Who the hell are these people?

Billie Eilish has given the music industry everything it could possibly want. An authentic new voice that appeals to teenagers and their parents. A debut album that has sold more than 2m copies in the US alone. A decisive stylistic evolution from the preceding decade’s dominant pop mode. A clean sweep of the four key categories at the Grammys. A copper-bottomed streaming success model. A James Bond theme that rejuvenates a tired franchise and extends her commercial and creative clout.

Until she offers up her prime commodity as a young female pop star, it will never be enough.

While 18-year-old Eilish is a beguilingly physical performer, she has never shown her body in service of her art. She prefers loose clothing because she feels comfortable in it, and has denounced the use of her image to shame female pop stars who dress differently. Not that it’s stopped anyone. Denying spectators the traditional metric by which female stars are judged – sexiness, slimness; the body as weathervane that reveals how tormented or contented they must be when they lurch between the extremes of those states – has created an obsession with her body and what it must stand for.

It sure ain’t capitalists to blame, nor the men. They’re off counting the money and giggling quietly to themselves as they do so.

It must, therefore, be the women being mean – but then that’s always true, isn’t it? The viciousness with which young women regard each other is famed throughout history. It’s vastly worse than anything men do to the distaff side.

19 thoughts on “Who the hell are these people?”

  1. “The viciousness with which young women regard each other is famed throughout history. It’s vastly worse than anything men do to the distaff side.”

    Point taken, but “anything”? Jack the Gossip?

  2. The Pedant-General

    “the traditional metric by which female stars are judged – sexiness, slimness; ”

    Adele?

  3. Until I saw a Billie Eilish video on YouTube I had no idea one could be a mong professionally.

  4. I presume this is the Guardian, who are about the most conservative people on the planet? Because the problem is that the British pop industry is now all this indulgent, woke, shit. Which doesn’t tell you what the kids are listening to, because the kids are listening to YouTube and stuff now.

    They’re listening to Korean and Japanese pop because it’s fun. It doesn’t come with a lecture about racism or intersectional feminism. Some pretty girls get on a stage, sing a song and fuck off afterwards. Or some nice boys sing some love songs, like BTS who, on global sales, sold bigger than Billie Eilish.

  5. She’s got some new video out where she removes some of usual baggy clothing. So this is just PR to get acres of free advertising from the usual wokerati (gullible) press. And it’s clearly worked.

  6. Roue le jour,

    “Until I saw a Billie Eilish video on YouTube I had no idea one could be a mong professionally.”

    I’d never hear of her before this article. Just googled it. Wow. That is so many generations of brother and sister marrying. It’s like Susanne Boil had a child with her trans-self…..

  7. Had a look on utub–she looks like a mental case. Biggish blumps but nothing to write home about. Nusic is rubbish.

  8. “A James Bond theme that rejuvenates a tired franchise” Films not even out yet. Who watches a film for the title song? (except musicals). Risible – but then it is the Guardian . Don’t even talk to me about their film crtic Peter Bradshaw – fucking clown.

  9. >Which doesn’t tell you what the kids are listening to, because the kids are listening to YouTube and stuff now. They’re listening to Korean and Japanese pop because it’s fun.

    This is true.

  10. Steve: “The bird with the gigantic mouth who was married to Chris Evans?”

    No, that’s Billie Piper.

  11. Mama Cass and Alison Moyet and any number of female jazz and blues singers also somehow seemed to manage without being slim. Maybe it was something to do with talent.

    Oh and the “rejuvinated” Bond wokefest is quietly going back for significant reshoots and re-editing after disastrous previews.
    SSSSHHHH!
    Fortunately Eon can blame the delay on the sniffles apocalypse.

  12. The Meissen Bison

    moqifen: Don’t even talk to me about their film crtic Peter Bradshaw – fucking clown.

    Rocco could probably do something with that so make sure you get a credit for the concept.

  13. “Billie Eilish” – who?

    Good grief, she’s white – no wonder Guardian dislikes her. But she’s an Emo who are a protected minority

    The missing Link

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