£1 polystyrene pumpkins branded ‘total madness’

“I think it’s totally unnecessary and total madness,” said Emily French, owner of Foxes Farm Produce in Colchester which sells thousands of pumpkins every autumn.

My word, you do?

26 thoughts on “Rilly?”

  1. “… it may prevent children knowing that pumpkins grow in the ground.”


    I can buy an Airfix kit of a Boeing 747. Does that ‘prevent children knowing that airplanes are huge & will take you to Disneyland’?

    If your argument is this weak, why on earth should even modern ‘journalists’ bother with this baloney?

  2. @SE I don’t mind pumpkins (an Irish tradition, originally using turnips), it’s the ‘demanding money with menaces’ (aka Trick or Treat) that’s the disastrous import.

  3. Given that polystyrene is flammable either the “journalist” got it wrong again or the farm yokel is missing a trick. H&S easily being more effective than nonsense about forgetting that plants grow.

  4. not so fast Mr E,

    “cut down on bent paring knives and orange shavings”

    For every 10 bent paring knives there’s one visit to A&E* Save our NHS buy safe plastic pumpkins.


  5. “… it may prevent children knowing that pumpkins grow in the ground.”

    That’s a bit of a fail – they grow on, not in, the ground…

  6. “A fresh pumpkin rots in weeks, your polystyrene pumpkin will still be hanging around next century.”

    Well, I know which ones sounds the better value.

  7. I’ve just used a polystyrene banananana to add bouyancy to the float valve to fix the overfill in my header tank, so not all evil.

  8. And what’s more, once it’s finished entertaining kids, a plastic pumpkin can be used to control the dolphin population for many centuries!


  9. Referencing ‘Trick or Treat’, it’s possible to download signs from the internet to print off and put in the door glass.

    “Trick or Treat? No thanks”

    being one, or my favourite;

    “Trick or Treat? Fuck Off”

    Or, for the adventurous

    “Warning, a dangerous paedophile lives nearby”

  10. Am I the only one here that welcomes a certain class of Trick or Treat-ers? The point is, if you encourage parents (usually a bunch of Mums) to bring their small children out – at a cost to you of a carved pumpkin (and a plastic one will do!) and some sweets, they keep away the shitty teenagers from the nearby council estate, who will otherwise:
    egg your house,
    scratch your car (or slash the tyres),
    demand money with menaces,
    shout abuse,
    shit on your garden/doorstep/driveway

  11. here in ‘murica, a plasic pumpkin was what a toddler-9yr old collected their candy in when trick-or-treating door to door. (using a pillow case was considered greedy)

  12. Given that a farm produced pumpkin weighs several kilos & a polystyrene replica virtually zero, there must be significant energy savings in the handling, right from the farm field to the consumer’s house. Since virtually all of that energy will be coming from fossil fuels, it’s likely the plastic version’s carbon footprint is significantly less than the organic. So for this coming Halloween slogan, obviously “Go green, go plastic. Think of the polar bears”

  13. Bloke in North Dorset

    As its a slow blog day I’ll take the opportunity to (ab)use our hosts’ hospitality and copy a post I’ve just made to a private forum to publicise a noble podcast and book:

    I suspect that most of you will know who this scumbag is when I tell you his name is Phil Shiner

    [picture of scumbag Shiner collecting award from Liberty in front of a sign with their strapline line Protecting Civil Liberties, Promoting Human Rights]

    For those who have forgotten he’s the former Solicitor of the Year who brought murder and torture claims against veterans that were debunked by the £31 million, five-year-long Al-Sweady inquiry. He eventually admitted acting recklessly by publicly claiming UK troops unlawfully killed, tortured and mistreated Iraqis, and was struck off.

    So what’s that got to do with the title?

    I was messing around on the Internet while listening to the end of the Test match and came across a podcast called

    Podcast | Military Stories | Extraordinary experiences | Declassifying stigmas around mental health

    The first episode, which I have just listened to, was a discussion with Brian Wood MC, he was the soldier at the centre of those investigations. Its a fascinating, moving and anger provoking story.

    Brian talks dispassionately about what happened at the Battle of Danny Boy where they had to attack an enemy ambush with bayonets drawn. At first there was only three of them against 15 to 20 Iraqi’s but they found another two soldiers. They captured a some Iraqi’s and had a number of dead an wounded to deal with. They received an order to bring back all the bodies so that a potential leader could be identified, a grim task. He tells of how the played paper, rock, scissors to decide who would have to back in to the armoured vehicle of the hydraulic door jammed.

    He went straight from Iraq to home without decompression and suffered PTSD, and like most soldiers tried to fight it on his own. His son was only a couple of weeks old when he left and he tells us about the difficulties of trying to be a father to a 6 month old. This led to separation and eventually get back together with his wife.

    He left and rejoined the Army and was posted to teach marines. Part way through doing the Commando course he receive lots of missed calls from his wife. Knowing it must be serious he rang home to be told he had received a letter saying that he would be hauled in front of an enquiry to answer allegations of murder, torture and mutilation. He had no warning from the MoD this would be happening or even support throughout the enquiry. He talks about how he was scared as he’d never been front of a court and his fears for his family and son after his name became public, he uses the term paparazzi.

    The only real bitterness he betrays is when he talks about Shiner not attending his disciplinary hearing because of stress. As he says, Shiner, and many other accusers, hadn’t walked 1m in his shoes.

    He has a book out next year

    [picture of book cover]…/dp/0753552590

  14. @BiND

    Brian Wood MC is obviously a top bloke, but this is wrong (I’m sure the error is not his [nor BiND’s]):

    ‘Brian talks dispassionately about what happened at the Battle of Danny Boy where they had to attack an enemy ambush with bayonets drawn. At first there was only three of them against 15 to 20 Iraqi’s but they found another two soldiers.’

    There were a bunch of Argylls in (I think) Snatches who were ambushed and they called in twenty-odd PWRR in several Warriors.
    There was also a Chally not far away which was able to help with taking out some technicals.
    On the other side, there were well over 100 Iraqis in well-prepared positions; the main problem they had, besides being mostly $10 a day casual volunteers, was that they did not believe the British Army would be able to drive their armoured vehicles across the wadis or dug-ditches – probably an error by their Iranian RG advisors. To be fair, the commander of the first Warrior across also didn’t think it was possible… Fair play the driver.
    As soon as the Warriors were across it was game over, albeit that there was some fierce hand to hand fighting still to be done.
    It was a long-ranging contact so I suspect events are being slightly confused in the mind of the person who wrote the little ad for the podcast. (Which I will listen to, thanks for the tip.)

    A chap I know vaguely, CSgt Chris Broome, was awarded the CGC (above MC, below VC) in part for his part in the action. There is a book which tells his side of the story too. I’ll try to remember it and post if I can.

  15. Bloke in Costa Rica

    Those little round red glasses Shiner wears marks him down immediately as an utter cunt who deserves to be tied in a potato sack and beaten.

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