering around with you stole my future placards. If you really want to see stolen futures go to Southern Europe and look at their youth unemployment rate. That’s the EU, and it’s here and now.

    The disadvantage of them not having an immigration policy was that Merkel simply made an insane one up on the spot.

  20. But belief is all it is. People voted out because it seemed like a black or white argument. The reality is that no one has a clue what it means. Ian B thinks it’s easy. If it was easy then surely the ‘promises, promises’ would have been backed up by a plan, a timeline.

  21. You could say the same about the abolition of slavery. Whose going to all the work???–cue attack of the vapours.

    Who cares–it will get done. You destroy evil and then worry about the details. Far worse things have occurred and been compensated for.

    Of course state-suckers have to have a plan. The Remain gang had one –business–ie keep shafting them- as usual.

    The Cabbage-Eating Cow is their attempt to get back to it.

  22. The whole point is this nonsense about having some great complex plan. The people who haven’t got a clue what to do (like May) are people who had not given it a moment’s consideration before the vote, because they never expected it to happen.

    You repeal the ECA, you invoke Article 50, and then you avoid getting bogged down in negotiations, because you don’t want a relationship beyond that any other country has with the EU. You do not raise tariffs.

    The terrible long drawn out problems narrative comes because people are (a) institutionalised (b) think that a big thing ought to be jolly difficult and (c) don’t want to leave at all but retain an entangled relationship. You don’t need a “plan” of the type people keep saying doesn’t exist, you just get on with the process of leaving the EU.

    Unfortunately everyone who could have done so has been defenestrated/knifed/frozen out, so that five years from now as the nonsense rolls on, the Remainers can do a faux “told you so”.

    Likewise, the status of EU citizens in the UK should be rapidly decided, they should have a special status (due to the circumstances). The status of UK citizens in the EU is up to the EU member states.

    None of this is rocket science.

  23. ” but it used to have a comment generator that was basically Mr Ecks.”

    Whereas Larri, your material is specially written for you by the Mekon himself.

    Altho’ you might yet get your own comic strip in the new (Angela) “Eagle” comics–“Dan Dumb and The Leader Who Failed”

  24. But have the people who have given it a moment’s consideration actually thought it through. If it was as easy and straightforward as you seem to think it is then why hasn’t it been done? According to you the whole process could have been finished by lunchtime the next day.

    While they’re about it, how about making Britain great again whilst rebuilding the Empire.

    “Unfortunately everyone who could have done so has been defenestrated/knifed/frozen out”

    And the Queen is a lizard.

    Why did no one with a shred of political skill, from the Leaver camp, not stand against May? Getting the WI to bake a Eurosceptic cake was never going to cut it. Are you seriously suggesting that they all got ball-broken and were too scared to back up the referendum victory with a leader to match?

    Does anyone know how the 1922 committee leans on this?

  25. It hasn’t been done because the people who have the power to do it don’t want to do it.

    You know when you tell a child to do something and they instead come out with a list of reasons it can’t be done? Like that.

    As to the Tory shenanigans, as I said, we won’t know for years. On the morning of the 24th I, like I think most people, presumed it was going to be (like it or not) Boris Johnson taking over from Cameron. Then all that strange shit happened. We can speculate, but cannot know what really went on, why Gove did what he did, etc.

  26. How the fuck do we know what scummy antics go on behind closed doors at BluLabour?

    Brexit was wanted by lots of people but there was little unity . Some of us are more libertarian and some –like North and his crew–are arch statists who think nothing can happen without some govt bullshit treaty. We are united only by hatred of the EU.

    It was enough. And as the EU continues to collapse the pool of remainers will evaporate steadily.

  27. How could the Leave campaign have come up with a plan? The only thing they agreed on was that the UK needed to get its sovereignty back. What the campaign leaders believed should be done with that sovereignty varies enormously (as is also the case for Leave voters) – what policies do you think you could get Gisela Stuart, Nigel Farage and BoJo all to agree on? (Any more than you could have got a detailed ‘Remain’ prospectus written jointly by Cameron and Corbyn.)

  28. Ian Reid

    Yup. Generation snowflake. Thanking the EU for the NHS!

    How the hell did anybody get by before the EU? Bilateral treaties anyone?

    My university managed to fix me up as an assistant teacher in Bilbao through the then Francoist Ministry of Education back in 75 without the help of the EU.

    The euro has trashed the future of a generation in Spain and yet people don’t want to see it. They talk about a banking crisis (evil bankers, sub-prime) when our crisis was the mutually-owned, politically-run regional savings banks who gorged on cheap euros and made an awful lot of clearly bad loans to friends and rip-off real estate promoters.

    Still, the whiners can keep whining. The doers will get on with it.

    Cameron was right today, you can do an awful lot in politics. You just have to want to.

  29. “People voted out because it seemed like a black or white argument. The reality is that no one has a clue what it means. Ian B thinks it’s easy. If it was easy then surely the ‘promises, promises’ would have been backed up by a plan, a timeline.”

    The EU vote wasn’t a general election. It didn’t give team out the power to leave the EU. What it did do was trigger a stitch up in the Conservative leadership election, aimed at makig sure nobody that wanted to leave the EU got anywhere near the levers of power. This is not the fault of those politicians who campaigned to leave the EU. Blaming May on leave voters is 1984 style doublethink territory.

  30. “…aimed at makig sure nobody that wanted to leave the EU got anywhere near the levers of power.”

    David Davies chief Brexit negotiator. Boris Foreign Secretary.

    Perhaps this is May keeping her enemies close, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.

    And Osborne? “Now fuck off.”

  31. “Boris”

    With the added bonus that humourless lefties are already wetting themselves – poor dears..:)

  32. Bloke in North Dorset

    Comment over at Guido’s about Osborne about whether or not he was pushed or not made me smile: He wanted to remain but had to leave.

    Davies is a reasonable choice, he’s level headed and a solid leaver.

    Not sure about Boris as FS, that’s definitely a risky keep your enemies close move, but no doubt will be popular with the rank and file.

  33. The Daily Wail is talking 6 years to get out–two for negotiations and four for the 27 other twat governments to “ratify” it. Supposedly from TCHammond.

    Bollocks to that. Do they think we are going to stump up their bailouts and take Merkel’s Turkish buddies in in the meantime?

  34. The old mantra was that a gentleman should sacrifice his career for his country: Bozo has sacrificed his country for his career and told massive lies in the bargain , turning the trick by appealing to all the nasty fascists who voted Brexit so they could kick out all foreigners. Sir Oz proposed to replace all the abused West Indian (and Irish) migrant Labour who did all the post-war reconstruction in this country with pure blood Europeans when he rebadged his Blackshirts as the Union Movement and kicked off race riots in Notting Hill in 58 .But when his dream of Europe came to pass, the shitheads didn’t want the Europeans here either.More fascist than Sir Oswald Mosley! All helped by public school riff raff Bozo and the gissusajob backstabbers.

  35. Upset DBC?

    Good.

    If you want something to be outraged about try the 150 million people murdered by socialist scum just like you.

    And the hundreds of millions more who didn’t die but did have their lives and potential utterly ruined –again by shite like you.

    And those who are still having their lives ruined by socialism in all its poisonous forms.

  36. As ever Laz a brilliant refutation of facts with cogent logic.

    Shame your bullshit can’t resurrect all those your buddies have put down.

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