Gentleman crashes his Lamborghini 20 minutes after buying it
The Septics at Boing Boing don’t understand that a gentleman would never buy a Lamborghini. If a gentleman were to require a penis extension – an unlikely event in the first place – it would, of course, be father’s E-type or XK-120, possibly Grandpa’s pre-war Bentley. The absence of such would prove non-gentleman status, obviously enough.
I read that it was stopped after breaking down and was then hit by a large van (truck?).
Rowan Atkinson properly crashing his McLaren F1 i think counts too.
Cash and Carry used an E type to leave for their honeymoon did they not? Subfusc if not a bit common.
Alan Clark was the last gentleman to run an old Bentley. Now it is arriviste.
Trying too hard Worstall.
Nah. You want an Austin-Healey 3000.
Na, you want a series landrover.
Jags are for spivs.
There’s still kudos to be gained from vintage motors, not least from so-called blow ins (the Michael Heseltine furniture conundrum). Out in the sticks, however, it tends to run to restored vintage Land Rovers or early generation Range Rovers.
Yes, I get it, ostentatious display is a little counter productive in England.The Nabobs who made fortunes India might have bought the Lambos of their day, but I wonder of this is quite what it seems . Jane Austen brilliantly captures a country in which wealth is not bragged about but my god everyone knows who has it. Many Nations are happier than the English with lying ….but very few are as uncomfortable with telling the truth.
Alvis TD21, understated and British.
@Newmania
A gentleman doesn’t troll either
1930s Hispano-Suiza, supercharged and with huge running boards.
A nicely restored Triumph Herald convertible.
The gentlemen of my acquaintance, residents of castles and stately homes, invariably drive estate cars, typically Subaru 4WDs.
Driving a vintage car is a marker of class not merely because it means you have enough money to buy & maintain it, but because you are sufficiently comfortable in life that you can afford spare time for the inevitable breakdowns. Us mere working stiffs need reliable cars to get to work on time.
“The gentlemen of my acquaintance, residents of castles and stately homes, invariably drive estate cars, typically Subaru 4WDs.”
Precisely. The true gentlemen does not have to advertise his gentlemanly status by the vehicle he drives, his address does that for him. If you have to have an ostentatious car of whatever sort as a status symbol your ancestral home is obviously not grand enough.
@Alex
The Queen has a 1961 Vauxhall Cresta Friary Estate.
https://classics.honestjohn.co.uk/news/event-news/classic-motor-show-2015/queen-s-cresta-is-the-jewel-in-the-crown-for-vauxhall-at-nec-show/
Is the stereotype that many castle-owners are somewhat strapped for cash these days accurate?
“The true gentlemen does not have to advertise his gentlemanly status by the vehicle he drives“
Certain country gentlefolk advertise their status by the suitability of their vehicles for carrying guns, fishing rods and horse tack. Wouldn’t get far across a grouse moor in a Lamborghini.
“Certain country gentlefolk advertise their status by the suitability of their vehicles for carrying guns, fishing rods and horse tack. Wouldn’t get far across a grouse moor in a Lamborghini.”
True, but the vehicle is chosen purely for functionality. The status comes one step removed by association with grouse moors and deer stalking (ie the ownership of many acres) not the vehicle itself.
I run a shoot on my farm, the grandest people turn up in any old vehicles, the posh top of the range Range Rovers are always the arrivistes.
“The posh top of the range Range Rovers are always the arrivistes.” That’s the whole point behind the boom in refurbished early edition RRs.
Steed used to drive a Bentley 4 1/2 litre….
@Jim: Round these parts the most arriviste (typically hedge fund managers) potter around in spanking new Land Rovers with pristine paint jobs and worst of all those raised exhaust pipes that would come in useful trekking up the Amazon (plus a flash Merc for real driving).
Range Rovers are the preserve of property developers.
Bankers and lawyers drive Volvo S60s and other 4x4s.
Ex-military drive Mercs, BMWs & Audis (or anything Bosch).
Landed gentry drive something sensible.
Where I am, the kudos is a mud-covered 20-year-old Corsa with a missing parcel shelf and a pile of farming tools in the back.
“Landed gentry drive something sensible.”
It has to do with keeping the family pile standing, educating the children. There’s little left for flash cars.
Why buy a Lamborghini? Too difficult fitting a roof rack or towing bar.
@ Harry Haddock’s Ghost
“Na, you want a series landrover.”
I presume you mean a I series Land Rover. They were numbered not lettered. Hence a IIIA.
