That’s one old joke dead then

Not that I can recall what it was, but the one about if Microsoft made cars we’d all have to restart them all the time……

Microsoft has entered into a long-term strategic relationship with GM and Cruise to accelerate the commercialization of self-driving vehicles.

15 thoughts on “That’s one old joke dead then”

  1. Almost forgot,
    MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
    WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

  2. Arthur,

    A friend who once worked for IBM , said that within the company, it stood for I’ve Been Moved.

  3. Dennis, Odin's Tax Collector

    Not that I can recall what it was, but the one about if Microsoft made cars we’d all have to restart them all the time……

    Don’t worry. If GM is involved they won’t run at all.

  4. I did like a description of Win95:

    A 32 bit extension to a 16 bit shell for an 8 bit operating system written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.

  5. This has been lurking on my hard drive since 2001 (and it wasn’t new then):

    Bill Gates Comparing the Computer Industry to the Car Industry

    Amd the Reply from General Motors

    At a recent Computer exhibition, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry to the car industry and stated “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we’d all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

    In response, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we’d all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the road for no reason. You would then have to pull over to the side of the road, close all the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windowws before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought “CarNT”, but then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but it would only run on 5% of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “general protection fault” warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

    9. The airbag would ask “are you sure?” before deploying.

    10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally (now a GM subsidiary) road maps, even though they would neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to drop by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Department of Justice.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    13. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

  6. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

    This is the case on a lot of cars now, though they’re smart enough to write “stop” on there too.

  7. Windows 10
    We’ve tried 9 times already, and we still can’t make the f*cking thing work!

    When did Microsoft gain exemption from the Sale of Goods Act ?

  8. Error 1.52.141

    Vehicle transmission is not compatible with current operating system. Please download latest driver with Microsoft Edge.

    Error 1.52.142

    Ignition key not recognized. Searching for available devices…

    Error 1.52.143

    Scanning application “GPS.exe” for viruses before launch. Progress: 99%

    *5 hours later*

    Error 1.52.143

    Scanning application “GPS.exe” for viruses before launch. Progress: 99%

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