Today’s noodle armed word salad

What we eat and the way we eat it has always told us a great deal about politics and society. The explosion of trendy food courts and walled-off markets is no exception. They are exemplars of the financialisation and privatisation of urban space, of a middle-class ennui and yearning for authenticity, and a profits-first, pick-and-mix version of diversity. And such small portions!

Yeah, being able to eat indoors. Such a perversion caused by capitalism.

22 thoughts on “Today’s noodle armed word salad”

  1. What does he mean, ‘such small portions’..? I’ve not been to a street food venue yet that didn’t serve up more than I can comfortably eat!

  2. In one breath “such small portions”. In another breath probably complaining about food waste and obesity.

    These cunts in the Guardian are never happy unless we’re all utterly fucking miserable.

  3. It’s a pity the same market pressures that apply to ‘street food’ vendors don’t also apply to Guardian columnists. It’s not a gourmet experience but it does the job.

  4. I quite like Borough Market for eating between pints, although I am sad to report Market Porter now has fewer hand pumps, replaced by evil keg beer, the place is dirty and smelly. The Rake has gone downhill too after it was sold. North of the river The Harp is still top notch though.

  5. A fantastic demonstration of the utter cuntishness of the Guardianista hack. Food courts are enormously popular all over the world; some are great, some rubbish, most a mix. Londoners seem pretty well off in this respect; there seems to be a plethora of options. There is no moral or societal lesson here.

    I am a big fan of the Singapore hawker centres, which were created in order to maintain the variety of street food on offer and to preserve small businesses, while allowing for better regulation and hygiene. You can find truly fantastic (and in some cases Michelin-starred) food for – literally – a couple of quid all over the city.

  6. How did I just know that, even before referencing it, this was written by a Graun “journo”? Besides mostly having weird names, they all seem to have that annoying habit of using supposedly “educated” English, interspersed with down with the kids patois and the occasional profanity.
    I say you fellows, those bad boys are absolutely fucking amazing innit?

  7. People buying what they want from people willing to sell it to them at a price they agree on.


    If £14 for a snack is more than you want to spend, don’t buy it. That’s what normal people do. They don’t write a damn newspaper column on it. Do you spend your days complaining that a Rolls costs more than a Peugeot?

  8. Julia,
    At the risk of pointing out the blindingly obvious, it’s the punchline of a joke involving two Jewish ladies:

    Lady1 “The food they serve is awful!”
    Lady2 “Yes, and such small portions!”

    It seems a bit of a brain fart here as I can’t see the relevance. It’s a Jackie Mason gag so it gets a pass on the Jewish reference.

  9. I find I do better purchasing from someone who is making a profit than someone who doesn’t give a toss whether I buy or not because he doesn’t.

    AND, we all think we could write a better column, given the bully pulpit of the Guardian. But in real life you run out of subjects in a couple of weeks so you are obliged to write any old shite to fill the spaces between the ads.

    My spellcheck doesn’t like ‘shite’. How do they want me to spell it?

  10. Sometimes I feel I’m losing touch with my own language. WTF’s a “food court”? Is this something new or something always been around, middle class wankers have invented a new name for. Although I can’t imagine what.

  11. ‘Food Court’ is a phrase borrowed from those nasty Yankees. they’re usually found inside a shopping ‘mall’.

  12. “It’s about rinsing every last inch of urban space for rent extraction”

    You’d think the Guardian would be in favour of converting car parks to poncy eateries.

  13. privatisation of urban space

    Left fail to understand that a lot of what they refer to as urban space is privately owned and only open to public if owners permit, this applies to council owned land too

    A good example being garden squares in London, Edinburgh etc. Some are open, some closed (Calton), some open sometimes (St James’s Square)


    Small portions bad, but large portions bad as obesity & food waste


    the guardian – where whingeing is a contractual condition of employment

  14. Thank’s for that, Chris. The only time I ever enter one of those places is if I’m dragged there by her who must be obeyed. I just make sure I’ve left my credit card behind. I’ve never found anything in one I wanted to buy. Who’d want to go around dressed as a tosser in clothes with the maker’s name on the outside?

  15. @BiS
    You must (not) visit Bicester Shopping Village next time you’re here – the Chiltern line trains that stop there make automated announcements in Arabic and Mandarin, as well as English. It’s one of the wonders of capitalism that Chinese fly halfway round the world to buy ‘cheap’ branded goods, mostly made in China.

  16. I think 5000km would be a tad out of my way for a shopping trip, Chris. The Miramar will have to suffice. Pretty well much the same stores selling the same toot.

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