And I’d be very surprised if there’s more than 2 or 3 people reading this could actually drive a I series. No power on the brakes or steering. Virtually no synchomesh. None on first. About a foot of clutch travel. And that’s before you start coping with FWD on anything else but a dry road.
Come to think of it, same applies to E-Types. The classic ones – mine was a ’65 4.2 DH with the faired in headlights. Yep. 150mph. It may have looked like a futuristic car but drove like something from the 40’s. E-Type steering, particularly in the wet, could best be described as “hopeful”. And limited slip diffs can produce quite amazing results for the unwary.
Oh, and you generally found the kerb-weight was considerable less than the spec in the handbook. Every time you slam the door the rust drops off the underneath.
@ bis
Don’t talk soft! Must be lots of us who could, as distinct from wanting to. When I started learning to drive my Dad’s car certainly had no power steering or synchromesh on first, also too much clutch travel, don’t remember about power for brakes but he and I had leg muscles (and, to a much greater degree than most women, so did my mother and sisters) and would have been a match for the average farmer. Tossing a caber, I should never have had a chance, but driving a Landrover was for ordinary humans *who needed to*.
“I’d be very surprised if there’s more than 2 or 3 people reading this could actually drive a I series. No power on the brakes or steering. Virtually no synchomesh. None on first. About a foot of clutch travel. And that’s before you start coping with FWD on anything else but a dry road.”
Learned to drive and passed my test on an original series LR. Double de-clutching, i.e. on the Bedford TKs, were part of the fun.
Still have a diesel Series 111 in Ireland. My wife will not go anywhere near it.
Brakes? Steering?
Pah!
Depends what you started driving on, John. Pretty well the first car I drove was an Armstrong with a pre-selector. Does anyone now even know how to drive one? Early Landies were very agricultural. They’d follow the slightest bump in the road. I presume that’s down to the castor angle. The more castor angle the more the car wants to go straight on. Not a feature you want driving across a steep slope off-road. Steering on modern cars self centre and few people are used to cars that don’t. The E would swap ends with the least provocation on a wet road. The inside driven wheel does NOT slow down on corners. Limited slip diff. You either go round a corner very carefully or you let the tail slide out & push it round the corner on traction. Can mean you’re steering right in a left hand corner.
“ I presume you mean a I series Land Rover. They were numbered not lettered. Hence a IIIA.
And I’d be very surprised if there’s more than 2 or 3 people reading this could actually drive a I series. No power on the brakes or steering. Virtually no synchomesh. None on first. About a foot of clutch travel. And that’s before you start coping with FWD on anything else but a dry road.”
Some of the older vehicles when I served in Germany were just like that. We even learned the art of changing gear without using the clutch.
Braking was the real bugger, you’d always leave lots of space behind the vehicle in front which was an invite for some clown to nip in and then stamp on his brakes, not realising you’d done it for good reason. I never had an accident but it was close a few time.
“The Nabobs who made fortunes India might have bought the Lambos of their day, but I wonder of this is quite what it seems.”
And now Indians own Jaguar.
Trivia question: Jaguar was originally titled Swallow Sidecar. Why did they change their name?
“Jaguar was originally titled Swallow Sidecar. Why did they change their name?”
Presumably because post 1945 saying you owned an SS 100 lost a good deal of cachet thanks to Adolph and his gang…….
It sounded too much like an injunction to down a cocktail?
Lamborghini (the original family firm) make tractors.
But it’s terribly infra dig to drive farm machinery in town. It’s black cabs for me. Definitely not Uber.
For a nicely understated fuck-you motor I’d recommend the dual cab LWB flat bed Mitsubishi L200. Does everything a man with his own personal oil well could desire.
“I’d be very surprised if there’s more than 2 or 3 people reading this could actually drive a I series.”
I drove a Series III for years but I originally learned to drive on a tractor. So I reckon I could probably manage on a Series I.
Hell, I’m of a vintage that thinks wind-down windows and radios in cars are pretty bloody novel.
@dearie me
Yes, class can be signified by what you DON’T have in your car.
a/c, satnav, electric windows, rear window heaters, cd players, bluetooth, carphone jacks, digital displays, entertainment systems of any kind more sophisticated than FM radio, multi-adjustable seats (though bench seats are more authentic), central locking, ping noises for anything.
You might just be able to get away with seat belts in the back row. And air bags so long as they are unobtrusive. For the kiddies, doncha know.
