Present your forehead barcode for reading now

British people should be given a “unique person number” to help the government keep track of the population following the vote for Brexit, according to a new report by a leading thinktank.

The paper from Policy Exchange said people feel Britain is being used as an “economic transit camp” and these fears could be allayed by creating a “population register”.

In other news the members of Policy Exchange, at the staff meeting, agreed that the international situation was intolerable therefore let’s invade Poland.

22 thoughts on “Present your forehead barcode for reading now”

  1. Sounds much like the system here. You barely even exist without your personal number, and anyone who has your personal number can learn rather a lot about you. Rather creepy

  2. The problem with the NI system is that there are so many illegal uses of the numbers, fakes and so on.

    Really, assigning an NI at birth (like most countries do) instead of age 16 and making sure the system was purged and functionned would do exactly this.

  3. “The controversial idea is likely to be met with opposition from civil liberties campaigners…”

    Unless the government offers them a bauble, I presume?

  4. I sneeze in threes

    I bet we won’t deport anyone, or refuse them medical care or social support should we identify them with such a scheme.

  5. “The problem with the NI system is that there are so many illegal uses of the numbers, fakes and so on.”
    It is not just illegal immigrants. I worked with someone at McDonalds in the 1980s who was a runaway and working with an illegal NI number (she was under 16).
    She just vanished one day.

  6. Right, that will work. People who think their country is turning into an economic transit camp will be satisfied by being assigned a numeric identity.

    Remember everyone, these are the people who think they are the experts and we are fucktards.

  7. Just No. Iit is just more “lets try to mix up any shite (we middle-class CM London Bubble fucks) can think up together with Brexit and hope people are stupid enough to link one with the other” bollocks. In itself a very stupid idea since we already had all that and saw right thro it.

    So they can Fuck Off. Zero co-operation and active sabotage if they even attempt it.

    As for their own records let them knock themselves out . For all I care they can swop the file names around with the file next door.

    It would hardly even be noticed amidst their present level of bungling.

  8. You can assign all the numbers in the world, but without the will to send illegal immigrants home it’s all pointless (and just ends up being used for other nefarious purposes).

  9. @abacab

    “The problem with the NI system is that there are so many illegal uses of the numbers, fakes and so on. Really, assigning an NI at birth (like most countries do) instead of age 16 and making sure the system was purged and functionned would do exactly this.”

    The UK assigns NI numbers shortly after birth, to all children whose parents claim Child Benefit. The number is only sent to the child when they turn 16.

    Strictly speaking it is a Child Reference Number which is converted to a NINo and then transferred to the NI system at age 16.

    The only illegal use of a NINo is when you don’t use your own.

    It doesn’t matter if you use a fake number. All that happens (like illegal immigrants using fake SSNs in the US) is that you pay the tax but you won’t get the pension. Even if the system is extended to other uses (which I don’t support), users of fake numbers won’t benefit.

    NINos are not evidence of a right to live or a right to work in the UK. They only indicate that the person probably had the right to work in the UK at the time they applied for it.

  10. Today: “We need a unique ID number.”
    Tomorrow: “Let’s issue handy plastic cards containing the ID number.”
    Next week: “Please insert your unique ID card before posting comments online.”

  11. I think the goal is more clear than that with a small amount of rewording.

    ‘British people should be given a “unique person number” to help the government keep track of the population who voted for Brexit’

    I have often suspected that BNP voters were tracked under the provisions of ‘The Secret Ballot’ – and I imagine it is the same for Brexit. Obviously the Brexit vote is a grievous threat to the huge array of beings in the Non-productive public sector, at supranational, European and British level. With the gravy train of limited hours, subsidised everything and pensions unobtainable to the ordinary person under threat, it is little surprise that Brexit, which threatens all this, is being fiercely resisted by powerful vested interests – Those who voted for it beware – they know who you are and indeed where you live….

  12. I was just going to say: haven’t we already got a unique ID number. I’ve got at least four. NI, NHS, Driving License, HMRC UIDN.

  13. As immigrants arrive they should be given a unique ID# which is tattooed on their forearms, or for simplicity be given a badge which they have to wear in a prominent position at all times. For high visibility this badge could be a bright yellow and in the shape of a star.

  14. Yeah, I remember this…

    The benefits people said immigrants couldn’t collect benefits because they had no NI numbers, so we were safe there..

    The employment people gave out NI numbers like candy to immigrants so they could work (honest).

    Same ‘civil’ service and they didn’t know this was going on.

  15. @Bloke in Sweden, August 8, 2016 at 7:56 am
    “Sounds much like the system here. You barely even exist without your personal number, and anyone who has your personal number can learn rather a lot about you. Rather creepy”

    The persnum was rather a shock for me when I was in Sweden. Opening a bank account without one was challenging.

    Luckily, Swedes are subs and speaking to them in English usually turns “nej” into “ja”.

    @Andrew M, August 8, 2016 at 11:14 am
    “Today: “We need a unique ID number.”
    Tomorrow: “Let’s issue handy plastic cards containing the ID number.”
    Next week: “Please insert your unique ID card before posting comments online.””

    +1

    Policy Exchange – stick your ideas where the sun doesn’t shine.

  16. jgh “I was just going to say: haven’t we already got a unique ID number. I’ve got at least four. NI, NHS, Driving License, HMRC UIDN.”

    Yes, and they a quietly, sureptitiously, joining them up. I have just moved house. To change my driving licence address I either need to quote my passport nr so they can use the same photo or faff around sending them a new photo: well its less trouble to give them the passport nr and do the who thing on line, besides that way there is only one bad barely recognisable photo of me on their db. To change the car V5 they would like to know my Driving Licence nr, but: ‘not required by law’ it says on the form so they can do without. And DVLA use goverment gateway logon which is also used for HMRC tax and NI.

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