Home delivery

The current earliest delivery slot for home delivery in a British town is 7 April. That’s for groceries.

Might not work as a solution, eh?

44 thoughts on “Home delivery”

  1. People will have to shop and fuck all this lockdown bollocks.

    It is hard to imagine Plod would be so stupid as to try and stop you shopping but in this day/age etc who knows. If Plod does try to effectively starve you by preventing your shopping then fists will have to go into faces. Go shopping with as big a team as you can & include vulnerable people so the Bluebottles know that any rough stuff–almost exclusively reserved for individuals or small groups they can out-number heavily–will bring them bad publicity as well as serious physical problems.

  2. Stopped at the off licence on the way home Last night and the staff was talking about their distribution centre shutting down. All alcohol comes through the Provincial Govt. distribution centres, which would mean all off licences closing as well as the pubs and bars already closed and supermarkets here aren’t allowed to sell booze and they would have to buy from govt anyway.
    Seems like centralising supply is not such a good idea for basics

  3. According to the Telegraph, which does seem to be leading the pack when it comes to scaremongering, the government is basing its actions on Imperial College models which claim that 4.4% of the population will need to be hospitalised. That is 3m people. It is predicting peak demand for ICU beds in June at around 125 per 100,000, so more than 80,000.
    These models also seem to assume the virus will be unaffected by warmer weather in the summer, as per SARS etc.
    Meanwhile, here in Asia, the rate of infection has slowed dramatically everywhere.

    I worry that the UK is being shut down on the basis of modelling and hysteria.

  4. I’m OK for ale until next week Friday ie this weekend I’m covered but if I can’t get beer next week I am truly fucked!

  5. They should get Our Climate Modellers on the case, so that everything about the future spread of the disease can be predicted with complete infallibility…

  6. Canada is seeing even lower rates than U.K. and everyone is home, my concern is that it can’t be sustainable and once everyone comes back we will just have a surge so doubly screwed. The entire country is on lockdown over 9 deaths and they are all elderly with underlying conditions.
    UK handling of trying to hold back on emergency measures seems much more sensible

  7. The UCL team – led by Neil Ferguson (no relation to the TV historian) – doing the modelling, is the same one that handled the foot and mouth outbreak for Tony Blair. Jim can probably remind us how well that went.

  8. We had a grocery delivery yesterday. About a third was “unavailable”.

    ‘once everyone comes back we will just have a surge so doubly screwed’

    Now known as the epidemic yoyo.

    Cheer up; sometimes epidemics dwindle away for no known reason.

  9. Jussi said:
    “if I can’t get beer next week I am truly fucked!”

    Fortunately I did a big (really big) wine run to France just before Brexit, in case it wasn’t possible afterwards, so I’m fine.

  10. Chris Miller said:
    “The UCL team – led by Neil Ferguson – doing the modelling, is the same one that handled the foot and mouth outbreak”

    We’re doomed!

  11. Grocery store this AM looked almost normal. Yeah, normal. Produce fully stocked. Only meat counter was wiped out, maybe 80%. It was 90% yesterday. I was forced to buy filet mignon for this evenings dinner.

  12. Heard on the radio this afternoon, Morrisons are recruiting 3,500 more delivery drivers.

    Sounds like business is reacting a lot more quickly than government (although no doubt government will slow down the process).

  13. @Chris Miller – March 18, 2020 at 8:32 pm

    The UCL team – led by Neil Ferguson (no relation to the TV historian) – doing the modelling, is the same one that handled the foot and mouth outbreak for Tony Blair. Jim can probably remind us how well that went.

    Are they the geniuses that did the predictions fro the last four pandemics? “Mystic Meg” could have done a far better job, viz:

    For the UK…
    SARS – tens of thousands of deaths predicted, actually just 4 cases, zero deaths. (NHS figures)
    Avian Flu – 75,000 deaths predicted, actual deaths = zero. (NHS)
    Swine Flu – 3,100 to 65,000 deaths predicted, actual deaths = 138 from 540,000 reported cases (0.026%). (NHS).
    BSE was going to cause “millions of deaths”, actually 178 deaths from NvCJD. (NHS).