According to Philip, I must be the absolute dregs. Power opening doors, a flip-down TV & 6 disc DVD player & a fridge. How do I hide my shame?
For me the ultimate cachet has to come from a 7. Lotus rather than Caterham for preference. You are the quickest thing on the road. There’s no need to prove it.
“Double de-clutching, i.e. on the Bedford TKs, were part of the fun”
Taught myself Double de-clutching in the Mk1 Mini I started out in. Saved me having to come to a complete stop when approaching a local roundabout with an uphill gradient too steep for a 2nd gear pull away, if caught in a slow moving queue.
@ dearime “wind-down windows” – Said Mini didn’t have that luxury, just a pair of sliding ones, along with a cord operated door handle.
Dave Ward
And my first cars were Minis too.
But the commercial van version, because they were much cheaper (no car tax, or something)
Remember the rubber grommets in the front floor pan? Had to remove mine so the water could get out as well as in. And the bloody accelerator cable kept rusting up, so the whole of the might 35 horses were engage and wouldn’t stop when you took your foot off the accelerator (had to put toe underneath accelerator pedal and pull up). Aye, and double declutching too…
Got a Jaguar XE now. Much more fun and significantly quicker. And drier.
BiS:
I had, amongst a multitude of cars (including a Ford GT40 in later years, sob.), a Daimler DB18 Barker drophead with a Wilson pre-selector box-lovely thing it was too, but a mate of mine at Trinity borrowed it one night to impress a lady,got pissed in the Lamb and Flag and stuffed it into a wall in Queen’s Lane. He didn’t get his end away, but he did get me a replacement-an E93A. I was not chuffed.
TK Bedfords? Softy modern things!
I learnt on both an RL and a Fordson Major, with hand throttle.. An RL Bedford is, for those who don’t know, the lorry equivalent of a horse drawn lot. Minus the speed and comfort.
My brother in law has an early ’90s Defender 90 Pickup. It has power steering and brakes, a 5 speed box, decent heater, reasonable legroom, comfortable seats and you can lock it. It also has a TDI engine that’s fairly powerful and quiet, albeit not by modern standards. He thinks it’s horrid.
When he comes over to visit me in Clare, I’m going to let him drive my Series 111.
That’ll teach him.
“Taught myself Double de-clutching in the Mk1 Mini I started out in. ”
Ah, but the first class honours graduate dispenses with the clutch altogether. Or has to, when the clutch cable breaks. Once did about 70 miles in traffic sans clutch. It is possible. With the engine warmed but off, engage first gear. Now hit the starter & the car will jump forward & the engine catch & turn. It’s not too bad going up the box but coming down’s a lot harder. Need to get the revs just right as you go through neutral. And a great deal of anticipation of the traffic flow so you never actually stop. Or it’s back to line one. And I can tell you the gearbox isn’t too happy. Nor are the people behind you.
@philip: “Yes, class can be signified by what you DON’T have in your car.”
If you buy your car second-hand it will probably have lots of features that you wouldn’t have paid extra for had you bought it new.
We’ve got used to windows that move vertically, and radios. In fact we now have a/c, satnav, electric windows, rear window heaters, and central locking. As for bluetooth, carphone jacks: no idea – what are they? Digital displays, entertainment systems: delighted by their absence. Constrained by buying second-hand we have ended up without a sunroof. Pity.
The a/c is excellent: it demists superbly in winter and saves you driving with open windows if you have to enter the badlands.
BiS- my pops did the same, clutchless driving about 40 miles. I’m still in awe
Clutchless riding a BSA was dead easy. Because you could push start it.
“According to Philip, I must be the absolute dregs. Power opening doors, a flip-down TV & 6 disc DVD player & a fridge.”
Not at all, BiS. When in Spain.
And even so I think we’ll forgive you the fridge so long as the tail gate can double as a picnic table.
Driving a Lambourghini is a nightmare due to the stupid paddle shift and everyone trying to take videos. Visibility behind is terrible. Driving the testarossa is far more enjoyable apart from the lack of power steering
A Mule
Clutchless driving, pah! I did 30 miles home with no brake fluid, controlling my speed with the hand brake. 😉
On the motorway.
In rush hour.
Piss. jgh. Piss in the reservoir.
Tony Crook (Bristol) summed up supercars for me. All right on a track. Why they were working on a Grand Touring car. Top speed & cruising speed, 200 mph. On a road. All day.
