What struck me during our conversation was just how much the pandemic has pushed so many of us to rethink the ways we define our lives. Jo has been out and vocal about their bisexual and nonbinary identities for some time now, but non-monogamy was something they could only really consider when they were forced inside with their thoughts — and a husband who gently asked whether they wanted to explore other options for romantic and sexual fulfillment.
There is a temptation in queer spaces, I think, to define so much about our identities on a granular level. But Jo has found a liberation not just from practicing non-monogamy but also from practicing it in a way that feels true to who they and their husband are as people. “The way that I’m going about non-monogamy has nothing to do with how people think non-monogamy should be done. The way that I’m doing it is what feels right to me, and what feels right to my partner and everyone else involved,” they told me.
Is it Judy Dench in a Bond or something? “In my day we just called it shagging around”?