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The Perfect Christmas Joke

The correct blend of being absolutely awful and yet also funny. Err, -ish.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No, You’re a poo.

Master Square, (aged 4)

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Drunk Bloke in Germany
Drunk Bloke in Germany
8 years ago

Just waiting for the complaints that it’s remoaner fake news…

Merry Christmas all, especially Ecks and crew!

bilbaoboy
bilbaoboy
8 years ago

Three glasses of good cava, and now switching to a good rioja reserva.

Not drunk just mildly good humoured.

7 kilo turkey done to perfection ( even if I say so myself)

A very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to all!

the other rob
the other rob
8 years ago

It’s too early to start yet, here in Texas, but I have a bottle of Laphroaig and a (hopefully) paasable red named “19 Crimes” for later.

Merry Christmas, one and all.

The Pedant-General
The Pedant-General
8 years ago

Aga still struggling with roast potatoes. H-hour already pushed back from 2pm to 3pm. Now looking more like 5pm. Sandwiches being provisioned for smaller people whilst table football table being assembled. 🙂

Happy Christmas all!

BlokeInTejas
BlokeInTejas
8 years ago

@the other rob

Yep, but we started yester eve with a family Chriftmaf Eve dinner. Curried fish and veggies….

I detest turkey. Today will perhaps be a light lunch followed by dead cow and tubers and a substantial amount of Pommard preceded by some kirs (hint – Vinho Verde makes a good base for these, and cheap, too; and low in alcohol so you can have lots…)

Daedalus
Daedalus
8 years ago

the other rob.
My eldest son recommends 19 Crimes. Says there are vanillary overtones. Not being a wine drinker myself I have no idea if that is good or bad. Enjoy.

John Price
John Price
8 years ago

British public life summed up in a few lines.

Very drunk chef in Germany
Very drunk chef in Germany
8 years ago

1: sturgeon caviar. Louis Roederer.
2: soup, spinach. Potatoes.
3: scallop. Scampi. Avocado.
4:. Poulet de bresse. Colourful roast veg. Leek. Truffle. Nebbiolo.
5: Cohiba maduro 2014. Lagavulin.
6: lemon pannetone. Custard.
7: cheese. Jacob’s cornish wafers.

Excavator man
Excavator man
8 years ago

Tripped over the hose reel while topping up the Jacuzzi, hit the house wall with head and one elbow, and the concrete path with knee and other elbow, spent an hour and a half in A&E, ruined a pair of Specs, and haven’t had a drink yet.
Have been made to watch Home Alone on the TV.
Christmas? Bah, Humbug.
Yours
Ebenezer

Pcar
Pcar
8 years ago

We’re watching Home Alone too…

…and enjoying it.

Sorry to hear you fell, sounds painful.

Merry Christmas

.
@Very drunk chef in Germany
I have no idea what your list means

Pcar
Pcar
8 years ago

@Tim W

Why is your blog on European time?

GMT please

Merry Christmas

John Square
John Square
8 years ago

Heh- seeing Joseph credited here made my day.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night

John Square
John Square
8 years ago

Oh- and this:
https://youtu.be/tH_0J50hcZo

It’s a lovely (and clever) song.

Pcar
Pcar
8 years ago

Excellent, funny & uplifting

Enjoy: Christmas edition: naked in New York

Model is superb, self-confidence in abundance.

Diogenes
Diogenes
8 years ago

Pcar, if the blogger lives in Portugal, why are you surprised about the blog timings?

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
8 years ago

Last ti,e I checked Portugal was on GMT.

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
8 years ago

time

ftumch
ftumch
8 years ago

Love this, have phoned up so many people just to tell this joke.

Bloke in Costa Rica
Bloke in Costa Rica
8 years ago

I have just woken up (half nine at night) after the Xmas dinner-induced coma. It was buffet-style, with ceviche, smoked salmon, sushi, cheese, salami, fillet steak, ribeye and a selection of the most incredible mini puddings including bite-sized lemon meringue pies. Wowzers. I probably don’t need to eat until the 27th. I will, though.

Bloke in Costa Rica
Bloke in Costa Rica
8 years ago

Oh, and last night (this being the Costa Rica way) was turkey, pork, sausage stuffing, veggies and apple pie for pudding. 23rd was enormous half-kilo hunks of steak straight off the barbecue. I have done very well food-wise so far this year.

jgh
jgh
8 years ago

If we’re regailing culinary delights… mine was very lightly roasted salmon with roast spuds, asparagus stalks, and bits of filler veg followed by large dollops of cream hiding some fruit salad, while watching Dr Who.

Chris Miller
Chris Miller
8 years ago

@Pcar Bloody hell! What temperature was it in NY? I’ve been frozen to the bone wearing thermals and a heavy duty anorak.

Pcar
Pcar
8 years ago

@Diogenes, December 25, 2017 at 10:08 pm

As BiND says, Portugal is GMT. They tried EU time, didn’t work for humans of all ages. Switched back to GMT and normality returned.

.
@Chris Miller, December 26, 2017 at 10:34 am

Seems the old wives tale about wearing a hat is true.

Laura
Laura
5 years ago

I have done very well food-wise so far this year. mine was very lightly roasted salmon with roast spuds, asparagus stalks, and bits of filler veg followed by large dollops of cream hiding some fruit salad. It was buffet-style, with ceviche, smoked salmon, sushi, cheese, salami, fillet steak, ribeye, and a selection of the most incredible mini puddings including bite-sized lemon meringue pies.

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