    On the basis that (in England & Wales 2018) on average 1,480 people died every day, Covid-19 isn’t even a rounding error yet. Frankly, I suspect that it may never become statistically significant in the UK – despite the media’s best efforts to convince everyone to panic further. Today’s “shock headline” – “Britains youngest coronavirus death”, some poor chap of 49, it only mentions in passing that he was suffering from Motor Neurone Disease!!!

  14. From ‘my Tesco’ first slot available is 30 March & cheapest £1.50 is
    17:00-21:00. First £1 is Wed 4 April 11:00-15:00

    Takes time to hire, train, regulate and buy new refrigerated vans at big Co

    Uber, Deliveroo and JustEat should jump in and deliver for every small shop and offer a “Click & Collect” deliver

    @RichardT March 18, 2020 at 10:14

    Buying 1,500 more refrigerated vans from?

    Yeah, Gov’t will bork it
    – “No deliveries between 23:00 and 08:00”
    – “All drivers must attend and pass a 5 day Covid-19 borefest approved training course
    – No training courses currently approved by joint PHE, NHS, H&S, PHS, NHS Scotland…. inter governmental task force

    @MC

    I worry that the UK is being shut down on the basis of modelling and [msm] hysteria

    Only Worry? No, it IS based on GIGO Models

    Perspective:
    – 200,000 infected in world of 8 Billion (8,000,000,000) – even if x10 = 2,000,000 it’s nothing
    – In UK normal deaths is 1,680 every day (ONS)

  15. Morrisons 16:30 today

    Few customers
    No loo roll, soap, bleach, disinfectant, wipes… UHT milk
    No root veg inc potatoes
    No chicken, all meat 5% left; frozen inc veg worse
    No flour, pasta, rice, beans & pulses, eggs
    No baked beans, all tinned goods low, pasta sauces low
    Bread – 5% left
    Food/Pet bank donation box/trolley gone

    People are buying anything even if no idea what to do with it or ability to cook it

    Also buying lots of food they will never eat as
    – past ‘Use By’ or ‘Best Before’ date and binned
    – don’t know how to cook and binned

    Selfish, ignorant, gullible prats harming the elderly, vulnerable and poor – cnuts

    I put blame on media for relentlessly promoting “We’re doomed, we’re all going to die”

  16. ““The UCL team – led by Neil Ferguson – doing the modelling, is the same one that handled the foot and mouth outbreak”

    We’re doomed!”

    I concur. If the F&M outbreak is any guide to whats going to happen now, then we’re f*cked. Not only did they fail entirely to work out where and when the F&M had arrived in the country, they then allowed animals to freely move around while they faffed about, then when they realised it was spreading started slaughtering animals left right and centre regardless of whether they had the disease or not.

    Not only that, the 2001 F&M fiasco was the catalyst for the Civil Contingencies Act, introduced a few years later, because they’re realised that actually they didn’t legally have the powers to do a lot of what they’d actually done. Plus of course a good opportunity to grab some more power for the State of course.

    So be afraid, very afraid…..

  17. “People are buying anything even if no idea what to do with it or ability to cook it”

    I have to agree. A few days ago, the produce shelves were completely scrubbed. They’ve got some real obscure s#|t out there, yet it ALL was gone.

    Same with toilet paper. Rack at Walmart completely cleared of everything. If it was on the rack, it sold. For purposes known only to God.

  18. We book deliveries an week or two in advance, then add items to them as necessary. Tesco delivery this evening. Normal shop including wine, vegetables, meat, some ready meals, toilet rolls and a couple of extra things added. Almost all delivered except sanitising wipes, rice, UHT milk, tinned tomatoes and paracetamol.

