The average teenager pisses 5 bathtubs full a year

Yes, I know, you didn’t want to know that*. But it’s just as important as this:

Teenagers drink a ‘bath full’ of sugary drinks a year, research finds

Fuck off, tossers.

23 thoughts on “The average teenager pisses 5 bathtubs full a year”

  1. The posh students at St. Hilda’s drink 12 bidets of Bollinger in order to micro-agress the alumni of Slaughterhouse Lane Comp, Offaltown.

  2. I hope no one ever starts measuring red wine consumption in bathtubs per year. Especially not mine!

    234 cans per year. That’s roughly 2 cans per 3 days? Put booze in that (please) and I call it starvation rations 🙂

  3. Before I met my wife I was on 2l of Diet Coke per day. Granted, there’s no sugar in that, but these kids are only doing just over a tenth of that.

  4. “Before I met my wife I was on 2l of Diet Coke per day.” Thereby hangs a tale. Why not tell us it? Was wifie an anti-aspartame activist?

  5. 234 cans a year. That’s just over one per school day. I’m going to assume that a fair number of these kids purchase their soft drink at school. So what is the government actually doing about it?

    From 2004: Fizzy drinks, crisps and chocolate will be banned from school vending machines as part of a £2million programme to tackle rising levels of obesity among children.
    From 2013: Councils should look at banning school drinks machines, says Health Secretary.
    From 2014: Ban sugary foods in schools and hospitals, doctors say.

    Maybe if they actually followed up their previous proposals, something would change. So what’s actually going on here? Do ministers & civil servants look into the problem, decide it’s too complicated, and give up? Do they decide that it has no merit? If so, perhaps they’d like to share that information with the rest of the country.

    Myself I have no problem with banning soft drinks in schools. Adults have the right to do what they want, but kids aren’t adults.

  6. @dearieme
    “Before I met my wife I was on 2l of Diet Coke per day.” Thereby hangs a tale. Why not tell us it? Was wifie an anti-aspartame activist?

    No, she was ok with it (and had a milder Red Bull habit) but thought it probably wasn’t great for us. We decided to both try and give up for a year, and it worked fine. A little bit of pain for the first few weeks (I got some nasty withdrawal headaches) but then the body gets used to it.

    After that year we both started again, but in moderation. I just started a new job 3 weeks ago and my usage is creeping up again, but it’s still under a litre per day.

    (I should probably point out that neither of us drink tea or coffee, so this is our only caffeine source).

  7. Less than a can a day.

    I drink 700ml of Coke Zero every morning to help me get over the couple of liters of beer I drank the previous evening…. on my first liter now in fact

  8. Bloke in Costa Rica

    I don’t drink alcohol anymore, and now my liquid consumption is something around 2.5–3l per day, of which about a litre is coffee and the rest soft drinks. I used to drink quite a few energy drinks, mainly Monster Lo-carb, until I worked out I was spending $2500 a year on them, which was idiotic.

  9. The MSM really is full of useless tossers who can’t even read a bloody press release properly. Cancer research didn’t say that teenagers drink 234 cans of fizzy drink a year, they said they drank THE EQUIVALENT of 234 cans. In other words the total annual sugar intake of teenagers including that contained in Jamie Olivers recipes and Prince Charles delicious Duchy Original biscuits adds up to that amount. So putting a tax on cans, even if it reduced consumption would not necessarily make much difference.

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