Squaddies are not, in fact, all that bright

A soldier has admitted fraud after taking his older brother’s DNA paternity test so that he could avoid paying child maintenance, Leicester Crown Court hears.

Army private Samuel Robinson, and his elder brother, Christian Robinson, admitted jointly committing fraud by false representation at court earlier this week.

Christian Robinson, 26, had persuaded his younger brother, now 20, to take his DNA paternity test for him so that he could avoid paying his child maintenance fees after the child’s mother made an application naming him as the father.

The ruse backfired when the DNA results came back to show that the man who took the test was not the father but was closely related to the baby.

6 thoughts on “Squaddies are not, in fact, all that bright”

  1. Fraud by False Representation? Is he going to get the max 10 year sentence as promised by Matt Cuntcock to all those who fill out a form wrongly.

    Wouldn’t it be supreme irony if he was a Unit 77 scumbag whose soldierly duties for the Queen consisted of pro-regime lies on Twitter and telling Blojob Bogus Johnson that he is best UK PM EVAH!!!

    OT Tim but if memory serves 10 years ago we had an anti-census thread for best suggestions as to how to fuck/ignore the UK Census.

    Given that the Public Digital Identity shite -consultation on UKGOV ends 11th March after as little publicity as poss–is an attempt to revive Bliars ID card including–without any vax certificate rot –the implied promise that you wont be able to access “services” ie LIVE–without one. Put it together with vax passport–which Blojob is “thinking” about–then you have the start of CCP-style Social Credit tyranny for the UK\.

    In view of any decent sane person opposing the above then a thread on fucking up the Census seems even more of interest /value than 10 years ago. How about it please?

  2. “best suggestions as to how to fuck/ignore the UK Census.”

    As a historian I hate to mess with the census and kick my spriritual descendants in the nads. What I recommend is what people did 100 years ago and what I recommended 10 years ago. Fill in the forms by hand in a messy but legible scrawl. That means it won’t be able to be processed by OCR/computer and will have to be processed manually by a human being, eating into the profits of the outsourcerers.

    This year’s census for the first time has a question asking if your gender identity is different to your birth sex. Hurray! At last, we’ll get actual proper concrete figures on the size of the trans “community”. But then the ONS then go and shoot themselves in the head saying that you can fill in the “birth sex” question with your current gender. So guarrantteeing that the data collected will under-measure the trans community. “See lookee here, the census says there are zero people whose gender is different to their sex, everybody has put their birth sex the same as their gender.”

  3. 10 years ago mine was lost in the post. Apparently.

    I expect the Royal Fail will be similarly careless this year.

  4. A wise officer once said that a lot of squaddies got into financial trouble trying to bail out their dysfunctional families. Commendable loyalty, which is certainly what you might want from a soldier…

  5. I rembember the tale of an IT vendor who claimed his ruggedised laptop was squaddie proof, only to observe an ex and get shocked by seeing one of the lads using sample laptop to hammer in a tent peg.

  6. We are always being told by ‘experts’ that the armed forces should reflect the society they are drawn from

    This is what happens

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