No comment

A thieving mechanic was crushed to death after a car fell on him while he was stealing its catalytic converter, an inquest heard.

Gary Gray, 38, died after the jack holding up the Vauxhall Astra came loose, causing the full weight of the vehicle to slam down and suffocate him.

An inquest heard that he had broken in after hours and had been attempting to steal a catalytic converter from the car’s exhaust system, which could then be sold on for around £60.

It’s not justice because the death penalty isn’t the appropriate punishment for tea leafing a cat converter. It’s not funny because the bloke’s dead.

But it is something.

31 thoughts on “No comment”

  1. Bloke in North Dorset

    Assistant coroner Ian Singleton ruled that the death had been accidental.

    We need a new category of self-inflicted death which could then be understood by everyone as death by stupidity.

  2. Edward Lud,
    He was trapped under the vehicle in a gap big enough not to kill him outright but too small to inflate his chest. Constrictor snakes work the same way. They don’t actually crush their prey, they just hold it tightly so it can’t breath in. And wait. Very good at waiting, snakes.

    As we used to used to say in the days of cheese cloth shirts and crushed velvet loons, “Don’t fuck with the cosmos, man.”

  3. I expect his dependents to sue the garage for negligence and to win, given the insane decisions we’ve had in criminal cases.

  4. As Geoffers says, it is funny. It’s funny because of the incompetence, the fact that it was self-inflicted and because he is a clear contender for the Darwin Awards.

  5. 38 years old? Plenty of time to have had a brace of children, and be starting on grandchildren, so disqualified from any Darwin award. To qualify you have to remove yourself from the gene pool, ie, have no offspring. Do any of the reports confirm he qualified?

  6. A nasty way to go. A bullet would have been kinder and just as just without the suffering.

    Also a lot of work for £60. He could have made more with an instant’s shoplifting.

  7. As an empirical matter it is funny because it made me laugh.

    “the jack holding up the Vauxhall Astra came loose”: so God’s doing then. Therefore just.

  8. Not funny, not justice? Well, clearly you aren’t German, because they won’t laugh at anything unless someone is hurt. It’s probably Sharia though – just looking for what the Prophet said …

  9. “Geoffers

    It is funny. Black humour is still humour.”

    Not always these days. First the political views of the joke teller must be taken into consideration, then the political views of anyone who the joke is at the expense of. (c) BBC

  10. ‘could then be sold on for around £60’

    Wrong focus. Cost to the owner likely £1,000. Grand larceny (U.S.), a felony.

    In the southeastern U.S., there is a plague of burglars wrecking air conditioning units for the copper, to sell as scrap. They’ll do $10,000 damage to get $50 worth of copper. Their biggest target is rural churches. Should one accidentally electrocute himself, there will be no sympathy. Even Christians will say, “Bastard got what he deserved!”

    Sympathy for Gray is quantitative. If thousands of converters were being stolen, he’d get no sympathy at all.

  11. “Gary Gray”: do you think God picked on him for having an anagrammatic name? But then why wait 38 years?

    Mysterious are the ways of the Lord.

  12. It’s not justice because the death penalty isn’t the appropriate punishment for tea leafing a cat converter. It’s not funny because the bloke’s dead.

    Is it not? They do things differently out there in foreign, I guess. Here, if the owner came upon him in the act he’d likely have gotten shot.

    In any case, yes its funny. Funny that he got killed by his own ineptitude while committing a real crime.

  13. Bloke in Costa Rica

    What’s the likelihood this was the first time he’d done this? Nil. So he’s caused misery to multiple people, and enormous amounts of financial damage. People like this are a plague. Yer actual justice would see him pulled apart by teams of wild horses, but being crushed will have to do. One thing is for sure: he will not do it again, and that makes me crack a wintry smile.

  14. “One thing is for sure: he will not do it again”

    A key value of self defense and gun ownership: not only are you stopping the action against you, you are stopping all future actions by him.

    If is selfish not to shoot the MF.

  15. “Tea Leaf ignores fortune teller” :wink

    “Mechanic(38)” in garage used car boot marzipan jack rather than trolley jack, two-post lift etc?

    “A backpack containing a spanner, cooking oil and a lit torch”

    Cooking oil and Lit “Oxy-Acet” torch in backpack?

    Also, must have been a fattie if Astra on wheels trapped him.

    Hmm, something not right. “Care in community” floor sweeper?

    @Roué le Jour

    Not so. Constrictor snakes compress chest until heart can’t beat

    @Mr Womby

    Tesla, not Pious

  16. “Constrictor snakes compress chest until heart can’t beat”

    That’s wrong; le Jour is correct. At least that is what I was taught.

    I’ll look it up . . . .

    M’kay. I was taught wrong. But there is conflicting information. Some sources say that the constriction interrupts blood flow, causing heart failure from lack of blood. Heart failure either way, but maybe not from compression of the heart keeping it from working.

    Learn somethin’ every day!

  17. @Gamecock

    I was taught/told same. Only discovered the “settled science” was wrong a few years ago; ironically on iirc a BBC/C4 Docu

    iirc it was the dissecting animals series Florida snake ep where also learned their lungs, kidneys are not parallel, but perpendicular

  18. Pcar February 1, 2020 at 12:05 am
    Telegraph paywalled, but reading the reports in local Swindon paper:
    ‘Mechanic’ seems to be journalistic invention, he wasn’t an employee of the garage. Seems he had a drug problem.

  19. @djc

    Thanks, that explains a lot and confirms my suspicions

    Telegraph journos are now kiddie scribblers who won’t admit they don’t know and ask someone who does – even a Kwik-Fit apprentice would call bollocks

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