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Dear Tim Worstall, Editor, The Continental Telegraph,

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Forward the email below to your potential supporters.

5 people need to click the link and confirm their support for us to publish your petition.

Once you’ve gained the required number of supporters, we’ll check your petition to make sure it meets the petition standards. If it does, we’ll publish it. This usually takes a week or less, however we have a very large number to check at the moment so it is likely to take longer. Thank you for your patience.

The Petitions team
UK Government and Parliament

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Click this link to sign the petition:

My petition:

Break up HMS Victory and send the timbers to France to help rebuild Notre Dame

Britain has a shameful history in Europe – Brexit, Agincourt, Bucks Fizz – it’s time we made amends to our EU partners. After the tragic fire, France needs high quality oak timbers to repair Notre Dame. We have a source of timber currently sitting doing nothing in Portsmouth – HMS Victory.

France has given us so much. Les Miserables was the first novel to destigmatise mental illness. Jean-Paul Gaultier invented the stripey jumper. And who can forget Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds? Unfortunately, Britain failed to reciprocate. We wrecked the first attempts at European integration, in 1803 and 1939. HMS Victory is part of that barbaric past, whose legacy persists – Portsmouth voted Leave in 2016. President Macron admires old relics – let’s send him Victory with our apologies.

18 thoughts on “We need signatures to make the petition go live”

  1. Just learned that Notre Dame is owned by the Courageous State that is France, and not by the Catholic Church, free market philanthropy or any shade of voluntarism between those two.
    HMS Victory appears to be owned by the HMS Victory Preservation Trust, which is a charity. It might be a sock puppet charity, I don’t know, but without evidence that it is, I will not support a transfer of timbers from the voluntary sector to that which takes and mismanages using coercive power.
    Are there any timbers in the Palace of Westminster that we could donate?

  2. As a warship in commission, Victory is owned by the Queen, being Her Majesty’s Ship, can’t get clearer than that.

  3. Yes. And we’ll find out in about a week which is how long it takes them to approve or not and publish or not.

  4. Notre Dame

    Someone (here?) pointed out oak beams are difficult to ignite.

    Accelerant now revealed to be honey stored In roof

    Another fire caused by eco-loons

  5. Honey? You’re not serious?
    As I pointed out on another site, it’s likely the roof spaces were impregnated with nitrates. Like any roof, the roof of Notre Dame would have copped a lot of gull shit. Gull shit makes guano. Guano was the source of nitrates used to make gunpowder in the Napoleonic Wars. Gullshit on the roofs dries in the sun, flakes off & gets blown into the roof voids by the wind. Settles in dead areas with pollen, dust & shed bird feathers
    Nitrate & sugar gives the filling to improvised pipe bombs. Or incendiary devices.

  6. I signed it but I don’t think it will get past the “It’s nonsense or a joke” rule. Maybe needed to be a little nore subtle. Unless these people are even more stupid than I give them credit for…

  7. Bloke no Longer in Austria

    Dogtanian was quite inspired, I must say.
    As a modern alternative for da kidz, you could always suggest Rabbids Invadion, that’s French ( home all day and found Pop Max channel on my satellite)

    Apparently the bees survived. I was watching Hunchback of Notre Dame the othet day and according to the film, they keep hot lead in big cauldrons on the roof. Bloody stupid idea, no wonder it keeps on burning down.

  8. @bloke in spain April 20, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Honey? You’re not serious?

    Deadly so The Bees Survived

    The hundreds of thousands of bees that lived in hives inside Notre Dame’s roof are alive and well, according to the beekeeper, or apiculteur, that oversees them.

    Note: In not On and “In” was how BBC World Service News reported on Sat 20 April 2019 0200 UTC

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