Competition Time!

Unesco carries a list of “Intangible Cultural Heritage“.

England appears to have no entries. Tsk.

So, our task is to compile a list of entries to be submitted. Antonie, over in NZ and the source of this information, suggests Morris Dancing.

I’m not even sure the UK has ratified it. But if it has, what would we suggest should be added as specifically English intangible cultural heritage?

I vote for “Empire”.

And you?

56 thoughts on “Competition Time!”

  1. Afew years ago I would have said stiff upper lip, nowadays maybe the ability to whine about literally anything at all, no matter how small and insignificant.

  2. Playing sport for fun.

    Boarding schools.

    Sarcasm.

    (For New Zealand, I volunteer litotes. Other countries don’t understand that “pretty ordinary” is NuZild for utterly shit.)

  3. Boy scouts and seaside postcards. Cream teas. Jumpers for goalposts, rush goalie. Fish and chips. Christmas pudding. Best bitter.

  4. Drinking beer standing at the bar whilst talking with the other customers, who may or may not be known to you.

    All the more important to keep it on the list as it is banned, and I suspect will face pressure to keep it banned. And it’s endangered by the sort of hipster wankers who just see a pub as somewhere to sit isolated in their group, ordering drinks on their ‘phones.

  5. Chester – Litotes… λῑτότης – is a bit too Greek to do the trick. Maybe Down Understatement would do (or does that reference the people up the road on the left?)

  6. ‘White privilege.’

    Thank you DocBud. I’ll second your motion.

    As for tangible cultural heritage, statues of slave owners and colonialists should obviously be at the head of the list.

  7. “Fuck off.” Not an instruction to anyone here. Dennis Healey said that the expression and association football were our only lasting contributions to the world. Being Labour, he was wrong, of course, but there’s a point lurking. From the Middle Ages to Charles de Gaulle (it’s in his diary) we were known as “les Godons” – the Goddamns.

  8. Chaucer, Bunyan, Shakespeare, Milton, Defoe, Austin, Brontes, Dickens, Elliot, Trollope, Kipling, Orwell, Powell, Waugh, Byron, Tennyson, Shelly, Keats, Wordsworth, Newton, Cavendish, Watt, Davy, Faraday, Joule, Clerk Maxwell, Darwin, Kelvin, Jenner, Lister, Fleming, Townshend, Darby, Telford, Arkwright, Wilkinson, Stephenson, Newcomen, Harrison, etc., etc., etc.

  9. We didn’t invent a lot of sports such as football.
    What we did is we Codified almost every random sport with common sense rules, a sense of fair play, & equal access.
    So whether it is common law, horse polo, football or democracy the advance of civilisation is utterly dependent on the British.

    We could also commemorate the chap who codified the British practice of celebrating those who practice suttee by hanging them.

  10. Being mocked.

    Lady Wyndham (Ursula Jeans): It’s easy for you to mock us. We’re used to that. Half the world mocks us – and half the world is only civilised because we have made it so.
    “North West Frontier” (1959)

    Much of that half is no longer quite as civilised as it once was, for some unaccountable reason.

  11. ASNNRQ: I’m not a historian but even I can see that (at least) six-and-a-half people on your list weren’t English.

  12. @Rowdy
    “Creating the modern world and inventing a lot of countries, including Australia (sorry).

    It is said that Great Britain created Belgium, solely to p*ss-off the French. A fine achievement 🙂

  13. Shove ha’penny.

    Someone above mentioned bagpipes.

    thankfully this abomination cannot be laid at the feet of the Jockoes as they existed across Europe and Middle East/Indian subcontinent in ancient times.

  14. I thought Belgium was created so everyone else’s in Europe had somewhere else to go and fight their wars instead of ruining their own countryside

  15. The most obvious candidate given the type of people in charge of things like UNESCO etc would be the sainted NHS………..

  16. thankfully this abomination cannot be laid at the feet of the Jockoes as they existed across Europe and Middle East/Indian subcontinent in ancient times.

    I’ve seen both Swiss and French traditional bagpipes in action. They’re better than the Scots by virtue of being not so ear-shatteringly loud, but otherwise pretty much the same.

    We were being regaled by a set in Switzerland once, when my wife recognised the ever so traditional Swiss bagpipe tune of the Theme to Flashdance.

  17. So Much For Subtlety

    Britain doesn’t need to do this. Britain has created or achieved everything of any importance in the modern world. UNESCO is for the losers who feel bad so get some sort of certificate for whatever basket weaving they have traditionally done to make up for the fact they have not cured cancer, invented the steam engine – and in fact are barely out of the Stone Age.

    Like the French.

  18. ‘including Australia (sorry).’

    Thanks Rowdy. But I can’t figure out whether you’re apologising to we Aussies, the abos in particular, or the entire universe. I’d bet on number three.

  19. When did we cure cancer SMFS? Cos there are a lot of people who need to know about that real quick.

    And Fish & Chips and those old fashioned Milk Carton vending machines you don’t see any more. And Kunzle Cakes –which also now belong to the vanished past.

    If there should be a Heaven then tea and Kunzle Cakes will be widely on free (as opposed to “on sale” as presumably Heaven doesn’t need a money economy).

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