Not a success then

“The marketing: ‘The Giant Cheese Board’, “a massive, oversized cheese board. One you can walk around on as if you’re in a giants kitchen” – the best artisan cheeses from across Europe, including a huge baked Camembert, unlimited mulled wine, cheesecake and double-size fireplaces. The reality: plates of chopped up British cheeses, mostly hard, some caterers packs of chutney, no Camembert (baked or not), queues for cold and very sweet ‘low alcohol’ mulled wine, no cheesecake, and a screen projecting the image of a fire. Hmm.”

All for £30 a head.

If the suppliers gave you the cheese as advertising, a potentially very profitable event. If you had to pay or it perhaps not so much.

12 thoughts on “Not a success then”

  1. Nothing wrong with British cheese. I enjoy winding up my continental chums by reminding them the best cheese in the world comes from Blighty.

    Stilton, Shropshire Blue – peerless.

    Mind you that event sounds really crap.

  2. Is this taking the place of those seasonal sob stories, the ‘Winter Wonderland’ that turns out to be a deflated bouncy castle painted white and a donkey with reindeer antlers glued on?

  3. With all this high calorie food and alcohol around you would think Public Health England would have been all over this like a shot. Oh wait – £30 a head for cheese and wine? Middle-class stuff.

    Leave that – someone’s just submitted planning permission for another Chicken Cottage in Camberwell! To the barricades, comrades!

  4. Unprofitable with paid-for cheese? Unlikely. There’s only so much cheese a person can eat.

    Unlimited mulled wine is more of a problem.

  5. @JuliaM
    Actually saw one of those, yesterday. Except the reindeer was a Bambi sprayed with white flock. The life size polar bear’s a masterpiece though. The head rotated at least 5 degrees in either direction & the front paws seemed afflicted with palsy.
    However,.The Ice Bar, “Spain’s only bar made of ice” was, thank God, closed.

  6. I long long ago concluded that “mulled” was a synonym for “adulterated”/”made completely and utterly unusable”, and was really confused when I came across the phrase “mulled over a thought”, though in local government circles “mulled over a proposal” fitted my assumed meaning perfectly.

  7. Maybe I’ve been living in Switzerland too long, but £30 sounds too good to be true for an event like that – and indeed, it turns out to have been so…

  8. Bloke in Costa Rica

    There does seem to be a spate of these shit events in the UK. There is, indeed, in the Daily Mail today another woeful story about a “Winter Wonderland”, the only wonder evinced being in wondering who the fuck is stupid enough to still fall for these things.

  9. What a shame.

    Well off, MC/CM London Bubble dross are shafted by a cheesy scam.

    I can’t stop laughing. The only way to improve on the comedy is to have had the EU sponsor it.

    The only way to top it for next year is to invite the Westmonster 650 somewhere for cheese n’wine, put them under the gun as soon as they arrive and make them eat dogshite labelled as chocolate pudding.

    A very Merry Xmas to all London Bubble vermin everywhere. May your treason take you to Hell in the New Year.

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