Looking for love? Wash your hands first, say dating apps
How dating apps are adapting to love in the time of coronavirus

Suppose it depends on what sort of date you’re hoping to have, which body parts you expect to be using….

18 thoughts on “Hands?”

  1. Ah, the old joke: What are the three stages of courtship? Hand in hand; hand on gland; gland in gland.
    (Gets coat)

  2. I’ve seen questions online asking if coronavirus is sexually transmitted, which seems rather irrelevant unless you are banging with a gas mask on.

  3. I also wonder if we’ll see a decline of other diseases. Standing further apart and washing thoroughly must surely affect transmission of all viruses.

  4. Oh I think Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters, will be quite enough romantic intrigue for most of your contributors Tim.
    Interesting isn’t it how disease is history’s silent partner, why is Africa full of black people and America full of white people ..disease basically . Until we had quinine and gun boats Africa wasn’t a place whitey could settle and we struggled in India.
    The sexual playfulness of Chaucer is in the pre STD and Protestantism whereas the neurotic Victorians were assailed by syphilis a truly spiteful condition. I have heard it argued that the prevalence of disease also affects political and social attitudes ( Jordan Peterson actually ) and as we know many people still think illness is a punishment visited on people for some moral failing or other.

    I cannot imagine what it might be that the old have recently done to deserve and fluey plague ….or can I …hmmm

  5. Facepainter -wanking IS a fantasy for scum like you-even your imaginary creations are likely disgusted by and reject your EU-fawning and treacherous excuse for a soul.

    Remember weasel-dick– the deepest circle of Hell is reserved just for trash like you. And when you get down there you’ll find they can’t stomach you either.

  6. Newmania:

    “Until we had quinine and gun boats Africa wasn’t a place whitey could settle…”

    Any viruses left after the naval bombardment could be mopped up with quinine, presumably.

  7. It looks as if Newmy has been consulting his well-thumbed copy of Mein Kampf again. I haven’t read so much nonsense since my last attempt to read Gobineau’s Essai sur l’inégalité des races humaines

  8. Newmania: Well, I suppose you could argue that humans first evolved in Africa, so diseases had more time to evolve with them, so the Africans found it harder to develop the technology to cross the Atlantic and conquer America themselves. But I incline to the theory that quite specific local factors led to the development of European seapower.

    The Portuguese had driven the wicked settler-colonialist Mahometans from their land, and then attempted to liberate the stolen Christian territories of North Africa. They were soundly defeated. So the Portuguese monarch established a giant, state-sponsored research program to find the route around Africa and attack Mecca from behind.

    The Spanish having just won their own war of liberation, Isabella decided to try and catch up. So she backed a crackpot called Columbus, who pointed out that the wind blew west from the Canaries and east onto the coast of Portugal. This worked.

    Quite obviously, the Mahometans could have done this while they held the south of Spain. But of course they already had an area ripe for their settlers to rape and rob. It was called Europe.

    As for India, the crucial factor appears to have been that, as a Mahometan empire, the Mughals did not have primogeniture like the Portuguese, and the wars between potential heirs led to the empires’ break-up. But the factor that allowed the Brits to conquer the fragments was close order drill.

    As for the factors that let the Brits conquer enough territory so the taxes could pay for an army to conquer the rest, you start getting down to individuals like Clive.

  9. That is a good question, El Draque. Well, at least I thought it too. I decided too many other factors involved to say definitively.

    Wash my hands? NFW. Objective is to get THEM to wash their hands.

    I don’t got it. MY washing does nothing.

  10. Also, is it me or are photos of hot Italian girls wearing masks the new “Pretty A level students jumping on results day”?

  11. Noel C said:
    “I’ve seen questions online asking if coronavirus is sexually transmitted, which seems rather irrelevant unless you are banging with a gas mask on.”

    Claiming they’re shagging whilst keeping 2 metres apart is just bragging.

  12. Hi Bognaboy
    Well the Arabs also failed to penetrate inner sub Saharan Africa as did Europe, with its sea power during centuries in which both carried on a thriving trade in people. The reason was Malaria. Native Americans on the other hand, were exterminated by European diseases. That has to be important.

  13. Nonsense. Arabs were trading across the Sahel before the Europeans got there. And they penetrated from Zanzibar right up to the Great Lakes and beyond.

    Further, malaria was endemic in Europe at the time.

    Now, if you said other insect bourne and other diseases, then perhaps. But it weren’t malaria.

  14. Well you say that


    From A Brief History of Malaria

    “But nowhere—past or present—has malaria exacted a greater toll than on Africa. A powerful defensive pathogen, it was a leading obstacle to Africa’s colonization. Portuguese traders who entered the African coastal plain in the late 1400s and early 1500s were the first foreigners to confront the killing fever. For the next 3 centuries, whenever European powers tried to establish outposts on the continent, they were repelled time and again by malaria, yellow fever, and other tropical scourges. By the 18th century, the dark specter of disease earned West and central Africa the famous epitaph, “the White Man’s Grave.”

    ……seems to back up my Malarial point whilst allowing your controversial and wildly extreme assertion is not entirely wrong either . Thats what I was getting at anyway ?

  15. Oh dear, Newmy fucks up again. Bluster about malaria in Africa does not refute the point that Arabs were active in most parts of Africa

  16. El Draque: “I also wonder if we’ll see a decline of other diseases. Standing further apart and washing thoroughly must surely affect transmission of all viruses.”

    Mrs Nerd saw an ENT consultant yeterday (about an unrelated matter) and took the opportunity to ask for his thoughts on coronavirus.

    He said that by this time of the year we would normally have had several hundred deaths from seasonal flu, but this year it’s still in single figures.

  17. “MY washing does nothing.”

    Gamecock, the washing of your hands is stop any narsty germies from other people getting into you. Just think of who else may have touched that shopping cart, or door handle etc. when you’ve been out and about. Heck, consider how many people had contact with the letters and parcels that show up at your door. 😉


  18. Funny that he hasn’t mentioned Tsetse fly. Funnier still that he hasn’t mentioned the Voortrekkers, the sturdy males who populate his sexual fantasies

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