Could we recalibrate shock and appall please?

Mary Berry’s bolognese recipe leaves viewers ‘shocked and appalled’ because of its unusual ingredients

It’s true that adding white wine and double cream would make it yummy and also not bolognaise but shock and appall aren’t quite the right words really, are they?

But then Telegraph and “Mary Berry” and online clicks and tempus mutandis……

26 thoughts on “Could we recalibrate shock and appall please?”

  1. So Much For Subtlety

    I await the deployment of the word “hero” with bated breath.

    It can only be a matter of time.

  2. The Telegraph website is written by, and aimed at, children. I really don’t understand why you bother with it.

  3. White wine is the normal Bologna ingredient for their local ragu. Not the red wine most people use for what they call Bolognaise.

    They also put celery in it. Which I don’t. For very good reasons. And bacon, which I don’t, because I just think it distracts from the taste of decent, properly cooked, mince.

    Double cream is unusual, though. Meh – if it works, who cares? We don’t need the cultural appropriation brigade to extend to a “food origins purity movement”. No thanks.

  4. They also put celery in it. Which I don’t. For very good reasons.

    Because it is the vile spawn of Satan in “food” form.

  5. I am still on a quest for the perfect cream of celery soup, like my mother used to make. Also trying to copy Campbells chicken rice soup, which has a little celery in it.

  6. BiW – yes.

    Bilboaboy – I can just about tolerate it (or tolerate others having it) as canapés / tapas with salt. It’s the concept of adding it to something I am cooking that I find really weird. If you just want to add barely flavoured water, what’s wrong with a dash more wine?

  7. @Geoff Taylor
    Bacon’s a vitamin, isn’t it?

    I always take these “authentic” recipe things with a pinch of salt.
    Jamie Oliver’s paella gets mentioned in the article. I’ve eaten paela. One of the chickens scratched around the house had been killed, plucked & dismembered. The kids had spent the morning scratching round the rock pools for shellfish. The gambas were landed by the boat dragged up on the beach. Cooked by the men over an open fire as they stood around drinking cerveza & discussing football in Valenciano. The women sat in a huddle preparing salad & discussing the men.
    How authentic do you want it?
    These dishes are the bits & starch of poor people knocking together a filling meal, eking out what’s available. Anything else is bollocks on stilts.

  8. You’re all wrong. Celery is, among other things, a stock vegetable. With carrot and onion. They form a base in the cooking mince which allows it to create it’s own stock.

    I’ve long used pinot grigio and milk. And no tomatoes, just obscene quantities of puree.

  9. The Telegraph is becoming an experiment in what happens when you stitch the worst of the Daily Mail to the worst of the Guardian.

  10. Does anyone pay for the so-called premium articles?

    The Bellylaugh has turned into a mix of the Mail and Hello magazine with a very occasional article that might be interest if it were not hidden from the curious

  11. Can’t beat haricot beans simmered in a traditional ‘sauce tomate’.

    Perhaps served on ‘pain grille’?

    Very continental.

  12. Incidentally. Mince!?!?
    Anyone knows mincing meat bruises it & ruins the texture & flavour. For authenticity, it should be precooked & finely chopped with a sharp knife.
    Mince is fit only for poor quality sausages, cats & the Scotch.

  13. BiS – i won’t do anything merely for authenticity… but that way does sound worth a try for a few mince recipes. Certainly shepherds pie on a monday chopped up roast is very nice indeed.

  14. @SE
    We get the Scotch invasions on a regular basis. Their beach-heads don’t survive. Within a couple days they,re lobster red & struck down by a surfeit of lager & greasy English breakfasts. One comes across them, occasionally, before their repatriation flights. Shambling along, peeling rags of their freckled hides & talking to themselves in their limited vocabulary out the corner of their mouths.

  15. @BiS

    ‘Original’ Valencian paella has chicken/rabbit plus snails – no seafood. But as you say, in reality it was ‘anything (vaguely) edible you can find’.

    I’ll second the vote for shepherd’s/cottage pie as an excellent way of using leftover roast meat.

  16. Philip Scott Thomas

    M Lud (m’lud?) is spot on here.

    Ragu bolognese is not spagbol sauce. Onions, carrots and celery are the classic base of many sauces, the ‘mirepoix’.

    Bologna is in the north, so that whole Neapolitan red wine/basil/oregano shit is a non-starter. White wine is the way to go.

    OK, so Mary used double-cream instead of the more-usual milk. Who the hell cares?

    This is all about under-informed food snobs trying to show their solidarity with their imagined indigenes and getting it terribly, unforgivably wrong.

  17. Re celery above: real celery is blanched when growing by excluding light, and is white and yellow, crunchy, with a stronger and sweeter taste than that green rubbish from Spain you can buy in supermarkets. If you want decent celery you need to grow it yourself.

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