Come on now:
This summer I will be visiting Portugal for the fifth year in a row,
The one thing I haven’t done, much to my chagrin, is to learn any Portuguese whatsoever.
The truth is that there is no real need, as everybody is used to tourists and speaks impeccable English
In the big tourist cities, true. 3 miles outside them it ain’t.
I speak a little bit of Spanish,
And now you’ve got to stop being a twat. The languages are, sorta, derivatives of each other. Or, if you prefer, only a little further apart than accents of each other.
Cerveja – pronounced cervezha – and cerveza – pronounced cervetha , roughly and -ish -ish
Lombo, lomo. Manteiga, mantequilla. Vino, vino.
We’re really not that far away. And, oddly enough, Portuguese is often closer to Catalan than to Castilian (Bom Dia, Bon Dia, Buen Dia).
If you have some Spanish then you’ve some Portuguese. Trot it out, stick on a cod-Russian accent and you’re about there actually.