The Pointless Procession

Boris is asked about morals

Boris Johnson is going to be the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. You know it, I know it, he knows it, and his remaining opponent(s) know it. At the time of writing this article, the likable and yet lightweight Rory Stewart has been eliminated. By the time you read it, the list of contenders is probably down to two. Those two are almost certainly Boris Johnson and Michael Gove, although at the risk of looking foolish, I’ll concede that it could conceivably be Jeremy Hunt going to the final showdown with Boris instead. In either event, it’s immaterial. Johnson is going to win, and this entire process is one more lamentable waste of time in a political year that’s already been full of them.

There is little doubt that Johnson is far more popular among Conservative voters than Theresa May ever was. Every reliable poll – even accounting for how far wrong ‘reliable polls’ have gone in recent times – says so. In the third round of voting conducted among his fellow MPs, Johnson picked up as many votes as his top three rivals combined. The eliminated Dominic Raab and Esther McVey have thrown their weight behind him. Even if all of the Tory MPs who have voted for a candidate other than Johnson decided to team up and split their votes between two other viable candidates, they still wouldn’t have the numbers to prevent Johnson appearing on the final ballot that goes to Tory party members. We already know what happens when the leadership election reaches that point; Johnson wins in a landslide.

Boris becomes PM

All of this begs the question of what the point of persisting with the leadership election process is. From the outside, it looks like a vanity exercise for his remaining competitors. When Theresa May stood to become leader, her opponents backed down the moment it became plainly obvious that she was going to win. The membership – and the country as a whole – were spared the spectacle of a one-sided series of hustings, and an extended distraction as we waited for the inevitable to be confirmed. David Cameron was spared the indignity of having to parade on as a nominal Prime Minister, stripped of all authority, for months. Unless Gove and/or Hunt (yes, we’re ignoring Javid, just like his fellow MPs largely are) decide to bow out of the process, Theresa May will spend the summer as a paper Prime Minister, performing her duty and being mocked for it while Johnson waits for someone to polish his crown. She hasn’t been afforded much in the way of dignity or respect from her party during the past twelve months. It doesn’t appear that she’s going to get any on the way out, either.

If this were happening at any other time, it would be an irritating distraction. For it to be happening when we’re staring down the barrel of a No Deal Brexit, with the trigger cocked and loaded, is bordering on the unforgivable. The race is over. Some bookies are no longer even accepting bets on Johnson to become Prime Minister, and when the world of gambling calls’ time,’ you know the game is up. If this were a casino game, you’d find Boris’ face on every row and reel, and when they all lined up, your jackpot would be paid out in off-hand offensive remarks and tawdry quirks. If it were poker, he’d be holding pocket aces, if it were slots, he’s just hit a mobile slot bonus round with a 100x multiplier. If it were roulette, he’d have a magnetized ball. Even if you as an individual can walk away with a profit from a Mobile Slots website, the house generally always wins overall. The Tory party is now Johnson’s house, and everybody else is just living in it. Some of them may be about to find out that he isn’t the most sympathetic of landlords.

Current PM pre-Boris

Where all of this leaves us is another matter. Johnson’s popularity with his own party doesn’t necessarily translate into popularity across Parliament as it currently stands. He’s no more likely to be able to get No Deal – which he says he’s willing to proceed with – past Parliament than anybody else is – the House simply won’t allow it. For all the noise he’s made about wanting to renegotiate the Brexit deal that’s currently on the table, the EU has remained steadfast in their insistence that they’re not going to look at it again. We keep talking about being ‘prepared to walk away’ if we’re not happy with what’s on the table. What very few have yet taken into account is that while we’ve been distracted by the small matter of finding a new Prime Minister, the EU has been going ahead with No Deal planning. By this point, they may well be happy to watch us walk away and do it.

