Could Boris please get a new girlfriend?

If, of course, he hasn’t already:

Boris Johnson was trying to prevent an exodus of Downing Street staff on Wednesday night after a key aide resigned following a public power struggle with the Prime Minister’s fiancée Carrie Symonds.

Dominic Cummings, Mr Johnson’s most senior adviser, was understood to be considering his position following the departure of his former Vote Leave ally Lee Cain as Mr Johnson’s director of communications.

Mr Cain’s resignation prompted frantic late night scenes in No 10 as staff were tasked with ringing colleagues to gauge how many of them might quit if Mr Cummings followed Mr Cain out of the door.

It came after reports that Mr Cummings had confronted the Prime Minister in Downing Street after Mr Cain announced he would be leaving at the end of the year.

There were even fears that members of the Prime Minister’s Brexit negotiation team, including policy adviser Oliver Lewis, could quit in protest.

Mr Cain quit as Mr Johnson’s director of communications after Ms Symonds effectively vetoed his promotion to Downing Street chief of staff.

Assume the story’s true just for a moment. I’ve no idea of course.

So, who elected Carrie? Why does she have political power just because she spreads her legs for one, not another? Quite, she shouldn’t, should she?

This is entirely independent of whatever it is that she is urging, whatever we think of it being a good or bad thing to urge.

Nowt wrong with strong, powerful, women but in this modern age we really should be demanding that they gain that power the same way as the rest of us, not via their gonads.

41 thoughts on “Could Boris please get a new girlfriend?”

  1. I don’t think Cummings gained his position as a result of his sexual relationship with Boris. Although, obviously, anything is possible – Eton and all that.

  2. Bloke in North Dorset

    In what way did she ‘veto’ the appointment?

    The same way women always get their way – no nookie while that guy’s Chief of Staff.

  3. Rob said:
    “In what way did she ‘veto’ the appointment?”

    The Lysistratian method? Or possibly just by nagging?

  4. On the sound principle that you shouldn’t routinely take your work home, Bojo is daft to have his climate-crazed succubus involved in his working environment and would be better advised to fire Ms Symonds and keep Lee Cain.

  5. So Much For Subtlety

    Why does she have political power just because she spreads her legs for one, not another? Quite, she shouldn’t, should she?

    It worked out so well for Hillary didn’t it? Not to mention the retired sex worker who may end up Vice-President until about Spring.

  6. “So, who elected Carrie? Why does she have political power just because she spreads her legs for one, not another? Quite, she shouldn’t, should she?”

    But be realistic. He’s 56, she’s 32 and pretty tasty. What do you care more about? Getting nuts deep in Carrie Symonds, or having an advisor in the job?

    This is why MPs and ministers should be better paid. Getting access to 32 year old pussy, or not, shouldn’t be clouding the Prime Minister’s judgement.

  7. So Much For Subtlety

    Bloke on M4 November 12, 2020 at 11:26 am – “He’s 56, she’s 32 and pretty tasty. …. This is why MPs and ministers should be better paid.”

    For some definitions of pretty tasty. She isn’t a porker, but she is not exactly top shelf either. Not that I want to be judgemental but like Bill Clinton with his ugly lesbian wife and fat porker intern, I really would like to think that the rewards of the bitter struggle for power at the top of the greasy pole are a lot better than this.

    As a matter of national pride, the British Prime Minister should be in James Bond territory. Why isn’t Boris banging boots with someone like Honor Blackman? Claudine Auger? Daniela Bianchi? Tanya Roberts?

    I suggest they simply are not being paid enough. If we want top talent, they have to be able to afford top totty.

    “Getting access to 32 year old pussy, or not, shouldn’t be clouding the Prime Minister’s judgement.”

    It is amazing what 32 year old pussy does to people. It isn’t about money either. Richer, smarter people have been brought low. See Lola Montez.

  8. The same way women always get their way – no nookie while that guy’s Chief of Staff.

    Never thought that would stop Boris getting it somewhere else.

  9. Dennis, Offender of Krauts, Frogs and other Wogs

    Boris Johnson –

    The very worst of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton all rolled into one… Although neither Carter nor Clinton went into public looking like an unmade bed. And both seemed to grasp the concept of a hair brush.

  10. So I take it you’re not in favour of Kamala Harris as VP?

    Based upon past performance, I’m expecting the accidental humour value of Kamala Harris will be quite high. If she actually makes it to the Whitehouse that is.

    The real election isn’t for a while yet.

  11. Dennis, The Beau Brummell of Central Ohio

    As a matter of national pride, the British Prime Minister should be in James Bond territory. Why isn’t Boris banging boots with someone like Honor Blackman? Claudine Auger? Daniela Bianchi? Tanya Roberts?

    Because top shelf women can pick and choose as they wish (in their prime, at least). Boris Johnson may be PM, but no woman in her right mind ever looked at (or listened to) Boris and said, “Wish I could play with his whangdoodle!”

    The fact that he’s middle aged and hasn’t mastered the use of a comb doesn’t help.

  12. The problem is that it’s an integral part of Boris’s public persona that he does not mind looking like an idiot. Bring publicly pussy-whipped might worry some men but not him or Harry apparently.

  13. From an unnamed insider (one who has not, yet, been sacked by Carrie Symonds: Boris’s roughly tousled hair is not only to make him appear shambolic, but is carefully arranged to hide his balding pate. Like his rambling type of speech, it is “all in the image, dear boy”. All alleged, of course.

  14. Thing is, it’s not just Symonds behind this, it’s all the fucking Tory MPs and peers who are still trying to foil Brexit.
    And there’s plenty of Brexiters who hate Cummings because he’s made it clear he thinks they’re thick as shit.

