Given the wide nature of his expertise the Infinite Monkey should be able to manage something.
Co-operative Bank will cut its historic ties with the Co-operative Group and impose heavy losses on retail bondholders as part of a £700m rescue deal with its US hedge fund owners to avert a collapse.
Perhaps the insistence that it was just fine for people with no knowledge of banking to run a bank could be rethought?
This latest plan, which will be voted on by all the lender’s investors, will see £250m of new equity injected into the bank and at least £443m raised from a debt-for-equity swap, helping to shore up its capital position.
It will deal a blow to retail investors, who will receive cash from the deal. Those holding less than £100,000 in bonds will only get back 45p in the pound of their initial investment, with the total payout capped at £13.5m.
However, institutional investors will suffer even heavier losses and will receive roughly 15p in the pound in shares, although they will increase their equity stakes in the bank.
Possibly there could be a reconsideration of bond investments in nice local and cuddly projects as a manner of financing pensions?
What opportunities to explain the new economics there are here!
For example, if banks simply create money then how did this one run out of it?