The sex/power divide does something else as well: it helps to protect women’s experience of their own sexuality from the fact of endemic exploitation. It says that, even in a world where men use sex as a weapon against women,
When we talk about sex – the full consent kind – we do generally note that it’s men who propose, women who dispose.
That is, it’s the women who hold the power over men where sex is concerned. Odd that feminists – or perhaps this feminist – don’t seem to know that. Possibly even that the ignorance induced confusion is what determines the political views?
The same question applies whenever sex is turned into a transaction: what does “yes” even mean? When a man pays a woman to have sex with him, or a woman is paid to have sex on camera for the purposes of pornography, what does “yes” even mean if saying “no” would stop her from affording rent or eating a meal?
It means the woman has looked at the choices reality is offering and made a decision. In exactly the same manner that a gong diver makes the decision about whether to go to work that day or not. Actually, in the same manner that anyone decides whether to go to work or not. Ms. Ditum is being aided in paying her rent by writing for The Observer. We do though have to assume that Ms. Ditum did so voluntarily.