Err, well, yes….

A married couple who had been trying to conceive for four years were told they had mistakenly been having anal sex all this time.

And, well, no, not really.

While asking about the wife’s medical history during visit, Doctor Liu was told that the couple had sex regularly. The wife also revealed that the experience was ‘unusually painful’ for her every time, but she suffered through it in the hope of becoming pregnant.

The woman’s symptoms led Doctor Liu to believe that she may have had some sort of gynaecological disease. But following an examination, the wife was revealed to be a virgin. Doctor Liu then inspected the woman’s anus and discovered that she ‘could fit three fingers’ inside.

No, that’s not how an arse works, is it? Wouldn’t keep the food in if it did.

Shaggy dog story just usefully allotted to somewhere far away…..

22 thoughts on “Err, well, yes….”

  1. Why did you think anyone would want to hear any of that anyway Tim?

    Let the Chinese attend to their own arseholes.

  2. lol. Bet the guy knew all along. Probably mouthing “shut the fuck up” at the doctor behind the mrs back.

  3. Dennis the Peasant

    The only surprise here is that this story didn’t appear in The Guardian as an Op-Ed piece demanding that The Rich in Britain should pay for sex education in China.

    Either that or another Op-Ed piece by Jessica Valenti saying that it really isn’t all that painful once you get used to it.

  4. Maritime Barbarian

    I recall about 50 years ago, reading that about 25% of people who have problems conceiving just aren’t doing it right and the women were still technically virgin, as in this case.
    Instruction on what to do – don’t know, depth of insertion, maybe? – solved the problem.
    This was early ’60s, in America, so maybe lack of sex ed was the reason.
    in Catch-22, didn’t Doc Daneeka tell a story about helping people with conception issues? They weren’t doing it right?

  5. Reminds me of the admiral whose daughter is marrying a sailor and who warns her to refuse should he ever request to do it the other way. They have a satisfying sex life for a year, but he never asks her to do it the other way. Eventually, her curiosity overcomes her and she asks him: “darling, tonight, could we do it the other way?” Horrified, he responds: “What, and risk having babies”.

  6. Reminds me of a report I’ve seen floating around the interwebs about an elderly woman who had spent a lifetime indulging in urethral intercourse.

  7. The Sage, there was a storyline in a TV hospital drama about that variation some time ago. Casualty? Must’ve been a long time back unless I was more recently unfortunate to catch a snippet at a friend’s or rellie’s.

  8. Apart from the Greeks, obviously, I thought the main arse banditry was carried out by our RoP friends in the ‘stans and certain other mediaeval sh!tholes in the ME.

  9. What does the last RoPper on the tall building do after all the gays have been chucked? Toss himself off?

  10. Witchie

    If aiming for the pink and missing, that’s a 6 point penalty whatever you hit (or miss) – unless it’s the black you hit in which case 7 points. Ie, always the higher of the respective penalties.

    Yes, I know, it was something else – but I’m being slow!

  11. Wasn’t there something in one of the Kinsey reports about a strictly religious couple who had been following the Bible and “lying together as man and wife” for several years without issue, who turned out to have been literally “lying together”.

  12. “No, that’s not how an arse works, is it? Wouldn’t keep the food in if it did.”

    Surely, the anal sphincter can dilate sufficiently to pass turds of up to three-fingers in diameter, so the story is not implausible. If done regularly, there might be some anal leakage – though not of food, unless you are a coprophage.

  13. If it was phrased as “Doctor Liu then inspected the woman’s anus and discovered that she ‘could *comfortably* fit three fingers’ inside” then nothing would seem amiss.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *