People are just so unfair!

But, then again, it isn’t that simple. In addition to being a performer, I’m also a trans person in a culture that seems to only understand gender through appearance. My being seen as the woman I am is almost entirely dependent on my ability to perform femininity as its been established in our culture—namely, to be beautiful. Here is how I feel most of us have been taught to process gender: if a person looks female, she’s a woman; if a person looks male, he’s a man. Those of us who don’t always look perfectly female or perfectly male are subject to being misgendered and misunderstood; we are often the subject of ridicule, judgement, and scrutiny. There is an unfair assumption made about each of our gender identities based on how we look, but gender identity and appearance are two completely separate things. Looking like a boy or looking like a girl doesn’t mean that you are one.

Isn’t that unfair? People associate a certain look with being female because being female presents as a certain look. People are using their vision to identify the world around them. Quick, make them stop!

30 thoughts on “People are just so unfair!”

  1. Bloke in North Dorset

    “if a person looks female, she’s a woman; if a person looks male, he’s a man. Those of us who don’t always look perfectly female or perfectly male are subject to”

    A second, closer, look.

    Heuristics save time and mental bandwidth.

  2. With a lot of jobs it doesn’t matter what you look like. Performer isn’t one of them unfortunately for Tranna, her career advisor should have told her that. There are exceptions of course but some other talent would have to make up for it. But I’d have thought with writing it doesn’t make much difference. If it’s not working out either Tranna i’d try writing about something other than what you look like.

  3. Philip Scott Thomas

    Those of us who don’t always look perfectly female or perfectly male are subject to being misgendered and misunderstood; we are often the subject of ridicule, judgement, and scrutiny.

    This is objectively false. We have a considerable tolerance for both masculine-looking women and feminine-looking men (like every member of every boy-band. Ever.)

    But many trans-women are in that ‘uncanny valley’ we knew from the early days of digital animation – they’re enough ‘off’ to be noticeable and, frankly, a bit of a curiousity.

  4. Hmmm

    (S)he spends a lot of time trying to look like a pretty girl but still looks like a munter.

    As one gay man said “it’s a shame some very pretty boys want to become ugly women”.

  5. ” we are often the subject of ridicule, judgement, and scrutiny.”
    Yep. Societies gentler defence against wierdo geezers-in-frocks. Long may it continue. Or would you prefer as slap in the chops? There’s always that option.

  6. BiS

    I am sure if the trend towards forcing this crap down people’s throats with the threat of legal sanction if people don’t at the very least demur to it as ‘normal’ continues, the backlash could involve people like this lifeform
    Being sent to Iran, where ‘ridicule, judgement and scrutiny’ might take a backseat to potential decapitation…

  7. Sex is what you are biologically – X or Y chromosomes identify.
    Gender is what you feel – mindset identifies.
    For 99.99% of the population these align and there’s no issue.
    The 0.01% have what is medically called ‘gender dysmorphia’. The ‘dys…’ being a medical clue that something is fucked up.
    The rule of thumb the 99.99% (+ / -) apply is ‘is this person mentally not quite right’? It is an evolutionary no-brainer therefore that people whose sex and gender signals conflict immediately raise ‘this one’s not quite right’ messages in the brain. It’s a simple danger signal. Nutters are best avoided – whether they talk to geraniums or think they’re flowerpots.

    The author is deeply confused (about a lot of things). It’s not about being beautiful or not. It’s about being crazy or not.

  8. Bloke In Westerville

    You’ve chosen to play pretend in life. That’s what we here in Westerville call a maladaptive response to the problem at hand. The fact that the rest of the world doesn’t wish to become the land of misfit toys in order to make the consequences of your maladaptive response easier to deal with is not the rest of the world’s problem… It is yours.

  9. ‘I’m also a trans person in a culture that seems to only understand gender through appearance.’

    Men who want to be women get hormone injections to change their appearance, large breasts, reduced facial and body hair, have operations to change genitalia, they wear women’s clothes, wear make-up, have women’s hairdos, adopt women’s mannerisms and names, have hissy fits if you say he instead of she..

    I would say it is ‘trans persons’ that only understand gender through appearance.

    And how other, short of a physical examination or DNA test, are we supposed to know whether it is Arthur or Martha other than appearance?

  10. Jim – Isn’t it ironic, donchathink?

    Baron J – Boy George was a lot prettier than Nosey McNosebeast there

  11. Is it a reporting bias effect or are there many more M->F people making a fuss than the other way round? It would seem also that F->M transitions seem to work better – apart from the boobs, large doses of testosterone re-sculpt the body admirably but oestrogens don’t do the reverse.

  12. Last week saw someone dressed as a woman, long hair, makeup and a red beard a Viking berserker would be proud of, hard not to make a judgement really. Your brain is doing ‘what?’ well before the polite societal part kicks in

  13. Dennis of Many Names

    He does look a bit like Alanis Morissette circa 1995………..only less feminine.

    Is that even possible?

  14. “Here is how I feel most of us have been taught to process pets: if a dog looks doggy, it’s a dog; if a cat looks catty, it’s a cat. Those who don’t always look perfectly doggy or perfectly catty are subject to being misidentified and misunderstood; and are often the subject of ridicule, judgement, and scrutiny.”

    .
    Tranna – strange choice of name for a tranny who doesn’t want to be identified as a tranny

  15. Haven’t seen NiV haunting one of these threads recently, telling us what frightful bigots we all are because of brain scans and di-hydrogenated testosterone or something…

    Did we convince him he/ze was wrong?
    Kinda miss having someone on the other side of the debate. Kept it from becoming an echo chamber.

  16. Van_Patten

    I first read Tranna’s shit about how its not fair we don’t see her true beauty etc. Then I read your comment about forcing crap down peoples’ throats. And now I feel a little bit sick.

  17. Mr Drakon, he’s at samizdata, where everyone is far too polite to tell him he’s a flaming bore with a light touch in intellectual consistency.

  18. @VP

    “Being sent to Iran, where ‘ridicule, judgement and scrutiny’ might take a backseat to potential decapitation…”

    Iran’s surprisingly liberal/illiberal on the whole trans thing actually. All in favour of sex changes, just not for the traditional liberal reasons. Change a gay guy’s sex and all of a sudden you’ve got a straight woman. So the clerics see it – and promote it – as a kind of surgical cure for homosexuality. As opposed, as you say, to the death penalty. So probably the most illiberal reason to be liberal, if that makes sense.

  19. Yep Iran are along world leaders for offering transitioning to its citizens, as mentioned above it allows them to say there are no gays in Iran, gay couples have to decide which one of them is going to transition if they want to stay together
    Bit of a dilemma for the day rights mob I reckon.
    Seems the theme for Pride this year was 50 years and still fighting, what I’m not clear on is what they are fighting for now.
    Was amusing that they banned the library from taking part in Pride because they rented out a room to a feminist who doesn’t believe Trans women are real women, maybe they should be fighting censorship and intolerance?

  20. I, for one, am flabbergasted at the progression

    Bake My cake, bigot

    Wax my balls, bigot

    Soon – suck my dick, bigot.

  21. I think one big thing a lot of trans folks don’t get, ugly is ugly with or with hormones and invasive surgery.

    Throw in the biological urge to reproduce and thus copulate with another adult capable of so doing and trans ends up making an unattractive person even less attractive.

    Trans-women will only ever be a niche choice and it is rape apology to demand otherwise……

  22. @Ironman August 6, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    I have no problem with LGBT, but as Van_Patten says Gov’t ramming it down my throat and ordering me to like them makes me sick and induces spontaneous dislike.

    As said here

  23. There seem to be more M>F than F>M.
    Perhaps it stems from the surgical observation “It’s easier to make a hole than a pole”.

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