Coming soon to a pharmacy near you

*Oi! Fattie! Yer pills are ready!”

“Whatchu need dem for? Can’t get preggers as no one’s going t’shag a whale like you.”

“Rennies sir? If you ate less you grossly obese pig then you’d not need antacids.”

Chemists should tell shoppers to lose weight, cut their alcohol intake and quit other unhealthy habits, new NHS guidance says.

The guidance from the National Institute of Health and Care Excellence says pharmacists should have a much stronger role in getting the nation in shape.

Pharmacists are being told to start conversations with shoppers about topics like weight loss when they pick up their prescriptions, or buy over the counter products.

“Johnnies? You’ll need a mirror to put those on matey, no way can you see over that gut.”

23 thoughts on “Coming soon to a pharmacy near you”

  1. A bit O/T. Losing the exemption to the prescription charge is for some a disincentive to look for employment.

  2. Another group that thinks it is uniquely qualified to tell everyone else how to live their lives.

    Recently a young-ish acquaintance corvettes to veganism. And immediately began the lectures on how we all would to of evaded about the planet blah blah blah. “Did you write that post on one of your regular flights to New Zealand?” Was one response.

  3. Bloke in North Dorset

    I foresee a very severe reality check in the not too distant future. Pharmacies are private businesses and there’s competition in the market. There’s going to be more than a few “what the fucks it got to do with you?” Responses as they walk out the door to find the next pharmacy.

  4. “Pharmacists are being told to start conversations with shoppers …”

    “Madam, have you considered…”

    “Shut up, and give me the pills.”

    That’ll do the trick.

  5. There’s an app for that- recently as a result of talking to a hospital consultant who knew his stuff, my medication changed. The rigmarole to get the health centre & Boots the Chemist to get this regularised would try the patience of a saint. Why is this so hard? Now I’m doing it all on line & the prescriptions are delivered by post, with no need to ‘interact’ with health nazis.

  6. Pharmacists are an excellent source of advice on minor ailments and don’t lecture. Obviously we have to put a stop to that.

  7. Since chemists are one of the shops that almost always have a queue, I can see quadrupling the queueing time going down a treat with customers

  8. Sensible pharmacies will just have a generic “healthy living” leaflet to put in the bag with the pills. Job done.

  9. I had a similar conversation with the pharmacist from Boots the Chemist just before Christmas.

    I had asked for some Ketostix, which you dip in your pee and it tells you what your blood sugar concentration is. You don’t need a prescription and they cost £5 for a box of 50 strips.

    When asked, the pharmacist demands to know WHY I need them. Rather than go into the whole explaination of using them to measure the strength of ketosis for a ketogenic diet I simply lied and said “Pre-type 2 diabetes” (the problem that my diet had already fixed in 2018).

    He then started banging on about how people (the inference was plebs) were using Ketostix to manage rapid weight loss in unhealthy ways without the supervision of a doctor…but regardless they were out of stock.


    I buy my Ketostix from Amazon now, it’s a bit cheaper, delivered to my door and I don’t have to deal with self-righteous pricks like him. The Amazon delivery guy did not express an opinion on the use (or otherwise) of my Ketostix.

  10. Rather like the Post Office wanting to know the contents of a parcel these days; I stopped going to the Post Office, the little shop round the corner accepted parcels for a variety of couriers (including Post Office) and didn’t ask impertinent questions.

  11. The Amazon delivery guy did not express an opinion on the use (or otherwise) of my Ketostix.

    Don’t worry, they’ll be forced to soon enough if these clowns had their way.

  12. Well, yes. Just checked the spam trap and there were 150 -ish pieces of spam in there from 9 am this morning till now.

  13. “Chemists should tell shoppers to … cut their alcohol intake”

    Because under all circumstances without exception, however little you drink it must be cut.

  14. Don’t worry, they’ll be forced to soon enough if these clowns had their way.

    At which point it will be delivered to my local Amazon Hub locker (Delightfully named Zairah) and collected from there.

    Nanny can go fuck herself with a cactus.

  15. “new NHS guidance says”

    Does it really need bucket loads more money if that’s what it is spunking it on; why not start by reassigning budgets (sacking all the proddies)?

  16. Tim, you could whitelist regular posters here & let the algorithms winnow the rest.

    Just got caught by the ‘posting too quickly’ message. No I’m not – it’s probably due to the page having moved on since I decided to post, as someone else pointed out. Something arcane for your web guy to get his software chops into.

  17. If I can put my head above the parapet for a moment – I recently retired from the pharmaceutical chemists register, and the ‘profession’ is no longer what it was. Back in the early 80’s fresh on the register I would charge circa £125 a day for locum work. To be fair, it was usually covering for mates who were recovering from a hard Friday night on the beer, or who preferred to be at the local footy match on a Saturday afternoon instead of counting tablets from big bottles into little bottles. Times were good, especially for independent owners. These days, you’ll be lucky to get anything like £125 / day for locum work due to freedom of movement, and the expansion of the numbers of pharmacy schools pouring pharmacists into the market. There are complaints in the letters pages of ‘Chemist & Druggist’ magazine that employee pharmacists are approaching minimum wage whilst being compelled by their management to engage in as many patient interventions as possible to claim the NHS fees, which go to the store rather than the pharmacist. Plus, there is now criminal liability for dispensing errors on top of the constant fear of the clinical impact of giving out an incorrect medicine to patients. Yes of course, there is an element of being nanny’s little helper, but it’s now a requirement for being registered as a pharmacist. There are examples of pharmacists choosing to gain employment as dispensing technicians as the pay is now similar without the legal liability associated with being the duty pharmacist. These days, many pharmacists are leaving the profession to get out of this crap. I saw the light in 1984, and worked in the Pharma industry, and very glad I did too.

  18. Didn’t starbucks try ‘start a conversation’ by having baristas write something on coffee cups, didn’t end well I seem to recall

  19. There’s a line 10 people. It takes 5 minutes to fill each prescription. Now let’s add 5 minutes to that line-waiting time.

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