He wasn’t wrong. Lambos etc like billiard table surfaces. Put them on a normal road surface, cracking, truck wear, poor repairs, they’re very twitchy. Get a lot of road noise. And they’re a bastard in traffic. Poor visibility. Parking’s horrible. But they do look good once they’re parked. And maintenance. Simple things are an engine out job with some Ferraris. Sort of car some else should own so you can look at it.
“We’ve got used to windows that move vertically, and radios. In fact we now have a/c, satnav, electric windows, rear window heaters, and central locking. As for bluetooth, carphone jacks: no idea – what are they?”
Mrs G. gave me a pimped-up Range Rover for my birthday. It has more tech than a space shuttle, little of which I’ve used.
As for being defined by what you don’t have… They’re as narcissistic as the rest of us, but have bigger, more important, outlays and limited incomes. If the budget would allow they’d be the first to buy back granddad’s Bentley.
Remembering Mr in Spain’s line of business, I would expect it to also have shocking pink sparkly paintwork, excessive amounts of chrome plating, and a fake furry leopard print interior.
@ John Wilkinson
Fordson Major takes me back to living in Tipperary as a kid. Used to drive many a Caterpillar bulldozer, JCB backhoe and Massey Fergerson, David Brown & Ford tractors around farms. Double declutch wasn’t that hard even at 13 years of age. Plus hand throttle on them all.
10-4, bis. Had to do it too frequently in my Fiat 124 Spider.
Jim, you are correct. ‘SS’ didn’t sound too good in England at the time.
‘crashes his Lamborghini 20 minutes after buying it’
I hear this kind of story occasionally. On this side of the pond, it’s usually Corvettes.
I have owned a number of performance cars. It is usually many months into ownership before I WOT it. Crunching ’em in first 20 minutes means they are an idiot, and/or there’s a woman involved.
How about a paddy hopkirk stick on heated rear window?
But before my time but Pater had one on his Morris 1100.
@ Mr Yan,
Good selection of beasts there!
Did you ever have a go on a Little Grey Fergie?
Whereabouts in Tipp?
“For a nicely understated fuck-you motor I’d recommend the dual cab LWB flat bed Mitsubishi L200.”
If you’re thinking of buying one second-hand it’s essential to check the true mileage by interrogating the ECU. Lots of them are clocked.
I wouldn’t have a Range Rover if it was gifted to me: overpriced money pits.
“Remembering Mr in Spain’s line of business, I would expect it to also have shocking pink sparkly paintwork, excessive amounts of chrome plating, and a fake furry leopard print interior.”
Alas it’s a non-descript metalllic grey with grey leather seating. Apart from that, it looks like its previous owner was one of the US alphabet security agencies. I like American cars. They’re solid & they work. They’re comfortable on long journeys This is the third of the model I’ve had.
However an enormous temptation has come my way. One of the hospitality companies here as succumbed to Coronapanic & there’s a stretch limmo going begging. It’s got a bar! Trouble is, where the hell do I park it? Spanish parking spaces are designed around the needs of the SEAT 500
“For a nicely understated fuck-you motor I’d recommend the dual cab LWB flat bed Mitsubishi L200.”
https://www.lhdplace.co.uk/car-details/14673/MITSUBISHI-L200-22-DI-D-4WD-AUTO-150-INSTYLE.aspx
“In fact we now have a/c, satnav, electric windows,….etc”
A/C = aircon? Car I drove, recently, had AC factory fitted. Domestic voltage from an inverter. I put a 1kW unit in the engine bay of the previous car. Ran a couple of sockets to the interior. Absolute boon if you spend a lot of time travelling. Recharge bits of electronic kit like laptops. Powered a travel kettle for hot drinks. G/F plugged her curling tongs in for running repairs. But you need a sine wave rather than the cheaper square wave or it won’t power a microwave for French gourmet ready meals served with chilled wine from the fridge.
Alas, Philip, the tailgate opens the wrong way for a picnic table. I think the third row of seats invert to provide a rearward facing sofa, though. How all the rear seating disappears into the floor is a miracle of design. Instant van!
The real problem with the Range Rover is that it’s too cramped inside. Suits women and jockeys, I suppose.
A woman we knew once parked hers to walk into an office and emerged to find her car in flames. So it’s not just Elon Musk who builds firetraps.
BiS,
For early Land Rovers, don’t forget the backlash in the steering (which didn’t self-centre, and had half a turn of dead space before it started to react…) – great fun trying to do 60 on the M1 at night.