There is another option open to Johnson, of course. He could call an instant General Election, and see if he can change Parliamentary arithmetic that way. The fact that he’d comfortably defeat Jeremy Corbyn isn’t in question – Labour’s support has hemorrhaged away as brutally as the Conservative Party’s has. Their lack of a coherent Brexit strategy has seen to that. Johnson is significantly more popular with the public than Corbyn – more so than May – and defeating Labour handily is all-but guaranteed. Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party are another matter. In Leave voting areas, they could push the Tories into second place. Even where they don’t win, they could badly dent the Tory vote. If votes are split between the Tories and the Brexit Party, Labour could yet take advantage of the confusion and slip in by soaking up the Lib Dem and Green vote. That, one suspects, is why Corbyn is suddenly keen to commit to the second referendum that everybody knows he doesn’t really want.

Boris Johnson has waited for years for the opportunity to lead his party. It’s now a virtual certainty that he’s going to get it. He may just not get to be Prime Minister for anything long as like as he probably imagines. And if Labour does sweep past a squabbling pack of Brexit Party and Conservative supporters, it’s still entirely possible that Brexit may never happen at all.

36 thoughts on “The Pointless Procession”

  1. Of course he can get it past the fuckers. Treason charges all around esp Treason May. Use Bliars CCW to undo the Letwin Cooper betrayal. Inform the cunts that in ANY future Brexit “vote” their votes will be entered as their constituents voted on 23/6/16.

    The obvious course is a Farage/Johnson Deal. Farage wants Brexit–not to be PM. Give us the real Brexit and a hearty “Fuck You” to the EU and its jumped up Grandees and Johnson will have support enough.

  2. Well written article Tim, but may I ask whether this phrase was an intentional double entendre, given the article is about shagger Johnson?

    “Theresa May will spend the summer as a paper Prime Minister, performing her duty and being mocked for it while Johnson waits for someone to polish his crown.”

  3. How right you are Mr Ree. My father, who was not given to sneering, would sneer like billy-oh (as he would have said) at anyone being affected enough to say “beg the question” while being ignorant enough not to understand it.

    It only goes to show that old man Worstall should have sent his brat to Ampleforth.

  4. Also how come you are all agitated now Tim? Three years have gone by and you have said almost nothing to date while putting up for comment all manor of trivia. But now a monster article and signs of agitation? BoJo is no genius but he is hardly dumb enough to get the job at last and then call a career ending election. You need Treason May for that level of fuckwittery.

  5. The Tories will have a majority of 3, Ecks, with DUP support. Calling or not calling a GE is unlikely to be in the new PM’s gift.

  6. @ PJF
    For people to laugh at.
    Will Boris be the next PM? We don’t know.
    We do know that some traitrous Remianiacs will vote against him to bring Corbyn to power (although Corbyn is a “leaver”)

  7. I do like that by bringing up Article 24 and making the EU have to make a decisions it’s putting the ball back in their court, for way too long it’s been about how U.K. won’t accept the EU deal and it’s all the UK fault etc.

  8. There is so much fun you could have.

    State that fishing is off the table and hand it to the relevant constituencies to draw up a successor policy.

    Sue Ireland. By refusing to detail their no-deal plans they are making it impossible to ensure a minimal border – and thus breaching their obligations under GFA

    Refuse to talk to the EU until they match the UKs unilateral protection of citizen rights. Should people be bargaining chips?

    Swap money from the current blank cheque to money for specific projects (they do have a list right), requiring a successful audit, and to carry EU and UK flags. Oh, and contingent on other agreements being reached.

    Create a UK no-fly list that people can choose to go on to demonstrate their commitment to fighting climate change. Put everyone arrested at the environmental protests on that list. Every 5 years you can decide if you want to come off the list.

  9. PJF ‘Why an out of date article’

    I assume our host is doing another of his ‘monetise this site’ experiments. I think the point is to work in a sentence with link: “Even if you as an individual can walk away with a profit from a Mobile Slots website, the house generally always wins overall. “

  10. I missed one. If you put yourself on the climate list then your electricity doesn’t run when gas/nuclear/coal are needed to keep things going. When there is enough/surplus of wind/solar you can have power

  11. isp001


    Compulsory smart meters for anyone with solar panels, Green voters, and anyone else who wants to brag about their green credentials. Then whenever there’s too much demand, their power gets cut off first.

  12. @Tim W

    Why the out a date hit piece? Where did you fist publish it?

    As you don’t want BoJo as Tory PM, who do you want?

