What larks!

Britain will fight for a share of the EU’s assets as Government lawyers prepare to battle with Brussels over Brexit.
It is understood the UK will try to recoup part of the organisations 42,000 bottle wine cellar, works of art and a chunk of its £7.5billion property holdings – including Margaret Thatcher’s former Conservative Party HQ 32 Smith Square in London.

And why not? A seriously, seriously, fun argument in fact. Just imagine what larks you could have there. They’re joint assets and we’ve paid for at least some of them. So, how much do we get? One 28th? Or as we’re more like one tenth (or whatever, but not far off that) of GDP then one tenth? Or as we’ve been net inpayers all along, more than that?

As we’re something like one tenth of the membership of Parliament can we claim one tenth of that? To be dynamited on Repeal of the European Communities Act Day?

We should in fact simply spend the whole of the two years of the Article 50 negotiations arguing about nothing but this. Then tell ’em to fuck off as we leave.

29 thoughts on “What larks!”

  1. Well, quite.

    And it’s also a great negotiating point cos it’s easily droppable in favour of a more important concession elsewhere (and would be a complete PITA for the EU to implement if it wasn’t dropped), and gets all the right people flapping in the press.

  2. Sadly, because it’s the EU and out of control, there being no accountability at all in the system, the EU also racked up big future liabilities as well. It’s one of the reasons the A50 separation agreement is more important for EU27 than UK. If it times out because the Commission is its usually arrogant self, UK gets to walk away from all that debt.

  3. So Much For Subtlety

    I think our position ought to be, they can keep everything as long as they keep the Kinnocks, pere, mere and fils, as well.

  4. I’m waiting for the first Remainiac on my FB to say something like “how dare the UK make all these demands”. To which I shall reply to the effect of “I guess a career change to divorce lawyer isn’t on the cards for you then?”

  5. As well all EU pension recipients in the UK must sign their pensions over to a UK charity ( real not fake) or lose their UK citizenship and be expelled.

  6. Why do I get the feeling that if fecks were in charge the entire country would be in prison or exile?

  7. Your grasp of maths is as dodgy as the rest of your psyche Biggie.

    A wise nation would keep on top of potential treasonous scum. There are only a few but proper disincentives must be applied to them.

  8. The Inimitable Steve

    I would vote for Mr Ecks.

    Matthew – Thank fuck. I still say Cameron should’ve pulled the Art 50 trigger before he flounced. What a gutless loser he turned out to be.

    It really shouldn’t be that difficult, but the British state manages to make things like building a railway line or a power plant as complicated and expensive as flying to the Moon.

    Also, fantastic recent news that Jezza remains Leader of the Opposition. He’ll keep the government honest on Brexit.

  9. This sounds like a job for the Court of Auditors. They haven’t been able to sign off the EU accounts for goodness knows how long so they must be dying to get their teeth into something concrete.

  10. @Meissen

    That’s a good point & suggestion. The EU books are bent, so obviously the UK does need to go through them carefully now. Mind you, the most likely result of that is that the debt is even higher once off-book items are included, so perhaps best not?
    It’s hardly likely to be lower, is it?

  11. Hard to believe, but the accountant who walked out (Andreason) said the accounts were recorded on spreadsheets! No pesky journalling and you can go back as far as you want to make it add up…
    If that really is how it is, the EU accounts are less well run than a corner shop.

  12. @CHF

    I’m sure that the Court of Auditors will find the problem intractable but the nice thing is that the fixed assets can’t so easily melt into the personal fortune of bandits and scoundrels.

    The historic “misapplication” of funds need not concern one overly if one can at least determine how much member states have contributed to the budget over time and the value of the estate today.

    The most sensible upshot would be to settle for the buildings located in the UK plus the parliament building in Strasbourg which would be doing everyone a favour. A British enclave in Eastern France would serve to keep the French and Germans from declaring war on each other and could be set to producing Foie Gras.

  13. “What a gutless loser he turned out to be.”

    I thought the manner of his defeat showed how utterly awful he and Osborne were. And while I hadn’t always agreed with his politics I had always thought he was quite decent (I did always think Osborne managed to combine being useless and a cunt).

    On the day there was market turmoil, the PM quit because he could see no personal advantage staying any longer and the chancellor was nowhere to be seen (presumably because again, what could he get now?). Anyone with any honour would have hung around for at least a few days.

  14. @abacab

    I’ve seen something like that already. A few people I know are getting really angry that the UK state is acting in its and the nation’s interest. Apparently this is tantamount to ’empire thinking’, a made up term by those suffering long term cognitive dissonance from losing the referendum.

    It is how all state’s act in all times, it is universal, there is no British exceptionalism here. But they seem to actually hate it, makes me think some of those right-wing nutters banging on that some people hate their country and are traitors might be right in some places.

    I mean you could have voted remain, still think Brexit is a terrible idea and hope, for that sake, we still don’t leave. But you don’t hate and wilfully wish for your own nation to be punished unless you are an aspiring fifth columnist.

  15. @Rob, there does seem to be a tendancy amongst remainiacs to want bad stuff to happen, just to be proved right. The height of decadence is what that is.

  16. We’ve got prior art to guide us here. What happened to shared UK assets when the Irish Free State went alone? What happened to civil service pensions? I would expect local government pensions continued as local government pensions, but what about whole-Irish and UK civil servants?

    I remember the IFS share of the UK deficit was cancelled in return for burying the boundary commission report.

  17. “as we’ve been net inpayers all along, more than that”: that’s right.

    As for the Irish Free State: as I remember an account I read, they were lumbered with a disproportionately small fraction of the national debt and then once they were independent they whined they couldn’t afford the interest payments to the UK Treasury, and were let off even that.

  18. God help us if these are our best negotiators. And, if they don’t get what they want, they do what? Refuse to leave?

    “the paper claims the UK wants to divvy up assets by claiming 5,000 bottles of wine, 250 bottles of spirits, and around £2million of its art collection.”

    Seriously petty stuff in the scale of things. Like a divorcing husband instructing his lawyer to write a letter about ownership of the CD collection; you know he’s more immature and bitter than looking forward to a rosy future with the mistress.

    I guess you have to read the contract and see how much you’re entitled to. Rule of law ‘n all that.

  19. Negotiators must also speak loudly in English and then, after opposites have conferred during the morning in French (say) and communicated through a translator, suddenly switch to fluent French at dinner.

  20. @CHF,

    Always fun that one – was at a meeting in French, the other lot started discussing amongst themselves in Swiss German, and the look on their faces when the Englishman here interjected and joined them 😀

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