  19. From: “Tesco”
    To:
    Subject: A message from Dave Lewis, Tesco CEO
    Date sent: Wed, 18 Mar 2020 17:48:11 +0000
    .
    It is fair to say that we find ourselves in uncharted waters. COVID-19 is bringing a change to the UK and it’s clear that lots of things are going to have to shift around in order to help us cope.
    .
    At Tesco, we have been doing everything we can to keep business as usual, but we now have to accept it is not business as usual. In the last two weeks, we have seen significant and prolonged increases in demand across all of our stores and this is leading to shortages in some products for some customers.
    .
    Reacting to the latest government announcements, we have to plan on this situation being the new normal and we will do all that we can to make the food you want available, but we need your help. In order to protect the core shopping essentials, we are going to implement some changes in our stores. The changes are designed to simplify what we do so that we can provide more of what people need in a clean and safe environment. We ask for your understanding and your support.
    .
    From Thursday 19 March we will start to implement the following changes:
    .
    – To ensure more people have access to everyday essentials, we are introducing a storewide restriction of only 3 items per customer on every product line, and removing multi-buy promotions.
    .
    – In order to allow Tesco colleagues to focus on stocking shelves, helping to provide the essential groceries you are looking for and to avoid waste, we will close all meat, fish, deli counters and salad bars.
    .
    – To be able to ensure our stores are clean, that we can replenish stock,and allow our colleagues to rest, we will change our trading hours with all stores closing at 10pm.
    .
    – To ensure we are doing everything possible to reduce the risk of infection for both our customers and colleagues, we will be introducing some distancing measures at the checkout and, to make it swifter, invite customers who can, to pay by card.
    .
    To help free up slots for the more vulnerable, such as our elderly customers and those who are self-isolating, we are encouraging customers who shop online or choose Click+Collect for their grocery home shopping, to prioritise shopping in-store where possible.
    .
    – To ensure our more vulnerable and elderly customers can shop in-store, we will prioritise one hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning between 9-10am (except in our Express stores) and ask that you respect this.

    Thank you for your support.
    .
    Dave Lewis, Tesco CEO

  20. Front Page of Edinburgh Evening News 18 March – rofl

    “Princes Street, 12 noon”
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETWDsjnXQAo_emq.jpg

    Subs, subs where are you?

    @Gamecock March 18, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    200,000 cases of coronavirus worldwide = PANDEMIC !!!

    36,000,000 cases of seasonal flu in U.S. = yawn.

    My Corona, The Knack – Not

    “Mr President, it’s racist to refer to ‘foreign/Chinese/Wuhan’ virus”

    Trump: “No, it’s not racist, I’m being accurate – that’s where it came from. Next question”

  21. Pcar said:
    “Buying 1,500 more refrigerated vans from?”

    There’s 168 hours in a week; 30-ish hours per person per week, that’s probably 5 shifts, so more like 700 vans?

    With a big fleet, they must be sending dozens to auction every month; can keep them going for a few more months. Also do they buy or lease? Might be some spare capacity in the leasing system.

    But mostly I’d guess a lot of it is about maximising the use of their existing fleet, squeezing more shifts out of the vans they’ve got, covering staff sickness and holidays, that sort of thing. Perhaps switching to 24-hour delivery if they don’t already?

    “Gov’t will bork it”
    Agreed.

  22. Yeah, people are stupid.

    I see articles about how we should all ‘just be allowed to work from home’. By the same people that think autonomous cars are going to kill private vehicle ownership.

    They simply have no idea that outside of the city cores, the vast majority of jobs can not be done remotely any more than they know that the vast majority of the country lives in places with fewer than a 1,000 people per square mile or how ‘just in time’ logistics systems work.

    But they’re certain they know how to run the world.

  23. Aus PM Scott Morrison blasts coronavirus misinformation on Twitter
    Prime Minister Scott Morrison has declared Twitter is a breeding ground for “gossip and nonsense” as he urges people to stop listening to fake news circulating the social media network
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFU7_eMlZ_w

    Crazed coronavirus hoarders slammed by Prime Minister
    Abusive and crazed shoppers hoarding food and toilet paper amid the coronavirus crisis have been blasted by Prime Minister Scott Morrison who used a national address to please just “stop it”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6uB6KNqktc

    Scott Morrison delivered his ‘best performance’ as PM
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oczJTjKIH1A

    If only mumbling BoJo would be as confident as Trump and Morrison, although BoJo is miles better than panicking EU Gangsters

  24. Only a matter of time before the Labour Party officially blames the Jews for poisoning the wells.

  25. I just hope drug production of hydroxychloroquine chloroquine and the tetracyclines hasn’t all been globalised to China in which case we are all hosages.

