Johnson said that with the agreement of the three devolved governments, “we are telling – telling – cafes, pubs, bars and restaurants to close tonight, as soon as they reasonably can, and not open tomorrow”. They would be allowed to sell takeaway food and drink, he added.

The same instruction was being given to nightclubs, theatres, cinemas, gyms and leisure centres, Johnson added.

Gyms have just become the new offies, right?

14 thoughts on “Cool!”

  1. I saw a photo of alcohol shelves in a UK supermarket yesterday – empty except for Corona beers. Are people really this thick?

  2. Blojo is as big a fuckwitas any panic buyer.

    Fucking the economy in a panic that media scum might blame him for a few virus deaths is a very, very bad trade.

  3. I don’t understand about gyms. When I was younger and wanted some exercise I’d go for a run. Outdoors, on grass or paths. Gyms were for sociable things such as five-a-side football.

    When I see photos in the press now it looks as if gyms are places where people go to be unsociable together. And I dare say they drive there. What can it all mean?

  4. View from the Solent

    My local is sticking to the letter of the law and selling off its barrelled stock as takeaway at £2 per pint.

  5. Bloke in North Dorset


    Last night one of my friends got pissed and at the end of the night bought what was remaining in the barrel of his favourite beer. It was delivered at lunchtime and he’s just advertised it a bog roll per pint!

  6. Rumored this AM that Trump was going to quarantine the whole nation.

    Gamecock thought, “Well fvck me.” Quarantine me? Federal government deciding who needs to go to work and who doesn’t? And by what freakin’ authority? Who’s going to enforce it? I don’t see deputies asking me, “What are you doing here?”

    Now, news is reporting, “Nah, he ain’t doin’ it.”

    And Fauci “not sure about chloroquine.” An upgrade from “skeptical.”

    Philadelphia not arresting burglars. Cities locking down citizens. You won’t get arrested for breaking into a house, but you will for breaking out.

    Police investigating burglary will tell you the burglar can’t leave your house.

  7. @Hallowed Be March 21, 2020 at 12:20 pm

    From my post yesterday:

    To delay the spread of coronavirus, the government has instructed some businesses and venues including all pubs, bars and restaurants to close from tonight
    “The following businesses and venues have been asked to close

    If needed, the government will enforce these measures by law”

    Do keep up old chap

  8. My ‘gym’ was forcibly closed by the Alberta, Canada government last week.

    My gym was also the most spotlessly clean and sanitized place I go to. The smelly old sweaty shite-hole of my youth has become a boutique weight room full of Sooper Klean girls. You’d do a few seconds of exercise on the chest press machine and you’d have to hose it down with agent orange carbolic acid, or the girls would glare daggers at you.

    The men who would like to fraternize with those girls would cheerfully scrub, scrub, scrub, and who would blame them, some hot, hot chicks there, in tight, tight yoga pants. Making me sweaty to think of the red-head who wants to be a boxer.

    Anyway, the most sanitary place in my life got closed by a poxy government idiot.

  9. What do you reckon to the Alberta Seccession idea Fred? If it broke away to be the anti-Turdeau version of Canada any Canuck with any nouse would come to join you.

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