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Seems a little ambitious

Visibility matters. I grew up in a period of viciously anti-LGBT+ media and Section 28, and it wasn’t until very many years later that I discovered that there were other people just like me. That lack of knowledge kept me miserable and in denial for far too long.

Visibility tells you that you’re not alone, that you’re not broken, that you should not be ashamed of or battle who you are. Visibility tells you that you deserve and should demand respect, love and joy.

We all desire respect love and joy. We all hope for it. We even hand the trio out at times. But when in buggery did anyone gain the right to demand it?

26 thoughts on “Seems a little ambitious”

  1. I grew up in a period of viciously anti-LGBT+ media and Section 28

    That is blatant lie. Section 28 was repealed in 2003. How many people had even heard of trannies 20-30 years ago, apart from a few drag queen acts on the telly?

  2. gay trans women tend to stay closeted in the workplace too.

    Nobody suspects a thing!

    That lack of knowledge kept me miserable and in denial for far too long.

    That’s a nice way to describe being a husband and father.

    you deserve and should demand respect, love and joy

    Christians know that we “deserve” nothing. Buddha observed that life is suffering. Respect, love and joy aren’t available on demand, and demanding them without earning them is as futile as abandoning your wife and kids to pursue the autogynephile fantasy and expecting to be happy.

  3. “…you deserve and should demand respect, love and joy.”

    Is he seriously suggesting that everyone else has an obligation to give respect etc?

  4. Now he is noising his preferences abroad with a megaphone does anybody think he sounds happier? Or is it that he just likes shoving his antics in other people’s faces so to speak.

  5. So he’s saying that I deserve and should demand respect, love and joy.

    From Bigmouth!!!!

    Um, er, ah, oh. I think I’ll give that a miss, thanks.

  6. Don’t know what it was like in the UK when this person should have grown up, but does “viciously anti-LGBT+ media” seem reasonable to those who have a clue?

    This seems more like someone who is perpetually unhappy and is going to be running round bothering the rest of us because of it.

  7. Visibility tells you that you’re not alone, that you’re not broken, that you should not be ashamed of or battle who you are.

    Interesting argument.
    Could also be applied to zoophiles, rapists, murderers and paedophiles…

    Shame is a vital social maintenance emotion. it helps prevent behaviour which is detrimental to the self and society.
    But hey, let’s ignore that because some bloke wants to wear a dress and be called a woman.

  8. “it wasn’t until very many years later that I discovered that there were other people just like me.” Liar. Or maybe just too self-absorbed to notice?

  9. gay trans women tend to stay closeted in the workplace too

    In my simple mind this means

    Heterosexual men with a fetish for wearing women’s clothes tend not to want to suffer ridicule by looking like a lipsticked pig in front of people who know them.

  10. @BiW: “How many people had even heard of trannies 20-30 years ago”

    I knew two socially in the early 70s, one an ex-boyfriend of an in-law and the other a fellow postgrad with an office five doors along from mine. And Jan Morris was very well known from the mid-60s onwards.

  11. Is he seriously suggesting that everyone else has an obligation to give respect etc?

    Yes, but only if you “deserve” respect by virtue of courageously being a fat guy in a dress, a BAME (not Priti Patel, the RIGHT kind of BAME), a Mohammedanist, etc.

    Obviously “bigots”, Brexshitters, TERFs, gammons and Xtians deserve nothing but contempt.

    Hope that helps.

  12. you should not be ashamed of or battle who you are

    Unless you’re a stubbly frock-wearing pervert who thinks women are bigots because they won’t suck your ladypenis. Then you should be deeply ashamed.

    Not sure that “feminism” is the appropriate place to file the narcissistic ramblings of a misogynistic degenerate.

  13. Dennis, Pointing Out The Obvious

    …it wasn’t until very many years later that I discovered that there were other people just like me. That lack of knowledge kept me miserable and in denial for far too long.

    Whereas the discovery of you and those people just like you now keeps us miserable…

  14. Dennis, A Vast Reservior of Toxic Masculinity

    Not sure that “feminism” is the appropriate place to file the narcissistic ramblings of a misogynistic degenerate.

    Carrie Marshall and “her” ilk are a natural outgrowth of Third Wave Feminism. Filing “her” bullshit under Feminism is dead-on accurate.

  15. The concept of a ‘gay trans woman’ is puzzling. Is this a bloke who wants to become a woman and then have lesbian relationships with other women? If so, why need the intermediate step and all the downsides that apparently entails? Surely he could find love, respect etc. the normal way.

    Conversely, is this a gay bloke who wants to become a woman and have relationships with hetero blokes? Why not stay gay and have gay relationships? Or are other gays not suitable for reasons?

  16. “How many people had even heard of trannies 20-30 years ago”

    “Blue Oister Bar”.. Every region has at least one, even in the most conservative and repressive societies, like small-town United States or Victorian Britain..

  17. “Conversely, is this a gay bloke who wants to become a woman and have relationships with hetero blokes?”
    Crikey! That’d have a future! About 5 minutes before they discovered the awful truth he got his teeth kicked in. Best keep the emphasis on the “wanting” with that one.

  18. BiS: Well, there’s no accounting for taste, either way round. But my implicit assumption was that ‘trans’ included all the necessary surgical modifications. However that still might not grow the pool of hetero possibles that much.

  19. “Blue Oister Bar”.. Every region has at least one, even in the most conservative and repressive societies, like small-town United States or Victorian Britain..

    I always thought those were catering to the gay s&m and leather scene. Learn something new every day!

  20. @bis: “Why wouldn’t you have sex with a transexual? Knows what men like, and can open her own jars.” (Jimmy Carr)

  21. Unless Carrie is over 50 then she’s talking out her arse.

    Not only have LGBT+ been *very* visible from Gen X on, we’ve been pretty goddamned accepting of them.

    It’s like these asshole exclaiming how great it is that *finally* they’re getting ‘asian representation in media’s because Marvel is doing a an Asian superhero movie – ignoring the incredibly popular Chinese and Japanese films in the West.

  22. Pips Bunce Credit Suisse director – look it up
    Peak madness
    Pig in pink frock
    Funny how these ‘men’ wanting to be girlies think expressing their feminine side means looking like a six foot Barbie freak
    I pity its poor long suffering wife and 2 kids

  23. @ – Swiss Toni – Jesus H Christ. Remind me not to trust CS with my money. I presume his wife is waiting for a really big bonus before she’s secure to divorce him.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6197705/City-workers-hit-gender-fluid-banker-works-days-Philip-Pippa.html

    As a female CS employee points out in the above article, if a woman went into work at CS dressed like a Barbie freak, she’d be called into the manager’s office for a word. Interestingly the 2+ year old DM article has lots of women criticising ‘Pips’ being on a FT list of leading women in business, I wonder how many would dare put their head above the parapet today?

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