If I were a Guardian columnist

That shooting in Boulder. I’ve been in that supermarket, that King Sooper. Which is enough for a column, right? How dreadful, could have been me, sympathy, empathy, bathos etc.

I’ve even written about having been in it. Somewhere, can’t find it right now. But I went from Moscow to Boulder and had jet lag, wandered around it at 4 in the morning. Even now – no, really – I can recall the wonder of the place. Acres of space devoted just to potato crisps. This was in, umm, 1991 I guess, when Soviet supermarkets were rather different.

So, there we have it, the perfect Guardian column. Free markets and capitalism might provide chips but they also lead to mass murder. No shoot ups in ration shops after all, are there? We have made the wrong choice as a society etc QED, bring back Beria.

Of course, I’d have to be careful. Wouldn’t want to go overboard and insist that Dachau reminds me of where I’d be under fascism…..

15 thoughts on “If I were a Guardian columnist”

  1. The one thing we can be sure of is that Biden won’t admit that Ahmad Al Aliwi Alissa’s shooting spree proves the case for Trump’s moslem ban.

  2. When I was at Stirling University in the 1980s Thomas Hamilton was the creepy guy that hung around the canteen during half term, and the weird bloke who tried to chat on the bus.

  3. Weird isn’t it, incel white guy shoots up massage parlours because he can’t get laid, and kills a mixture of mainly asian but also some white people, thats obvious evidence of how racist wipipo are. Muslim incel shoots up shopping mart, killing all whites, crickets.

  4. Obviously the Guardian would reject Tim’s idea. Race isn’t even mentioned!

    @Jim – the current explanation amongst the more deranged of Yankistan is that Syrians are white, so this was an act of white supremacist terror.

  5. The Other Bloke in Italy

    Someone, I forget where, published a pair of Twats from a SJW female in the US.

    The first assumed that the shooting had been carried out by a white, and went on about White Supremacy.

    The second Twat, after the shooter’s name was known, was to complain that to publicise the name would encourage Hate…

  6. “the current explanation amongst the more deranged of Yankistan is that Syrians are white, so this was an act of white supremacist terror.”

    What sort of white supremacists shoot other white people then?

  7. Ahmad Al Aliwi Al Issa: I’m mildly surprised he didn’t shoot himself, or commit suicide by cop. Presumably he’s a coward as well as a murderer.

  8. Even now – no, really – I can recall the wonder of the place. Acres of space devoted just to potato crisps.

    What ? Didn’t they sell Monster Munch ?

  9. Surely as with the Atlanta killings, regardless of any confession you can just ‘feel the hate’

    The media really doesn’t seem to get that people notice the differences in coverage between events

  10. Looks like the perpetrator integrated very well into American society, despite being an immigrant (moved to the US when 2 or 2 years old), as he indulged in the kind of murder spree that the USA is world famous for. Nothing in any of the reports I have yet seen suggest that race or religion have anything to do with the shooting.

  11. Maybe worth noting vis-a-vis the “hate” element, that this shop was advertised as “the one-stop Kosher shop”. So it is possible, all mental illness claims aside, that the specific shop was targeted for a reason.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *