Well, yes

A Malaysian politician has prompted fury by suggesting that women withholding sex from their husbands or nagging them is a form of “emotional and psychological abuse”.

Seems a reasonable claim:

“Men are generally physically stronger than women so they are subjected to emotional and psychological abuse, which is even worse. This includes having a wife who denies conjugal rights to her husband or one who constantly nags,” he said.

Hands up everyone who thinks wives should constantly nag?

46 thoughts on “Well, yes”

  1. I think marriage should come with a cooling off period, just like insurance policies. Say two or three years. If one partner decides to call it day because it is not working then there could be a fast track divorce with limited settlement.

  2. My wife is guilty of neither of these things (he said smugly). One of the few things on which I (seem to) disagree with the majority of commentators here is the awfulness of women. I have plenty of male friends but if we go to parties, I’ll always be with the birds. Funnier, darker, less ego. I have never understood the thing about nagging, either. Either she’s right, in which case do what she is correctly saying you should do, or she’s wrong, in which case tell her why and ignore all future argumentation on that point.

  3. The main advantage of polygamy is the birds can bend each others ears and leave you free to watch the game on tv, read a book or tinker with the motor. The extra jolies are just a side effect.

  4. I have plenty of male friends but if we go to parties, I’ll always be with the birds. Funnier, darker, less ego.

    Strange, because my wife hangs out with the men for the same reasons.

  5. Well done to Paul Podburr (which sounds like a made up name to me) for getting this through when commenting on the brown-nosing on Murphy’s site

    “Paul Podburr says:

    July 27 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Grief. It’s like a seedy literary circle-jerk on here.”

  6. I’ve been single for a while and was asked recently if I miss having a girlfriend to which I replied “only when I have an erection”.

  7. I thought we’d recently passed a law in this country which specifically was to deal with psychological abuse within relationships, and behaviour such as withholding sex and constant pressure to behave in certain manners was now grounds for criminal sanctions? And thus no-one could take any offence at this comment?

    Silly me, I forgot, that only applies when MEN do it, not women!!!

  8. @Jim

    I believe that to extend the definition of ‘domestic violence’ to ensure as many women as possible can be said to suffer from it, it includes such things as ‘stern looks’.

    Hands up if you’re a bloke and have been given a ‘stern look’ by your partner.

    Yep, we’re all victims.

  9. Of course, Jim. Women can’t be abusive or sexist, just like dark-skinned people can’t be racist.

  10. Yes, mysteriously the scope of what is considered ‘abuse’ by men of women is far, far wider than ‘nagging’ yet there was no outcry. We need n inquest.

  11. I like women, I don’t think they are awful, and I’ve been happily married for 37 years. But many women do nag relentlessly. Particularly about details in the home. Even when I’ve agreed to fix x and told her when it’ll be done, my wife will return to the subject repeatedly and obsessively – “…and don’t forget to fix x, darling” appears in conversation almost daily. Unsurprisingly, my daughter does the same with her husband.

  12. @Interested

    “I have never understood the thing about nagging, either. Either she’s right, in which case do what she is correctly saying you should do…”

    That’s what is known as the thin end of the wedge, sir.

    “… or she’s wrong, in which case tell her why and ignore all future argumentation on that point”

    Best of luck with that!

    And no, I don’t have a problem with women- just experience. One of the points picked up here (and at Tim N’s blog) is how feminism has encouraged women to stand up and express their opinions and feelings, and not just to sit silent whilst the chaps do all the legwork. I support that, both as a husband and dad to a small girl.

    The only thing I would say is that I’m not sure that all women realise that feminism has given women the opportunity to stand up and contribute, but it has not delivered a right to have that contribution taken seriously. Nor is it an obligation to contribute irrespective of knowledge, applicability etc.

    But when you decline to follow their edicts, the cry of “Chauvinist!” or “Patriarchy!” (surely the modern equivalent?) rings out.

    And a tedious discussion follows.

  13. Certainly women should not be constantly nagging. But in the UK, they shouldn’t be nagging constantly, either.

    Pedantry award?

  14. @Interested
    Yip, I’m with you here. I marvel at a lot of mates who live in a state of “unhappily married”. Why?
    I haven’t seen my missus since Wednesday morning which is an unusually long time for us….she’s my best mate amongst many other things, although we tend to hang out with the boys at functions rather as she can’t do groups of women only for any length of time….
    Roll on tomorrow morning….

  15. Women are not “awful”.

    But you would be foolish to have too roseate a view of them.

    They are what they are. A ship at sea with two holes below the waterline will eventually sink. Without a great deal of external help.

  16. Interested,

    “Funnier, darker, less ego.”

    I want to meet these women, because that’s the precise opposite of women I seem to meet most of the time. I’ll meet the odd one that is like that, but most are not funny, not into any sort of dark humour and utterly uptight about how they appear to others.

  17. “My wife never nags. She regularly mentions things but she says that isn’t nagging.”

    Exactly! When my wife mentions again that x needs to be done, I remind her that it’s on the list in the study. Apparently, she’s not nagging – she’s just trying to be helpful!

  18. John Square,

    “And no, I don’t have a problem with women- just experience. One of the points picked up here (and at Tim N’s blog) is how feminism has encouraged women to stand up and express their opinions and feelings, and not just to sit silent whilst the chaps do all the legwork. I support that, both as a husband and dad to a small girl.