  26. – To ensure our more vulnerable and elderly customers can shop in-store, we will prioritise one hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning between 9-10am (except in our Express stores) and ask that you respect this.

    Thank you for your support.
    .
    Dave Lewis, Tesco CEO

    So no checks as to age and business as usual, all the usual suspects will now be over seventy going in anyway.
    Saw large quantities of detergents washing machine tablets Comfort etc being purchased when all else was sold out, it seems you can put what you like on the shelves and the imbeciles will buy it.

  27. “People are buying anything even if no idea what to do with it or ability to cook it”

    I expect one of the most common Google queries at the moment is “how to cook pasta”

  28. I spoke to my Tesco delivery driver yesterday.

    They are ‘desperate’ for delivery drivers.

    They do a driving assessment, and for those who don’t pass, there are loads of other jobs in the store, which is working flat out.

  29. Dennis, Legend of the Parish

    Amazon has introduced a prioritization scheme to ensure deliveries of food, medical products, personal care products and the like get delivered first. Today they suspended all shipments of CD and records. Books are on a “whenever we get around to it” basis. It seems to be working. I’ve been tracking variety of items on Amazon since last Thursday (the day Ohio introduced school closings, etc), and there have been ebbs and flows, but even toilet paper was only unavailable for about 36 hours on Amazon Prime. Amazon is looking to hire 100,000 nationwide, and FedEx is delivering for Amazon on an overflow basis.

    Our local supermarkets were cleaned out on Thursday. I visited Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and have noticed that they are functioning. In-store butchering and baking has ceased, with those folks put on stocking detail. Toilet paper is still out, but paper towels and diapers are back in the stores. Milk, eggs and bread are available, though stocks are lower than normal. Fresh packaged beef is hard to find, pork is low but there and seafood and produce are available at normal levels. The stores have plenty of food, just not all the varieties one is used to. Kroger has announced they are hiring 600 temps in Central Ohio to do nightly stocking. They will be paying premium wages.

    They hardest things to find these days are toilet paper and handgun ammunition. That tells me that the distribution system is coping pretty well with the situation.

  30. I saw a letter in the paper. Some chap’s 89 year old Mum had been instructed to cross the county for an interview to establish whether she should be allowed to renew her Blue Badge.

    The mills of local government grind slow but they grind exceeding fine.

  31. Lockdown Offer: Piddle Brewery emails with offer of 20% off and free delivery in Dorset… my two cases are on their way.

  32. Andrew C said:
    “I expect one of the most common Google queries at the moment is “how to cook pasta””

    Wasn’t that one of Sir Pterry’s lines? Something like “I’ve been grilling it for hours and it’s still too tough!”

  33. djc said:
    “Lockdown Offer: Piddle Brewery emails with offer of 20% off and free delivery in Dorset… my two cases are on their way.”

    Unfortunately Piddle is well-named; it tastes like piss. A pity when my two nearest breweries (Piddle and Badger) are both dreadful. But there are other better ones not far away.

  34. Dennis, I have plenty of ammo left over from the last crisis. Plus powder, bullets, and tens of thousands of primers*.

    Didn’t want to be caught short again when government creates the next crisis.

    *Reloading components, for you non-shooters.

  35. Gamecock said:
    “Dennis, I have plenty of ammo left over from the last crisis. Plus powder, bullets, and tens of thousands of primers.”

    Why does that give me the feeling that the “last crisis” was the Revolutionary War?

  36. They didn’t use primers in the Revolutionary War.

    We didn’t need ’em, either.

    H/T Sir Banastre Tarleton

  37. ‘The current earliest delivery slot for home delivery in a British town is 7 April.’

    You should have ordered. Probably 21 August, now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *