Jessica doesn’t seem to quite get this partnership thing

About one in four heterosexual couples that the census looked at had wives that earned more than their husbands. In those cases, though, husbands over-reported their income while their wives under-reported their own. (The census sorted all this out when it matched couple’s answers to their actual IRS filings.)

Now, we can’t know for sure why the exaggeration happens – perhaps couples want to present themselves as more traditional to the census, maybe husbands feel insecure about making less or wives are anxious that their salary difference will “emasculate” their spouse. Whatever the reason, though, it serves as a good reminder that it’s not just political equality we need to fight for – it’s equality in the culture, and our relationships.

If we don’t have parity in our homes, we won’t have it in our country. And if men and women aren’t even comfortable talking about equality, how can we expect anyone to fight for it?

Well, no, living with someone is a constant experiment in compromise. We could even mine Jessica’s past columns for the things that men really should do for the women in their lives. You know, be honest about bum look big in this, compliment the new haircut, have chocolate available one week in four. If in return fragile male egos need a little massaging about who is bringing the cash into the household well, why not? You know, swings and roundabouts?

11 thoughts on “Jessica doesn’t seem to quite get this partnership thing”

  1. There’s also the bit about women not wanting to admit to their friends that they married to a plonker – so they inflate his wages to cover their own embarrassment.

  2. Every married woman’s secret fear is that she married a loser.

    Every married man’s secret fear is that he married a psycho.

  3. Interesting choice of words:

    The fact that couples fudge earnings to suit traditional gender roles reminds us why the domestic sphere is still a battleground

    And what young man doesn’t want to enter into a domestic Forever War with some shrieking feminist harpy? In other news, it’s still a complete mystery why so many millennials aren’t married.

    New research from the US Census Bureau shows something a bit strange in the era of powerful feminist organizing. Apparently when women earn more than their husbands, both spouses lie about it.

    It’s almost as if women prefer men with more resources, or something. No doubt they’ve been brainwashed by the Patriarchy.

    The truth is that with all the cultural gains made by feminists, there is still a long way to go in the domestic sphere.

    A century of pandering to feminist demands and there’s still “a long way to go”. Of course, there will always be “a long way to go”, because feminism is just unhappy women projecting their misery onto politics, citing Bullshit Studies to deny the intractable biological differences between men and women.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  4. How good is it to have the real Steve back in residence?

    I found this one a gem:

    ‘Falling back into traditional gender roles is easy when you’re busy worrying about other things. So even in the face of political overwhelm, let’s not forget the fight at home – literally.’

    Is she actually advocating domestic violence?

    ‘And that decades after we started fighting for equal pay, the idea that women could outearn their partners is still considered taboo or undesirable.’

    Theoretically speaking if you were truly concerned about equality a nirvana would be of course when both partners earned equally. The fact that is a state of affairs which is likely to last about a day illustrates the basic absurdity of measuring equality by income. As the late Peter Bauer said, ‘Equality has moved from equality of opportunity to equality of result, or indeed one quantifiable aspect of the result’ It’s also telling that she is not fussed by the scenario whre a woman outearns her partner so her commitment to equality is clearly a selective one.

    The truth is that with all the cultural gains made by feminists, there is still a long way to go in the domestic sphere. Women still do the vast amount of childcare, housework, as well as the mental labor that goes into running a home – and that’s regardless of whether they have a full-time job or not.

    And they’ll be doing a lot more once the many adherents of a certain religion have been ‘integrated’ into modern Europe and the US.

    On a side issue, while it’s good that ‘Jihadi George’ and ‘Jihadi Paul’ are being extradited to the US, the collapse of ISIS deprives us of an opportunity to show Valenti what real discrimination is, rather than what passes for it in her near mentally unhinged worldview

  5. “What’s mine is mine, what’s his is ours”.

    I thought I was still asleep this morning when I heard on the radio:
    “he’s lived in his car since his wife had an affair and threw him out of the house”.


  6. I would assume there is a data problem. Especially if the men are self employed or employed with good insurance or pensions.

  7. In my opinion the guardian is the vilest newspaper in the uk – full of shrieking harpies, smug middle class tossers and obnoxious idiots. As for the commentators all below the line – they all seem brainwashed and or braindead – everyone else is a facist, a nazi, a racist etc. They are too stupid to even understand what a nazi was. I find it best to ignore 90% of whats in there – even their film reviews are riddled with this stuff and in the case of japanese films which are a particular favourite of mine it often seems the reviewer (esp p bradshaw) hasn’t even seen the film- let alone understood it.
    2 years later they still can’t understand why people voted for brexit – they don’t understand the society in which they live. Bunch of cnuts.

  8. The other aspect that the column didn’t look at is whether the wives or husbands know exactly how much they are earning.

    I asked my wife the other day how much she was on as I couldn’t be bothered to find her payslip to check; she thought it was around $50,000 a year. When I checked the payslip it ends up at about $75,000. She didn’t do this to massage my ego, or to make herself inferior; it was entirely down to neither knowing, nor caring.

  9. @ James in NZ
    I don’t know how much I am earning and I don’t know how much I have earned until do my tax return. OTOH I do tend to tell my wife that I am getting paid for a job when she complains about my using the computer when she wants to get to sleep and I tend to tell her the gross rather than the net after expenses.
    She and her best friend want me to retire and take up lots of “interesting” pursuits – e.g. lectures at Gresham College, which I do not dispute are a Good Thing – but they are actually less interesting than my work. Nils Taube died at his desk because he found work interesting.

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