Dear Squaddie, you’re fired

There is what they were doing to be considered:

Two soldiers serving in the regiment that conducts ceremonial duties for the Queen carried out a string of armed robberies across south London, a court has heard.

Grenadier Guards Kristopher James-Merrill, 20, and Dillon Sharpe, 23, are alleged to have raided seven convenience stores with their friend Marlon Wright, 25, between July 24 and 26 2018.

Their regiment is one of the most senior in the British Army with soldiers recognised by the scarlet tunic and bearskin uniforms they wear while on ceremonial duty at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle.

They’re supposed to be aiding Cabinet Ministers in the bushes of course. But then there’s also the efficacy:

But four of the attempted raids failed and Sharpe left empty handed after workers fought back.

If a couple of squaddies can’t hold up a corner shop then do we actually want them as squaddies?

18 thoughts on “Dear Squaddie, you’re fired”

  1. Off topic but a sign of where we’re going…..

    “Why are you searching for things to be offended about?” and “I don’t want to hear about your holiday to South Africa. It’s nowhere near where I’m from” are now ‘microaggressions’

    Maybe if some of these students suffered a few macroagressions they would develop a sense of perspective.

  2. “If a couple of squaddies can’t hold up a corner shop then do we actually want them as squaddies?”

    They have to make the diversity quota someway.

  3. Andrew C

    \That’s rather funny, esp this claim;

    “Rather than being about controlling people’s speech, the university says it is “opening up a conversation”.”

    Yeap, it’s all about controlling people’s speech.

  4. @Jonathan

    But isn’t crime in certain communities driven by lack of opportunity and institutional racism? Perhaps this is why gentlemen of colour who are employed in full view of the world have to resort to armed crime.

  5. It’s one thing to hold up a shop using threats and intimidation. It’s another, more serious thing to start slapping staff members around if they resist.

    Not great news for the diversity crowd though.

  6. We’re a long way from the days when a couple of AWOL Tommies could set themselves up as god-kings in Afghanistan.

    We’ve got to brass it out, Danny. Danny, brass it out!

  7. @ Mr Yan:

    ” But isn’t crime in certain communities driven by lack of opportunity and institutional racism? ”

    You’re right. The fewer white people in any given area, the greater the effects of racism on our dusky brethren…..

  8. @Steve

    Billy Fish: He wants to know if you are gods.

    Peachy: Not gods — Englishmen. Which is the next best thing.

  9. When raiding these stores, did their mate, Marlon, have to mind the oranges?

    Bet they couldn’t draw a smiley face in gunshots either!

  10. The photo in the Telegraph shows one of the suspects wearing an RAF Cadets outfit, nothing to do with the Guards. Much too young to be sporting three stripes, unless diversity has gone completely mad(der than usual).

  11. Bloke in North Dorset

    I shared a house with an Irish Guardsman in ZImbabwe when we were training their troops.

    If half the stories he told about being on public duty were true I’m surprised they had the time or the inclination to go off robbing corner shops. He reckoned that he could have been out with girls and what we know call MILFs most nights. They used to shove notes down the barrel of his SLR or stuffed in to his pockets giving details of the pub or hotel they would be waiting. He said the biggest problem was trying to remember which were the fittest.

  12. @ PF
    The weird first names and “James-Merill” as a double-barreled surname (the latter does not come from a need to splice two coats-of-arms

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