  13. Pcar–Civil Contingencies aCT–the cunts passed it but never imagined I bet that they could be its first victims.

    PJF–Once Brexit is forced on them most Tory MP shite have zero to gain save the dole queue by acting up. And TBP may or may not be a future electoral threat after we have the Brexit we want.

    Meantime BoJo could force boundary changes through and tackle PV fraud and –if smart –do my “100 years before migrants vote-backdated to 1/1/97” plan that would see Jizz and ZaNu finished for good.

  14. Will Boris win? – probably.
    Will Boris get us out of the EU? – No F’in way. He has no attention to detail, no plan and frankly he is all bluster. Give it 6 months of inactivity, and it will all come crashing down.

  15. BoJo could do it, but I doubt he has the spine.

    On the other hand, we’re surely due a Merry Monarch.

  16. Bloke in North Dorset


    Apparently that’s the role of her s new girlfriend, the one he’s having a smashing time with.

  17. I’m with Tim. There are only a few ways to sort out what happens next and still preserve some degree of National sanity. A referendum (hard Brexit versus remain) and Tories campaign for HB, is one. A general election is the other. I don’t see how boris wins and doesn’t call an election with a hard Brexit as a plank in the platform. Anything else and either the conservatives are doomed as a party (he simply has to call an election) or we’re fucked for 10 years as a country. That second option includes any kind of machination to make us leave without parliament’s consent. This is now an emotional problem, that can’t be addressed economically or rationally in any way that doesn’t let people figure out how they feel about the result.

  18. For it to be happening when we’re staring down the barrel of a No Deal Brexit, with the trigger cocked and loaded…

    Not convinced this is a Tim piece.

  19. @BniC June 24, 2019 at 4:21 pm


    GATT Art 24 – the words remainers and msm avoid and dissemble about. However, without a PM & Gov’t willing to use it, it’s nothing.

    Re Border

    WTO say it’s not a problem

    @Mr Ecks


    Farage from the horse’s mouth – Part 1

  20. MPs plotting to make Boris Johnson ‘PM for just one day’

    “What Boris should do, after he has accepted the invitation from Her Majesty to form a Government, is to humbly request Her Majesty to prorogue Parliament immediately. I would propose that the State Opening is scheduled for the middle of November.” YES

  21. The modern Tory party has no answer to Cobb. After all the imitation by Cameron and May, they have become that which they despise. Boris offers a real chance of redressing the balance, and I think out in the real world people are genuinely excited by the prospect.

  22. I’m coming around to thinking Ref#2 is the way to go, but it must be Hard Brexit vs Hard Remain – and it must be made absolutely clear that Hard Remain is full speed ahead full submersion into supranation superstate. Remainers are claiming that Remain means status quo ante (hurray, a chance to use that actually correctly), but it won’t be, it will be progressus quo subsumo.

  23. napsjam- because the EU is always moving towards ‘ever closer union’. and if we stay in,that includes us.

  24. @PJF, yeah, it doesn’t read like Tim at all – style, length, the substance that you cited.

    He got hacked maybe?

  25. Mr Ecks said:
    “Of course he can get it past the fuckers. …. Use Bliars CCW”

    The Countryside Council for Wales? Not quite sure how they will help. Do we declare the whole of the UK a Welsh nature reserve and put it under emergency lockdown to protect the newts?

    Concealed Carry of Weapons? That would certainly get interesting.

    I’m guessing its something to do with the Civil Contingencies Act, but why the W?

  26. @napsjam June 25, 2019 at 7:36 am

    As CJ Nerd June 25, 2019 at 8:16 am wrote

    Plus Lisbon Treaty 2020: tranche of articles kick in next year eg joining EURO

  27. Delingpole has it: Britain is a Third World country.

    Seriously. The people voted out of the EU 3 years ago. You are still in it. It’s like you are the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The country of Winston Churchill is no more.

    Note to DtP: the U.S. is gone, too. The Democrats have thrown open the borders, and promised anyone who can get in will be treated better than actual citizens.

  28. Treason May, a lame duck Prime Minister is spending her last week in office adding £1 Trillion quid in debt to the funeral pyre of British life……

    The SS Torytanic can’t sink soon enough.

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