Don’t think so somehow

Mr Bond, the son of a farm labourer and rabbit trapper, married Janette Tacchi in Taunton, in June 1954. Together they had one son, born the following year, who they also called James. He died in 2005, having spent most of his life in the British Army until his retirement in his late 60s.

That reads as if it’s the son who died in 2005 which doesn’t sound quite right. But more than that they’ve got the retirement from the Army happening in his late 60s, which doesn’t happen except to Field Marshalls who never do, rather than his death in his late 60s after his retirement.

By
Patrick Sawer,
SENIOR NEWS REPORTER and
Matthew Day
IN WARSAW

Ah, yes, it takes writing by committee to make that sort of fuck up.

10 thoughts on “Don’t think so somehow”

  1. The odd comma or apostrophe would do a power of good here!
    Remember apostrophes are important – they help us differentiate an organisation that knows its shit from an organisation that knows it’s shit.

  2. Mr Bond, the son of a farm labourer and rabbit trapper, married Janette Tacchi in Taunton, in June 1954. Together they had one son, born the following year, who they also called James.

    He died in 2005, having spent most of his life in the British Army until his retirement, in his late 60s.

    One new paragraph, one comma.

  3. If he was born in 1955 and died in 2005, he became late a full decade before he turned 60. Even if he died this year he din’t reach his late 60’s.

  4. Dodgy
    He died in 2005 in his late 60s , having spent most of his life in the British Army until his retirement.

    Might be clearer,

  5. @djc

    “….He died in 2005 in his late 60s , having spent most of his life in the British Army until his retirement.

    Might be clearer,….”

    Indeed – it could be far better written. But I was not trying to improve the writing – I was trying to do a forensic examination to find out what might originally have been written, and what modifications might have been made before publication….

  6. @ljh
    “..If he was born in 1955 and died in 2005, he became late a full decade before he turned 60. Even if he died this year he din’t reach his late 60’s….”

    Not sure where you get born in 1955? It states ‘married in 1954’. If we assume that he lived to be 68-69 (late 60s), that gives us a birth data of around 1937, and an age at marriage of 18….

  7. At first reading I had thought that it was saying that the son retired in his late 60s etc.
    It’s not obvious that it meant the father – at least I assume it does as that’s the only way the dates work.
    I think I’m not alone in being confused here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *