Selected University trans policy extracts
University of Leeds:
“Think of people as being the gender that they self-identify as.”
“A person should be addressed and referred to using the pronouns which make them feel comfortable. This could be he, she, they, per, hir or other pronouns. If you are uncertain, either listen to what pronoun others are using or politely ask what they prefer, for example “Hi, I’m xxx and I use the pronouns he and him. What about you?” Encourage others to use these pronouns too and if the wrong pronoun is used, apologise quickly and move on.”
To ask that I address Gary as she is fine. I may and may not, depends upon how polite I wish to be to Gary at that time and place. But the request is that I use certain pronouns, not that Gary does.
When Gary uses a pronoun to refer to the self the ones used are I and me. Just like everyone else. Therefore the “I use pronouns she and her” is not correct. That is the request that others use said pronouns, not that Gary uses them.
And yes, requests of others do indeed come with the possibility that those others say “Bugger off mate”. Whether that be asking them to buy you a pint, fondle your genitals or use a specific mode of address.