The technical knowledge of Professor Murphy

Practically, Aldi and Lidl would have to set up entirely new loyalty card systems from scratch as they have always considered them an unnecessary overhead.

Richard Murphy says:
March 16 2020 at 12:14 pm
Aldi and Lidl could use Nectar, almost overnight

Erm, well:

On 1 February 2018 J Sainsbury plc announced that it had purchased the Nectar business from Aimia for £60 million.

OK.

At the time of launch, Nectar confirmed it would be open to more companies to join, excluding rivals of existing members.

Ah.

And then this:

Audit of the systems would be easy to spot abusers

You want to audit the purchase habits of 65 million people? In real time? Real time being necessary otherwise the wreckers will have got away with the extra can of baked beans, won’t they?

And this is before we even think about having to reprogram all the systems.

19 thoughts on “The technical knowledge of Professor Murphy”

  1. You can almost sense the puffing out of the chest in Ely as Cap’n Mainwaring makes himself available to impose rationing on his neighbourhood, city, county and country (as a Minister in an emergency government). And all this when he is practically at death’s door with Covid 19 himself.

    Cometh the hour, cometh the man!

  2. Never let a mere pandemic spoil the chance of setting up a totalitarian command economy. All of Ritchie’s fantasies could come true!

  3. Bravey, Cap’n Tuppence is more like Warden Hodges than Mainwaring. Hodges was the sterotypical Little Hitler, demanding everybody do as he told them to do and felt he should order people’s lives by devine right; Mainwaring was able to change his stance if he could find a face-saving way of doing so, and has often put his ego aside in favour of the troup, he believes that having worked his way up into the middle clas he has a duty be in charge, not a right.

  4. “You want to audit the purchase habits of 65 million people? In real time? Real time being necessary otherwise the wreckers will have got away with the extra can of baked beans, won’t they?”

    I think you misunderstand his motivation, Tim. Spud’s a beancounter. He’s not interested in how many beans are produced & who they’re distributed to, as long as every bean is counted & every recipient is identified. What gets him tumescent is, long after all this is over & behind us, being able to audit bean movements & penalise shoppers for having one tin over their allocation. Probably a £500 fine, the can to be confiscated & destroyed. You seem to think he has a useful purpose behind it. He’s a f****g accountant, not a productive member of society.

  5. the vast majority of customers are habitual in their buying patterns, as well as the outlet that they use

    Really?

    Within 1 mile I have Aldi, Morrisons, Tesco full size stores; plus small CoOp, CostCutter, Premier and two other small symbol stores

    I use Aldi, Morrisons, Premier & Tesco. My mother uses Aldi, CoOp, Lidl, Morrisons, Sainsburys & Tesco

    the easiest way to impose rationing is through the loyalty card schemes that these stores use. For anyone who does not have such a card at present, they can be supplied. Thereafter, controlling the number of items that anyone may buy will be relatively straightforward: purchasing will be impossible without such a card, and rationing will be imposed by it

    Mr Potato doesn’t understand loyalty cards. They’re a one way data-collection system. Upgrading to a two-way rationing system would be a major project

    You’d think with his love of big-state and the frequent failure of Gov’t IT projects he’d know it’s complex, costly, lengthy and with Gov’t involved prone to failure

  6. So, he’s going to force everyone to have a loyalty card?
    The only one i have is for, erm, Screwfix.
    Does this mean i can’t buy food? Or will i just have to get the weekly shop at Screwfix?

  7. @Chernyy_Drakon. You’ll either have to barter your screws in the supermarket car park or beg for food at the largess of Grocermeister Murphy.

  8. He’s positively wetting himself about the prospect of people like him bossing others around.

    What a small minded, nasty man.

    It was Ronald Reagan who spoke of the pitfalls of “rationing scarcity rather than creating plenty”, someone the Spudmeister would do well to read.

    Left to their own devices, the supermarkets will get over the temporary shock of everyone buying every scrap of bog-roll in sight, and be back doing what they do best.

    Government intervention is far more likely to lead to Venezuela.

    Another apt quote from Reagan:

    “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

  9. “Left to their own devices, the supermarkets will get over the temporary shock of everyone buying every scrap of bog-roll in sight, and be back doing what they do best.”

    In a few weeks, when everyone has a stash in every corner of every bog, the shelves will be full, there will be no more demand and BOGOFFs everywhere.

  10. In our gaff, the wife and daughter go through arse paper at a truly frightening rate. When they are off abroad for the annual entire summer break (likely not this year), I use about a roll a month (admittedly my office takes a good deal of the punishment). Together they barely manage to make a roll last 2 days, although I suppose women have both a back and a front bottom.

  11. Bloke in North Dorset

    I was in Lidl in Blandford this morning. They removed the shelves in one isle and replaced them with pallet loads of bog roll piled high.

    There didn’t seem to be any panic buying, perhaps the message that they’ve got even more to sell is finally getting through.

  12. Loo rolls – firm who produce 30% of UK’s in DM yesterday: There is no shortage and we have millions in a warehouse
    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8115233/Inside-Manchester-toilet-roll-factory-4-7million-rolls-day.html

    @Chernyy_Drakon

    Most Screwfix outlets have a burger van in close proximity, unless council has banned them. One here does, as does B&Q and Wickes

    @BlokeInBrum

    Ronald Reagan “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help”

    +1

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