Isn’t that great?

A pasty crimper posed as a porn star to swindle £35,000 out of a lonely pensioner, a court heard.

That the world does that division and specialisation of labour thing enough that someone is employed solely to crimp pasties?

23 thoughts on “Isn’t that great?”

  1. Bloke in Cornwall

    Not a euphemism, the pasty factorys have that as a good title… Can’t remember if they only crimp or of they actually add the filing too… A friend worked on one many years back as a weekend job…

  2. I am sure her fantasies of being a porn star are what get her through days, months and years of pasty crimping.

  3. Like the man who was employed at Knole for the sole purpose of going round the house winding up the clocks.

  4. Bloke in Wiltshire

    Just asking for trouble going on a group like that. 27 year olds don’t want your cock, granddad. They want your money.

    Either find a similar aged woman, or just pay by the hour.

  5. East vs West

    Here in Thailand it would be a porn star posing as a humble pasty crimper dreaming of her own pasty shop. And all she needs is 35,000 quid…

  6. BiW is correct. How does anyone reach the age of 69 and still be that dumb?

    As for the perp–a Cornish villager? The wannabe “porn” star needs a chance to make her ambitions real. She should be deported back to Bollywood to get her big break.

  7. I’m stunned there was actually a crime here. I’d always presumed extracting benefits for illusory prospects of sex was women’s SOP.

  8. > How does anyone reach the age of 69 and still be that dumb?

    People get more trusting as they enter old age, surprisingly. No idea why.

  9. He should get his money back at least (silly old fool), she said she paid her mortgage with the money and her husband admitted to criminal activity, the house is therefore the proceeds of crime and should be seized.

  10. “Should’ve gone to Specsavers.”

    Hey there’s a porn niche for all shapes and sizes these days, rule 34 and all that.

  11. Western men have little defense against gold diggers because the welfare state has largely eliminated them so there’s no opportunity to build up a resistance. That’s my explanation for old git & bar girl romances, anyway.

  12. Fiddly stuff pastry, worked in a lie factory many years ago and all the packing was done by hand, especially the mini sausage rolls,

  13. in the USA a “pasty crimper” is someone that that presses crenilation into the mucilaged sticker that attaches a tassel to a stripper’s areola

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