Talking of scientific research, I am about to undertake my own. I have been married for three months and I’m already on the brink of a discovery about the workings of the husband mind.
It is my hypothesis that men’s brains change when they marry, which leads to a particularly annoying behavioural trait: leaving socks just next to, instead of in, the washing basket. I genuinely thought this was a weird thing that only my dad did, but my husband does it too. On carrying out preliminary research, other married friends say that their husbands do exactly the same.
I am therefore determined to prove that this is a worldwide phenomenon and readers, I need your help. Do you — or your husband — exhibit the same behaviour? This research could be a huge step forward for society. It could save marriages. My findings will be published in the coming weeks.
2001 and all that
I’ve discovered the best way to be reminded of exactly which generation you belong to: world events. With the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, my mum was talking to me about the change it made to the world. “Everyone felt freer, didn’t they,” she said. “Wait, you weren’t even born then. Oh God, I’m old.”
I’ve found I do the same when I look at kids starting university. “Wait,” I’ll say, “they don’t remember 9/11? But, but, but I can. Oh God, I’m so old.”
I’m sure this has been happening throughout history — “Thou recallest not the day fair Anne Boleyn was slain by a sword? Forsooth, how my years are great” — and will continue in the future. Yet what will the kids of today use as reference points? Brexit? Extinction Rebellion? Barack Obama? No. It’ll be the historic day a giant baby balloon version of Donald Trump flew through the streets of London.
Well, yes, I’m so old I’m on the fifth – maybe sixth – iteration of newly married female columnist raising the socks question. Only another three or four iterations to go I expect.