Amazingly, these people get paid

Why we need a national food parcel scheme

So, the set up. The shops are crowded at a time when there’s an infectious disease around. Booking a delivery slot, well, wait three weeks. Therefore we need a national and government scheme.

Erm, we’ve got a number of schemes that cover nationally. Ocado, Tesco, Morrisons, whatever others. The quick way to do this is to add capacity to the extant systems, no? Rather than asking Whitehall to get involved with computers again.

Given the performance on the NHS Spine we’d end up with bacon to Muslims and Jews, tampons for male to female trannies, bog roll to those without arseholes and other such efficiencies.

13 thoughts on “Amazingly, these people get paid”

  1. The supermarkets have suspended the opening of new online accounts, so no adding capacity there.

    Bet their extra capacity (both online and delivery drivers and vans) comes online before government has even formed the committee that will write the anti-slavery policy that will be required before the committee that thinks about drafting the inclusive, non-discriminatory, non-racist job specs has even decided on whether their biscuits should have dark or light chocolate.

  2. We asked our Tesco delivery driver how things are going. He said they were ‘desperate’ for drivers, and anyone who failed the driving assesment would easily get a job in the store.

    I saw someone on local Facebook posting something along the lines of “I applied at 7pm and started work at 10pm”.

    It is not from the benevolence of Tesco that we expect our food parcels, but their regard to their own interest.

    And they’ve stopped multi-buy deals. The usual suspects are now calling for them to be fined for profiteering.

  3. Like the heroic figures from the past Barnes Wallis and Alan Turing, there is a man waiting for the call from Government to step in and organise the country in its time of desperate need. He can be contacted at

    Leave the address out of this please – Tim

    +44 (0) 777 552 1797


  4. ‘We need a national and government scheme.’

    Of course! Now, “How can I use current events to push a national and government scheme?”

  5. CJ Nerd said:
    “And they’ve stopped multi-buy deals. The usual suspects are now calling for them to be fined for profiteering.”

    I would put my head in my hands at that, but we’re not supposed to touch our face.

    What’s the betting these are the same people who spent the last three years complaining about multi-buy deals because they’re supposedly bad for the environment?

  6. We tried to organise a click and collect slot at Asda to minimise our contact with people. We have plenty of stuff in so it was only a short list of the stuff that we’re running out of. The next available slot was two weeks away so we abandoned the idea.

  7. Don’t forget the devolved govts will put their oar in and insist on their own schemes funded from Whitehall, so there will be 3 schemes at least

  8. There is a logical answer to capacity the hospitality catering foodservice businesses are extensive and the retailers should have access to them . In addition there are dedicated packing and manufacturing capacity that can be switched .I bet Mcdonalds have their own distribution network.

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