I once read an interview with a Ferrari / Maserati dealer who said he made a ton of money from selling Ferrari branded clothing and merchandise to the owners, who want everybody to know what they drive. The interviewer asked how much Maserati merchandise he sold and he replied, “Virtually nothing. Maserati owners wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this stuff.”
@ BIS
Another Series LR driver/owner. Personally think they are very easy and forgiving to drive, but then I did learn in one some 15 odd years ago now. At least when parking them, you can stick your head out of the window and see both front and rear corners (modern cars are awful for this). Current stock is 3 different 109″s – a Series 1, and Series 2a, and a mostly Series 2A Bitsa. The crashbox in the two which have them aren’t particularly hard to deal with – you tend not to ever change down below 3rd once you’re rolling anyway (they all have syncromesh on 3rd/4th).
The Bitsa runs a discovery Tdi and the powertrain from an early 110 (modified to keep the output RWD in high box) but is otherwise still standard (leaf springs, drum brakes, worm and rod steering). It’s more comfortable that my modern to drive, although rather noisy, will cruse at 90mph and returns about 30mpg.
It’s also got much better handling than one might expect, I’m forever getting held up by modern car drivers who can get away from me on the straights (it doesn’t accelerate very fast) but who want to slow down for the corners where I don’t. I do know how to corner with the back end sliding sideways and the degree of slide managed on the throttle, but that’s only practice. (Probably half a million miles all up across umpteen landrovers)
If I was going for a proper vintage car with limitless funds, I’d forget 4.5L Bentleys (especially the blowers). I’ve done quite a lot of work on them (largely unintentionally I’m at world expert level in spotting a authentic genuine blower from a fake), and they are a terrible car which which in some aspects was 20 years out of date when they were new. I’d rather have something a bit more interesting and better engineered (e.g. my boss has a 30s Lagonda), possibly a 30s Rolls Royce. That said, for practical (and affordable) 30s fun, I’m contemplating importing a Ford model AA or Graham Bros 1.5T pickup from the states and stuffing a small turbo diesel in the engine bay…
@ John Wilkinson
Don’t recall any of the grey Fergie’s but it is a while ago now sadly.
North of Tipp Town, area between Cappawhite, Annacarty and Hollyford.
“How about a paddy hopkirk stick on heated rear window?”
Yep, fitted one in the aforementioned MK1 Mini – the problem was lack of electricity, seeing as it only had the Lucas C40 (IIRC) dynamo. I had to use it sparingly at night, or the lights would start dimming after a while…
“Did you ever have a go on a Little Grey Fergie?”
A couple of times – AFTER the farmers wife had shown me how they were started! I spent ages trying to work out how to operate the solenoid until she pointed out that you did it from the gear lever. Smart bloke, that Harry Fergusson, he arranged it so that you couldn’t turn the engine over if it was in any gear – only from a dedicated “neutral” slot…
@theprole
If you’re interested, there’s a guy owns the local grua (tow-truck service) in Aranda de Duero (south of Burgos) has heaps of classic American metal. And does great restorations. I think he may be sourcing some of it in Latin America.
bloke in spain:
My first job after failing university was on a road construction project where from time to time I drove that vintage of Land Rover. No synchromesh. When I stepped in I couldn’t double de clutch. When I stepped out I could. It had a cracked cylinder block, and it was vital to check the dipstick before taking it out. If low, one topped up the radiator.
@BlokeInSpain – agree on the Lotus 7. I have the later Caterham version but the original design was so good its hardly changed in 40 years.
Colin Chapman’s vision – add lightness – still rules.
I live in an area with quite a few expensive cars around, and its my caterham that gets the stares, waves and interest at the petrol station. Not the Ferraris etc
“I wouldn’t have a Range Rover if it was gifted to me…”
If you want to stay hitched you do. You smile and say thank you. It’s part of the marriage contract.
All this history. The best time is NOW!
I’ll be running errands this afternoon in my Shelby GT350R. Every drive is an event.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtB3OqCwWXM&feature=youtu.be
“If you want to stay hitched you do. You smile and say thank you. It’s part of the marriage contract.”
Heavens above, no. Mrs W thinks her BMW 2 series is too big for her so she wouldn’t be at all happy with a Range Rover.
@ dearieme I originally learned to drive on a tractor
I too learned on a grey Ferguson (KNN131) and a combination of a 1939 Vauxhall 12 (FWJ114) and Bedford 3-tonner several years before I was allowed near tarmac.
I too, learned to drive on a “7”… Though in my case it was the Austin rather than Lotus variety. 🙂