How blindingly excellent!

Jersey fishing row: French threats ‘pretty close to act of war’

So we all get to hate Frenchmen again, as we would the very devil!

Or, since the sentiment hasn’t changed over the centuries, we get to do something about it. French cruise ships might want to avoid Aboukir Bay, Cape St Vincent’s just over the horizon for me so I’ll keep you in touch with any sightings of big bangs and flashes out there, when does the land war start and we take Bourdeaux?

21 thoughts on “How blindingly excellent!”

  1. Where are the “breach of international law” crowd? They seemed pretty fussed over a potential unilateral tweak of import regs but not so much invading another states waters. Odd

  2. I lived in SW France for a while. They still have memories of English incursions into Aquitaine. Apparently we used to sling the locals off the cliffs above the town of St Antonin Noble Val. Early version of dwarf throwing, I suppose. A well aimed Frenchman could be interred in the cemetery without the necessity of digging a grave.

  3. It’s about time we sank the french fleet again. It’s now over 80 years since the last time.

  4. The people of Hartlepool have been waiting over two hundred years for the chance to hang a real Frenchman.

  5. It’s a row over Jersey; we should start by retaking the rest of the Duchy of Normandy.

  6. If French trawlers blockade St. Helier, the navy should board half a dozen, arrest the crews, tow them to various beaches and scuttle them, thus creating tourist attractions for divers.

  7. Boris Johnson is a lucky general isn’t he? Morning of the local / mayoral elections and the bloody French kick off being dicks and give him the opportunity to send a gunboat or two. …and thereby also reinforce the ‘just as well we fucked off’ idea.

  8. “Cape St Vincent’s just over the horizon for me”

    Before I washed up in Thailand I was planing on retiring to “The bar at the end of the world” in Sagres. Is it still there?

  9. Dennis, Enjoying the Discomfort of Others

    When did the French develop this sudden urge to become Argentinians?

  10. Per the Daily Mail the French have said they will restage the battle of trafalgar – you know the naval battle that they lost….

  11. The Meissen Bison

    In the interests of calming things down, Britain should immediately withdraw from supporting French forces in Mali and declare that if EDF power is cut off to Jersey then EDF assets in the UK will be nationalised. Any compensation is to be calculated subsequently by a committee that includes Captain Potato¹ and paid with all damage to Jersey and any consequential loss to be offset against said compensation.

    ¹) The inclusion of the Fat Comptroller is to ensure the committee be as dysfunctional as possible.

  12. Didn’t the Simpsons call them “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”?

    Yup, I’m sure you guys are shaking in your trainers.

  13. Bloke in North Korea (Germany province)

    How would this have worked if we’d ended up sharing an aircraft carrier with France? Would harrier jets take off from the carrier and drop tea bags on the carrier until it surrendered?

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