Feminism and fertility

Given the general feminist insistence about fertility – the insistence on discussing it for a start, then the control of it by none other and no other than the woman concerned – we’ve something of a right to expect feminists to acknowledge fertility in all areas of life. Yet, as we know, that’s exactly what they don’t do:

At least this (smallish age gap) counts as a novelty. Usually, we nosy types find the larger age gaps intriguing. Some such relationships defy the odds and work. Others look unhealthy, especially if one party is not just younger, but also young, period – too young for them to have much hope of real agency in their relationship. Then there’s that other kind of age gap, with the freaky gendered socioeconomic dimension – where snagging a much younger woman becomes as much a signifier of male success as a mansion or a Porsche. Here, the younger woman is less a human being than a male acquisition or achievement. I always wondered why some men were forever moaning nastily about gold-diggers.

It finally dawned that perhaps it’s because they are intoxicated with this idea of womankind confirming their financial success. “Look, everybody, I’m so successful, I’m being played by gold-diggers!” There lies the essential tragedy of the money-obsessed – it even contaminates their sexual and emotional life.

You know, fertility? That thing that women lose in their 40s?

No, there’s no justice or righteousness here, just experience. We’re descended from people who found fertile women shaggable. Those who didn’t didn’t leave descendants. And thus it’s rather built into us to prefer fertile women as shags.

Which does leave us still with the question. Given all that feminist attention paid to fertility why is it they fail to understand it?

13 thoughts on “Feminism and fertility”

  1. As the wise man said, it is impossible to explain something to somebody who’s livelyhood depends on them not understanding it.

  2. As the great philosopher Tony Montana once said: first you get the money, then you get the power, than you get the pussy.

    A lot of women never get this. They are quite happy to see sex as a way to get other things. They don’t understand that for men, this is the thing.

  3. Hang about. These younger wives – they have agency as well, right? They’re not just bimbos, goggle-eyed at the money and power of their older husbands, but strong, independent, rational beings, like all women, no? If so, then they are in that relationship because they have chosen to be.

    Jordan Peterson has mentioned this in several of his lectures. Women tend to look across and up for a mate. That is, they seek men who are both more successful and, on average, somewhat older then they. This holds cross-culturally. It seems to be a universal thing.

  4. Older men? You mean those that because of their shorter life span AND the age difference are likely to pop their clogs soonest, leaving Mrs afloat in loot?

  5. the slight i have with problem this is yes youth can be a proxy for good looks, but the reason for the slight tilt of the eyebrow in Keanu’s case would be that Alexandra is just not that good looking (by hollywood standards not holyrood ones). Were it Kate Bekinsale, who’s around the same age, eyebrows would remain botoxed in place and eyelids unbatted. But then it seems kate prefers to use her looks to bag younger men.

  6. the slight problem I have with this is yes youth can be a proxy for good looks, but the reason for the slight tilt of the eyebrow in Keanu’s case would be that Alexandra is just not that good looking (by hollywood standards not holyrood ones). Were it Kate Bekinsale, who’s around the same age, eyebrows would remain botoxed in place and eyelids unbatted. But then it seems kate prefers to use her looks to bag younger men.

  7. Oh look, a whining Guardian woman moaning about something. She could have taken any picture of any couple or indeed any set of humans and found a reason to moan within it. And whatever she had found, whose fault would it be? The patriarchy? Or just men in general? I know it’s God’s gift to bloggers but bloody hell I’ve had enough.

  8. BoM4

    “A lot of women never get this. They are quite happy to see sex as a way to get other things. They don’t understand that for men, this is the thing.”

    Surely it’s precisely because many women realise that men focus on sex that those women see sex as a way to get other things?

  9. “I always wondered why some men were forever moaning nastily about gold-diggers.”

    Men who moan nastily about gold-diggers can’t afford them.

  10. this is about the gender politics of success and how society tells successful men that they “deserve” not only a beautiful, but also a much younger woman.

    Yes, society loves ageing lotharios. Remember how much praise Johnny Depp and Donald Trump got for trading their wives in for younger models?

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