    The only thing I would say is that I’m not sure that all women realise that feminism has given women the opportunity to stand up and contribute, but it has not delivered a right to have that contribution taken seriously. Nor is it an obligation to contribute irrespective of knowledge, applicability etc.”

    Quite. I’m all for equality, for the right to put on some gloves and step into the ring, but the result of someone beating the shit out of you is that you accept defeat, learn lessons, maybe decide it’s not for you. The problem with feminists is that they just cry and blame someone else. And all their lunatic “sisters” will join in with it.

  19. One of the points picked up here (and at Tim N’s blog) is how feminism has encouraged women to stand up and express their opinions and feelings,•

    That’s like saying we needed a campaign to encourage me to drink beer.

  20. “I have never understood the thing about nagging, either.”

    It’s easy. A timely remark is advice or discussion. An untimely remark, especially if repeated, is nagging.

  21. The Meissen Bison

    Mrs Bison never nags but there are many things she mentions repeatedly which are for my own good.

  22. Many of the women who get mentioned in these virtual pages are nasty leftist harridans entirely deserving of contempt and mockery. I don’t think this means the chaps who comment are disenchanted with the sex.

  23. I once heard a girl saying “so he’s not getting sex for a month”. I said to her that she must not enjoy sex much if she can withhold it for a month.
    She didn’t get me

  24. Many of the women who get mentioned in these virtual pages are nasty leftist harridans entirely deserving of contempt and mockery.

    Unless, of course, you really do enjoy the thought of being locked in a room with Amanda Marcotte or Jessica Valenti yammering at you about whatever…

    There’s a reason Marcotte is single and Valenti’s husband looks like a 29 year old virgin, and it doesn’t have anything to do with your average male having a problem with your average female.

  25. I once heard a girl saying “so he’s not getting sex for a month”. I said to her that she must not enjoy sex much if she can withhold it for a month.
    She didn’t get me

    Maybe she has a bit on the side

  26. @ John Sq

    “I have never understood the thing about nagging, either. Either she’s right, in which case do what she is correctly saying you should do…”
    That’s what is known as the thin end of the wedge, sir.
    “… or she’s wrong, in which case tell her why and ignore all future argumentation on that point”
    Best of luck with that!

    John, it’s not the thin end of the wedge though – I also sometimes point out stuff she needs to get squared away and she does it. It’s just normal married life (IMO). And I don’t need luck – we’ve been married nearly twenty years and I am perfectly able to say ‘I’m not doing that’ and she goes, ‘Okay, fair enough.’ She thinks life’s too short for banging on about trivial tasks just the same as I do!

    I’ve got plenty of experience of women, maybe I just always picked good ones. I definitely picked a great one to marry. Most of my mates are married to intelligent women who love blokes and have a healthy and normal attitude to life. I’m not disputing that there are some fucking harridans out there, but there are also plenty of terrible bell-ends.

  27. ^I literally don’t know a single woman who would describe herself as a feminist, certainly not in any strident way. Maybe that’s where I’m going right. I’d assume they all think women should be treated equally to men, though it isn’t something that crops up in convo very often, but so do I.

  28. Mention feminism to my wife or daughter (City lawyer) and they roll their eyes, saying ‘We’ve got equality, what more do these feminists want?’

  29. “Mention feminism to my wife or daughter (City lawyer) and they roll their eyes, saying ‘We’ve got equality, what more do these feminists want?’”

    I think women have considerably more than equality. They have preference in virtually every area of public policy, if not in theory, then in practice. If they actually were given equality they might find it a bit of a shock.

  30. @Interested

    (My tongue was firmly in cheek for those first two bits- the bit about your wife being your best friend definitely rang a bell)

  31. I read the above & think to myself, thank heavens I found Latinas before it was too late. My one thinks feminism involves 6 inch heels & a slit skirt. And isn’t in the slightest interested in equality. She’s not equal. She’s different. She’s a woman Why would she want to be a man?

  32. BiS that basically describes my missus (though she would not go for six inch heels as she’s already very tall).

  33. Are you married, Mr Worstall?

    It would be interesting to know where you’re coming from, instead of barking with boys how much you keep ‘her’ on a leash.

  34. And when, Jeez, did our kind host intimate that?
    You straining at your choke chain again? No. Probably not. Behind that handle I detect noodle arms, bad skin & grubby Y-fronts. No doubt the nearest you come to a woman is via the search bar on Xhamster.

  35. And why the obsession with pieces of paper or church ceremonies. It’s quite possible to get nagged without either. Come to think of it, quite possible to be nagged about either.

  36. The only thing with the bit of paper is that you are opting in to various legal short-cut protections and benefits. Which is why whenever people demand the legal short-cuts and protections without signing up for them I tell them that the way to get the legal short-cuts and protections is to sign up for them.

  37. “I think marriage should come with a cooling off period”

    Marriage is a cooling off period.

    “What food makes a woman frigid?”

    “Wedding cake.”

  38. I presume the Malaysian politician is Muslim.

    Have you ever noticed that the Left camp includes feminazis AND Muslims? Two absolutely incompatible groups.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *