Where does the line come from?

What struck me during our conversation was just how much the pandemic has pushed so many of us to rethink the ways we define our lives. Jo has been out and vocal about their bisexual and nonbinary identities for some time now, but non-monogamy was something they could only really consider when they were forced inside with their thoughts — and a husband who gently asked whether they wanted to explore other options for romantic and sexual fulfillment.

There is a temptation in queer spaces, I think, to define so much about our identities on a granular level. But Jo has found a liberation not just from practicing non-monogamy but also from practicing it in a way that feels true to who they and their husband are as people. “The way that I’m going about non-monogamy has nothing to do with how people think non-monogamy should be done. The way that I’m doing it is what feels right to me, and what feels right to my partner and everyone else involved,” they told me.

Is it Judy Dench in a Bond or something? “In my day we just called it shagging around”?

12 thoughts on “Where does the line come from?”

  1. Bloke in North Dorset

    I knew a couple who’d went through a phase of having an open marriage, as it was called at the time (’80s). They said that all it did was breed mistrust and jealousy. They eventually packed it in, retook their wedding vows and became quite religious.

    My guess is that it rarely ends as well as their experiment did.

  2. Where does the line come from?

    Laurie Penny’s editor.

    Having been polyamorous for almost a decade, I spend a good deal of time explaining what it all means. When I told my editor that I wanted to write about polyamory, she adjusted her monocle, puffed on her pipe and said, “In my day, young lady, we just called it shagging around.” So I consider it my duty to her and the rest of the unenlightened to explain what’s different about how the kids are doing it these days.

  3. Jo has been out and vocal about their bisexual and nonbinary identities for some time now, but non-monogamy was something they could only really consider when they were forced inside with their thoughts

    Grammar question for you on these plural gender identities

    Jo has been out and vocal about their

    or

    Jo have been out and vocal about their

  4. @Bravefart – I find it best to stick with those time-honoured pronouns assigned on the basis of biological sex, thus avoiding confusion. For those who are touchy about their invented pronouns, I am happy to help them out by not writing about them or addressing them.

  5. @ BraveFart
    It was explained to me that “they” is a translation of the French non-gendered “on” which is the most appropriate pronoun and “on” is usually singular so “they has” is possible. IMHO, translating “on” as “one” would have been much less confusing but it’s too late now as “they” is deemed to be correct and six feet above contradiction by pendants.

  6. In English as it was only a couple of generations ago, “she” was a feminine pronoun and “he”acted as both a masculine pronoun and as a neuter pronoun for people (as opposed to “it” which was the neuter pronoun for things).

    It seems so unfair that men didn’t get a pronoun all of their own but nobody seemed to complain about it.

  7. Reading the extract alone is a minor ordeal. The idea that any such confused/confusing malarkey came from a filum (sic) script is daft. Can anyone imagine ANY actor even today trying to expound such badly constructed shite as dialogue? Rudolf Steiner would shrink before the task. As Ed Wood would also.

  8. the pandemic has pushed so many of us to rethink the ways we define our lives.

    Well, maybe.

    Jo has been out and vocal about their bisexual and nonbinary identities for some time now, but non-monogamy was something they could only really consider when they were forced inside with their thoughts

    Yes, so many of us. So, so many. Lol.

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