Dear Tim Worstall, Editor, The Continental Telegraph,
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My petition:
Break up HMS Victory and send the timbers to France to help rebuild Notre Dame
Britain has a shameful history in Europe – Brexit, Agincourt, Bucks Fizz – it’s time we made amends to our EU partners. After the tragic fire, France needs high quality oak timbers to repair Notre Dame. We have a source of timber currently sitting doing nothing in Portsmouth – HMS Victory.
France has given us so much. Les Miserables was the first novel to destigmatise mental illness. Jean-Paul Gaultier invented the stripey jumper. And who can forget Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds? Unfortunately, Britain failed to reciprocate. We wrecked the first attempts at European integration, in 1803 and 1939. HMS Victory is part of that barbaric past, whose legacy persists – Portsmouth voted Leave in 2016. President Macron admires old relics – let’s send him Victory with our apologies.
done
Signed. What else should we pay in reparations to la belle france?
Just learned that Notre Dame is owned by the Courageous State that is France, and not by the Catholic Church, free market philanthropy or any shade of voluntarism between those two.
HMS Victory appears to be owned by the HMS Victory Preservation Trust, which is a charity. It might be a sock puppet charity, I don’t know, but without evidence that it is, I will not support a transfer of timbers from the voluntary sector to that which takes and mismanages using coercive power.
Are there any timbers in the Palace of Westminster that we could donate?
It accepts non resident citizens so I’ve added a signature
Done
Bongo, there’s plenty of dead wood in the Palace of Westminster.
As a warship in commission, Victory is owned by the Queen, being Her Majesty’s Ship, can’t get clearer than that.
Do you think they will realise that you are taking the piss?
@Phil – wins the Internet.
Yes. And we’ll find out in about a week which is how long it takes them to approve or not and publish or not.
Notre Dame
Someone (here?) pointed out oak beams are difficult to ignite.
Accelerant now revealed to be honey stored In roof
Another fire caused by eco-loons
Apologies for the pendantry, but Dogtanian was a Spanish and Japanese collaboration.
Honey? You’re not serious?
As I pointed out on another site, it’s likely the roof spaces were impregnated with nitrates. Like any roof, the roof of Notre Dame would have copped a lot of gull shit. Gull shit makes guano. Guano was the source of nitrates used to make gunpowder in the Napoleonic Wars. Gullshit on the roofs dries in the sun, flakes off & gets blown into the roof voids by the wind. Settles in dead areas with pollen, dust & shed bird feathers
Nitrate & sugar gives the filling to improvised pipe bombs. Or incendiary devices.
I signed it but I don’t think it will get past the “It’s nonsense or a joke” rule. Maybe needed to be a little nore subtle. Unless these people are even more stupid than I give them credit for…
Which makes it even funnier.
Can we donate Dawn Butler’s brain?
Dogtanian was quite inspired, I must say.
As a modern alternative for da kidz, you could always suggest Rabbids Invadion, that’s French ( home all day and found Pop Max channel on my satellite)
Apparently the bees survived. I was watching Hunchback of Notre Dame the othet day and according to the film, they keep hot lead in big cauldrons on the roof. Bloody stupid idea, no wonder it keeps on burning down.
@bloke in spain April 20, 2019 at 8:05 pm
Deadly so The Bees Survived
Note: In not On and “In” was how BBC World Service News reported on Sat 20 April 2019 0200 UTC