  15. SMFS,

    “For some definitions of pretty tasty. She isn’t a porker, but she is not exactly top shelf either. Not that I want to be judgemental but like Bill Clinton with his ugly lesbian wife and fat porker intern, I really would like to think that the rewards of the bitter struggle for power at the top of the greasy pole are a lot better than this.”

    I don’t think these jobs are the top of the greasy pole. We think that because they once were. But you get less wars and a lot less of government running everything, and more global/european agreements and they matter less.

    You just have to look at the utter gash that Prime Ministers and politicians waste time on. Like VAT on jam rags, trannies in the military or the price of football shirts. It’s hardly the same as being in charge of British Leyland or being in charge of defence during the cold war. People were outraged that a Northern Ireland minister didn’t know about the sectarian nature of the place, but does it matter? It’s not like anyone’s kicking off in NI any longer. You don’t need people as skilled as Willy Whitelaw and Douglas Hurd.

    Look at how many women are now in politics. And gays. That didn’t just happen. It’s because alphas stopped caring about being in politics. Go and work in the bond department at Goldman Sachs and earn more money. And you don’t have to waste your time on the utter trivia of politics, and no-one cares about where you go on holiday, how much coke you snort, who you shag or anything else.

  16. I don’t think Cummings gained his position as a result of his sexual relationship with Boris.

    Even if he did, at least he has a *position* – an official one with responsibility as well as influence. Symonds is just the sexual partner of the PM. She should have no influence whatsoever on government unless and until she has an official role.

    In fact, her involvement (if real) should be a crime. And the PM should be regarded as a national security threat.

  17. ” but no woman in her right mind ever looked at (or listened to) Boris and said, “Wish I could play with his whangdoodle!””

    There’s 2 things wrong with this statement, a) Boris is quite well known as a shagger, well before he was even Mayor of London, so a fair few women must have fancied getting her hands on his whangdoodle, and b) how many women are in their right mind anyway?

  18. The thing about Symonds is that she was employed by CCHQ as a comms manager. So I think she probably never really feels she left that role and, by definition of having the ear of the PM, kind of got promoted.

  19. ” b) how many women are in their right mind anyway?”

    Ah, the eternal question. First posed on a cave wall by a henpecked Neanderthal.

    I was once advised that women are all of the same mind. And happiness comes from finding out which one’s using it this week & avoiding her.

  20. Dennis, He Who Just Wants To Be Loved

    The problem is that it’s an integral part of Boris’s public persona that he does not mind looking like an idiot.

    That’s only part of the problem. It seems he does not mind acting like an idiot, either. You know, if you look like an idiot and act like an idiot, someone might come to the conclusion you are an idiot.

    Ask Newmania or Ecks… They’ll tell you.

  21. Would you have said Alistair Campbell was right to have Cummings-like influence back in the day, or was he an unelected spin doctor who had far too much of the PM’s ear?

  22. Naturally I agree that Carrie should have no official say over who does what job in No 10, but it’s worth remembering that she was the Conservative Party’s head of communications in 2018 (which is where she hooked up with BoJo), so she does have some understanding of Cain’s role (and nobody could claim that it’s been performed outstandingly well this year*). It wouldn’t be surprising if Boris asked her opinion.

    * nobody could claim that she performed it outstandingly well, either 🙂

  23. @BiG
    For the first half (or more) of Blair’s ‘rule’ he was heavily driven by spin (or at least what the focus groups told him was the ‘right’ strategy). It was only when the dementia praecox set in that he went off-piste, with tragic results (for the Iraqis and many others).

  24. “… but it’s worth remembering that she was the Conservative Party’s head of communications in 2018 ”

    Is that supposed to be a recommendation? Jeez! For what? Inability to run a whelk stall on a wet Tuesday in Aberystwyth?

  25. Bloke in North Dorset

    Chris,

    Naturally I agree that Carrie should have no official say over who does what job in No 10, but it’s worth remembering that she was the Conservative Party’s head of communications in 2018 (which is where she hooked up with BoJo), so she does have some understanding of Cain’s role (and nobody could claim that it’s been performed outstandingly well this year*). It wouldn’t be surprising if Boris asked her opinion.

    Stephen Bush summed it up nicely:

    Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think the government’s comms strategy was actually that bad. The reason why the government’s coronavirus messaging was so confusing is the government couldn’t decide what its coronavirus policy *was*.

    Until last week the answer to the question “does the government want us to hunker down until a medical breakthrough or learn to live with the virus?” was “Yes!”

    Does matter how good a comms team is you can’t make a silk purse …

  26. She needs her teeth seeing to. Too many of them. And Boris needs to man the fuck up, grow a pair and start taking decisions that will piss people off.

  27. Given we exit transition before Biden is inaugurated and a final decision on deal/no deal before electoral college then letting EU know you are ready to start sucking up to him know isn’t the best idea.
    The media are ignoring the legal challenges like a silky child having a strop, despite the fact that some of the recounts are mandated by law and estimates are that 25,000 votes split across key states could swing the entire thing

  28. In order to make an informed choice I’ve reviewed images of Carrie Symonds, and can report that she’s screwable when she makes an effort. And certainly a feather in the cap for a man of Johnson’s age and appearance.

    Mind you, I’d do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, but it would be a hate-fuck you understand.

  29. Any chap that’s had direct experience of a “new mum” with a “new baby” will tell you that any attempts at nookie will be rebuffed without fear or favour.
    I bet Johnson’s currently playing an away game.

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