My review of Ed Balls on Strictly Dancing

Is rather akin to my review of Ed Balls’ political career. Quite obviously always going to end in disaster, teetering on the edge of it more of the time than is considered proper. But all in all a game attempt by someone with no natural talent for the activity at all.

19 thoughts on “My review of Ed Balls on Strictly Dancing”

  1. As a comment on his political career, that sounds like a ringing endorsement.

    What would politics be like if we only allowed ‘non-politicians’ to take part? Folks getting together to create evidence-based policy? Not doing the power-grabbing regulation stuff because tea and family beckon and that’s more important?

    Can but dream…

  2. He seems to have Won The People’s Hearts, goodness knows why. Not to be cynical, but was Ann Widdecombe given the same degree of affection?

  3. Balls’ generation of technocratic politicians are already yesterday’s men. Doomed to wander the backstreets of public life for the next decade, trying to manufacture a role for themselves. They are lost because they were never any good in the first place. None has a profound mind. There is no historic great among them.

  4. His appearance on that show was proof that dignity is dead and buried, no more, an ex virtue, etc., etc.

    I was reminded of the Vicar of Stiffkey, who, after his fall from grace, ended up displayed in a barrel on the seafront at Blackpool. His demise came when he was eaten by a lion; this might stand as a metaphor for the alt-right* 🙂

    * ‘Alt-right’ is a term applied by the establishment, which has been thoroughly infiltrated by Marxists, to anyone who does not share its murderous ideology.

  5. ‘Alt-right’ is a term applied by the establishment, which has been thoroughly infiltrated by Marxists, to anyone who does not share its murderous ideology.

    I think it is now the “racist, extremist alt-right”. Saw that on a BBC News Opinion page.

  6. Ann Widdecombe was rubbish at dancing, Ed Balls could actually keep time to the music and managed to be entertaining.
    Wasn’t Ed Balls the one who devised the “Five Tests” that Gordon Brown used to keep the UK out of the euro? Then his place in political history is assured – as the architect of our prosperity and enabler of our escape from the EU.
    (BTW, I think that was the only risk assessment carried out by any nation in Europe about the wisdom of joining the euro. Incredible if true.)

  7. He seems to have Won The People’s Hearts, goodness knows why.

    Isn’t Strictly Dancing broadcast by the BBC?

  8. I think there’s a damn good chance that Ed Balls will be Labour leader shortly. His performances will no doubt translate into a large number of votes, probably enough to get him back into Parliament. And, to be fair, I’m always saying that we should vote on character, arguably more than policy. And there are few character traits the British value more highly than taking the piss out of yourself.

    Saw a brilliant term the other day for the opposite of the Alt-Right: the Ctrl-Left. I mean, come on.

  9. > you think wife will let him?

    Ha! I’ve been saying for a while that she’s why he’s on Strictly in the first place.

    “Oh, what are you doing there?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Looks interesting.”
    “It’s just work stuff.”
    “Need a hand with any of the… er…?”
    “No, I’m fine, thanks, darling.”
    “You know… er… when I was Shadow Chancellor…”
    “Well, you’re not any more.”
    “There’s no need to be like that. I’m just trying to help. Got all this expertise under the same roof, shame not to use it. What I would have done is —”
    “Look, darling, I do love you, really, but please find something to get you out of the house.”
    “Like what? I don’t know anything except politics.”
    “I don’t care! Dance classes, reality TV… anything!”

  10. Bloke in Costa Rica

    It’s all very well for the Yanks electing actors and reality TV hosts and tent preachers like Obama; they’re a fledgling, upstart nation and still trying to find their feet, bless them. But I can’t help feeling that the PM should have just a soupçon more gravitas than that.

  11. his place in political history is assured – as the architect of our prosperity and enabler of our escape from the EU.

    I’d go along with that if it were not the case that Brown (for whom Balls was just chief bag carrier) only opposed our joining because Tony was desperate to get in, hoping to grease his path to emperor of the EU. If TB had opposed our entry to the euro, Gordo would have told Balls to produce a paper arguing it was vital for us to join.

    (BTW, I think that was the only risk assessment carried out by any nation in Europe about the wisdom of joining the euro. Incredible if true.)

    Incredible, and yet somehow unsurprising.

  12. Gravitas is overrated. The most appropriate response to a politician is derision. I heartily approve of politicians with ready-made built-in taken piss.

    The real problem with Balls’s coming ascendance is the volume of forced parliamentary puns.

    “Mr Speaker, the right honourable gentleman is dancing around the issue!”

    “I would remind the right honourable gentleman, in his negotiations with the EU, that it takes two to tango!”

    “Mr Speaker, with these reckless proposals, the Government are tap-dancing across a minefield!”

    I’m not sure the country could take it.

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