One doughnut per person per year

That’s the gain to be had from shredding civil liberty:

Ban on online junk food ads will see equivalent of 62m fewer doughnuts eaten each year, say campaigners

One doughnut per person per year. That’s the gain for which we should give up on that civil liberty.

OK, OK, that’s extremist rhetoric for:

A total ban on online adverts for junk food would see children eat the equivalent of 62 million fewer doughnuts a year, researchers have said.

It’s just the kiddies that would eat less. At 700,000 births a year, wastage through disease is pretty low these days, call that 13 million under 18s then. So, that’s a reduction in consumption of less than one doughnut per child every two months then.

Hmm. No. They can fuck off then, can’t they?

15 thoughts on “One doughnut per person per year”

  1. Doughnuts are a serious business.

    There was a commotion in my local Morrisons a few weeks back (I don’t often go, for some basic things they have a very poor choice) when there were no jam doughnuts because the jam filling machine was broken. I spent the rest of my trip around the store wondering how it worked in factories…

    Name 6372901 molesworth n.
    Okupation Doughnut Jam filler

    With a man in dungarees, fag hanging out of mouth hitting the delicate equipment with a 3/8″ spanner because the injector had jammed again and the otherwise weedy moleswroth in possession of a huge right arm from pulling the lever to jab the doughnuts, a dozen at a time. They are then called on strike, because some new tick called peason is on the sugar sprinkler without a union card.

  2. @ Julia
    And something approaching 1 in 3 must nowadays be the proportion come from ethnic minority communities. Where entirely different cultural metrics apply to what’s considered “overweight”

  3. ONS statistics for population split are here https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationprojections/datasets/tablel21oldagestructurevariantukpopulationinagegroups

    There data for 0-19 year olds is 15.5 million so your 13 million ballpark isn’t too bad. Births in England and Wales does indeed fluctuate around 700k (https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/datasets/birthsummarytables ) Scotland has about 50k which explains some of the difference and migration probably explains the rest so well done on your estimating. (Now what shall I procrastinate on next…)

  4. ‘ Ban on online junk food ads will see equivalent of 62m fewer doughnuts eaten each year, say campaigners…’

    I spy excrement from a computer model.

    And banning on-line ads is not the same as stopping them. A lot of ‘clever’ people don’t understand what the Internet is and how it works.

  5. There seems to be an unsupported assertion that banning doughnut ads will automatically lead to a reduction in doughnut consumption. I don’t like doughnuts so I don’t eat them.

    I’m 5’10” tall and have a 32″ waist and weigh about 80 kilograms, sorry for the muddled up units, I think that’s about twelve stone. When I was nearer 90kg, and had a 38″ waist, the BMI calculator had me as borderline obese. This was clearly preposterous, true I was carrying a bit of condition but I was clearly not even fat as most people would understand it. The BMI can’t be applied to children until they have stopped growing in height, not that that stops the idiots at PHE from doing it.

  6. I though Chris Snowdon(pbuh) had pointed to reports saying the Gov’t had realised this was totally unworkable as well as being a Bad Thing? YEs, pointing to a report in The Sun. This is obviously the puritans trying a lsat-dotch effort to save their ghastly imposition.

  7. Memories of boyhood summers – swimming in the river and then home for a cream doughnut. I don’t suppose I’ve eaten a dozen doughnuts since those days. My taste for carbohydrates must have matured.

    Where was I? Ah yes, the puritans: kick ’em in the balls.

  8. Who advertises doughnuts? Krispy Kreme, I guess, but most people are buying bags of them from supermarkets in brown paper bags. There’s no advertising associated with doughnuts.

    If banning junk food ads worked, why are Aldi selling a whole lot of wine gums, liquorice allsorts and their rather excellent Moser Roth chocolate? Aldi is almost entirely own brand stuff. and people buy it.

  9. @Stonyground

    I’m 5’10” tall and have a 32″ waist and weigh about 80 kilograms, sorry for the muddled up units, I think that’s about twelve stone.

    BMI is bollocks. I posted on another thread about my own exercise regime, which is fairly rigorous. No-one would call me fat. I have a resting heart rate which varies from 49-52. I could get on my bike and do 100 miles now without even thinking about it. I regularly go up and down Pen y Fan (or did in the days BC) and its associated peaks in 3.5 hours. I’m over 6ft with a 34in waist, but weigh 17 stone, 107kg, so my BMI is 31/32, which puts me in the obese category (much to the amusement of my wife and kids).

    My ideal weight according to various calculators is 13.5 stones. I would literally be emaciated at that. I don’t have that to lose.

    Years ago, the then England and Lions rugby captain Martin Johnson was officially obese on the BMI scale, despite training like a lunatic and smashing people for eighty minutes plus, week in week out.

  10. “…after the NHS revealed one in three children leave school overweight.”

    Christopher Snowdon has showed that the “child obesity” lark is such a racket that a load of these ‘overweight’ kids suddenly become normal weight, overnight, on their 18th birthday. It is a statistical artefact.

    I mean, just walk around the town you live in. Are nearly half or two thirds of children “overweight or obese”? It’s fucking ludicrous.

  11. I don’t even like donuts, especially Krispy Kreme. If you were to give me one, I would only take it out of politeness. And it is simply untrue that it was me who ate most of the box of 12 Krispy Kreme donuts.

  12. Always remember that those the OURNHS classifies as ” Overweight”
    a) live longer than those of normal weight or grossly obese.
    b) are more likely to survive surgery or an encounter with OURNHS than those of normal weight or grossly obese.

    Its almost as if animals are supposed to have a bit of body fat to carry them through lean times but Nah!

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