War with France it is then

A tiny British island was “invaded” in the name of a French ‘king’ with the group raising the Patagonian flag and painting a toilet block in their national colours.

The intruders approached The Minquiers, a group of rocks nine miles south of Jersey, in an eight metre boat at “low light” just after 5pm on Wednesday in order to carry out their mission undetected.

They used a double extension ladder to hoist up the blue, white and green colours of Patagonia, according to local hut owners Paul Ostroumoff and Julian Mallinson, who arrived as the boat was leaving the shore.

This isn’t the first time either. Time to send in the gunboats.

Paris is on a river, right?

Should be said though that the island in question is not part of the UK, but is part of the Crown as a section of the Duchy of Normandy. Thus it’s the Queen’s rather than British, navy which needs to go do this. But since the British one is the Queen’s we’re OK there too.

Alternatively Ritchie might be so desperate for vermine that’s he’ll undertake the job single handed.

22 thoughts on “War with France it is then”

  1. @C_D..

    As we no longer have the leadership, drive and materiel to put together a remotely credible “task force”… Probably not.

  2. “Time to send in the gunboats. Paris is on a river, right?”

    Sod off. Time to wind up the clockwork on the Tridents a go nuclear. This is serious.

  3. I would say we should get our retaliation in early, but I’ve forgotten the nuclear codes. Anyone write them down?

  4. F**k off TimN. Have you been to Aquitaine? It’s packed with middle-class Brit Remainers shivering in their poorly renovated cottages in clouds of wood smoke. French are welcome to it.

  5. Stop looking East, the real enemy is to the West, but, in a truly awful game of rugby, they came second so all is right in the world.

  6. Have you been to Aquitaine?

    Of course: my former employer’s second HQ was in Pau, where I stayed for 2 weeks with a family learning French.

    It’s packed with middle-class Brit Remainers shivering in their poorly renovated cottages in clouds of wood smoke.

    Heh!

  7. 000000

    That’s the (old before they got out) USAF PAL code. We don’t have those. The launch codes for UK Trident are very different (and its a long time since I was exposed to US Navy launch codes so they’ve probably changed – but see “Crimson Tide” for the ones I was shown back then.)

  8. I’m going to buy some foie gras and throw it straight in the bin to show the Frogs exactly what I think of them!

  9. Tim N: Let’s take back Aquitaine while we’re at it.
    Why so modest? Let’s have Ponthieu, Normandy, Maine, basically the western half of the Hexagone. Macron can move his administration to Bourges like Charles VII and leave the Duke of Burgundy (the EU) to have the rest. In fact, the wretched Withdrawal Agreement should give way to the Treaty of Troyes

    BiS: Have you been to Aquitaine? It’s packed with middle-class Brit Remainers
    Well, bits of it for sure. The North of the Dordogne and into the Charente has loads who decided to move there having visited this earthly paradise in August and found out that it’s less delightful in December. Not speaking the language they exchange DVDs and moan about the French to one another. Away from Les Eyzies and expat central, Ribérac, there aren’t so many and anyhow, let’s called it Guyenne, please.

  10. “we are disappointed that he has … allegedly washed paintbrushes on the rocks, which may disturb the ecology of the area”

    The fiends! Worse than the German atrocities in Belgium!

  11. Has anyone seen the Minquiers? A nasty clump of pointy rocks in the middle of a gulf with numerous navigation problems in addition. Let them keep them, especially since they appear to be an eco reserve anyway

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