Front Page News!

A mummer is leaving his wife, another mummer.

Film at 11.

11 thoughts on “Front Page News!”

  1. If the rumours are true, in similar coincidences to the last one:

    “Hey Angelina, I’m going to make a movie about two spies who are romantically involved and one has to kill the other”
    “Really Brad, like the one where we had an affair that broke up your relationship with your wife?”
    “Yes, spooky, huh”
    “Well, go and have fun”

  2. Woman married to (allegedly) world’s sexiest man has “Eat, Pray, Love” moment and wonders if he’s really the best she can do.

    Meanwhile Jennifer Aniston can’t stop laughing at the irony.

    This shit just writes itself…

  3. Jolie is aging and not very stable–vials of blood around her neck in days gone by, saying goodbye to her tits for ??? reasons.

    It was always on the cards.

  4. Or if you want to be completist:

    A mummer, who previously left her husband who was a mummer, and subsequently left her husband who was a mummer, is leaving her husband, who is a mummer who previously left his wife who was a mummer.

    Film at eleventy eleven?

  5. Five years off the life of each child.

    I hope that Ms Jolie has very good reasons. Worth killing people, what is it?, thirty years earlier than otherwise.

  6. I struggled to express my indifference to this news to my workmates. I mean, I care so little about it that I’ve basically tipped over the line into anti-caring. They could build a whole new generation of ultra-powerful particle accelerators to probe the fabric of the universe at ever-higher resolution and they still would not be able to detect the number of fucks I give. For it is precisely zero.

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