Limerick Time!

There was a young man from Whitehall
Who said “Please don’t waffle and stall!
You have to believe
Our decision is Leave
So we’ll go, and we’ll pay you fuck all.”

CJ Nerd

Other contributions are welcome….

18 thoughts on “Limerick Time!”

  1. Firstly an accountant from Ely
    Secondly an economist not really
    Thirdly not a professor
    Fourthly, lord even lesser
    Candidly what you say is silly

  2. An idiot from Maidenhead
    Whose brain is most probably dead
    Said “we Tories are fools
    So let’s try being ruled
    By mad Irish protestants instead”

  3. There was a young lady called Theresa
    Who only pooed with assistance from tweezers
    Til she was stabbed in the ‘Arris
    By a big lad called Boris
    Now she finds that her motions are easier.

  4. Candidly candidly candidly,
    candidly candidly candidly.
    candidly candidly,
    candidly candidly,
    And now your time here is done.

  5. I am really truly appalled
    By how Brexit is being stalled
    So now I pray
    That Theresa May
    At the conference will be keelhauled

  6. More in hope than a prediction:

    The news from London was dire.
    With EU regs they’d built a bonfire.
    But it was Brussels was fuming
    At what the flames were consuming
    And the taunts of “Up your’s Squire”

  7. Alas, that would have been from a London my generation inherited. From people like my grandmother, who’s sharp look was once reputed to have brought down a German bomber in flames. The assortment of fairies & tinted third-worlders we’ve allowed to colonise it are hardly the same. There are times when the solution I contemplate would make a gentle soul like Mr Ecks recoil in horror

  8. Dear Shami Chakrabarty
    Doyenne of the party,
    Ate too much curry
    When in a hurry,
    And came over rather farty.

    He’s lacking in wit,
    That old hypocrite
    Must be that Keith Starmer
    Not much of a charmer
    And quite full of shit.

    Diane Abbott is an evil witch,
    A nasty piece, a horrid bitch.
    How did it ever come to pass,
    That her face looks like my arse?
    I think that’s pretty rich!

    Corbyn’s life is full of hassle.
    Once in his mail he found a passle.
    In it was shit,
    And on it was writ:
    “A present from Diane’s fat Ass’le”

    The House is truly full of bores,
    The home of morons, perves and whores.
    They know naught of honest work,
    The buggers simply toss and jerk,
    And fuck about behind doors.

    Out of all the winsome wenches
    Who sit upon the Labour benches,
    It‘s surely a no-brainer
    That I’d have Angela Rayner
    As foremost in my clenches

  9. Our Theresa’s as thick as a log,
    I’d sooner defer to my dog,
    She’ll hand over billions,
    Let in the millions,
    Please leave it to Jacob Rees-Mogg.

  10. Anyone else having formatting and font issues upon using ‘Enter’ key as line break? Or is it me, being dim as usual? Different browser, same problem. Keyboard encryption “off”, same problem.

    A Luxembourg dipso called Jean-Claude
    Got well pissed in his stately abode
    He was heard to opine
    (As he reached for more wine)
    That the Brits won’t be paid what they’re owed.

    A negotiator known best as Michel
    Was told to “just fuck off to hell
    We’ll pay you no money
    (And that will be funny)
    So who’ll be the first that you tell?”

    And since the form of limericks expressly includes the coarse and scurrilous:

    An EU Presidenté of note
    Was caught shagging the arse of a goat
    He was ever so randy
    As he reached for more brandy……
    While David Davis enjoyed a good gloat.

  11. When Junker is out getting pissed,
    Mandleson sits on his fist.
    We want back control,
    But between these arseholes,
    It’ll be an opportunity woefully missed.

  12. An invertebrate wonder named Spud
    Was fond of pulling his pud
    His thoughts of yet more tax
    Brought him to climax
    And he fell off his chair with a thud

  13. There was an accountant named Spud
    Whose writings were shown to be crud
    By Worstall the pendant
    Who was quite unrepentant
    “So, candidly, his name is mud”.

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