Umm, yeeees

What It Feels Like for a Girl by Paris Lees review – ketamine-laced coming-of-age memoir

A girl, eh?

This ketamine-laced coming-of-age memoir, rife with nicked wigs and puppy love, fluctuates between the debauched and the humdrum; from gay bars to call centres, Debenhams to crown court, sex in toilet cubicles with “dirty old men” for a tenner to warming up treacle pudding and custard. The details of Lees’s formative years, when she lived life uncomfortably as a boy called Byron, is a rare portal into the British trans experience.

Oh.

Unless one is in council care in some northern town it’s really rather most unlike a girl’s experience, isn’t it?

17 thoughts on “Umm, yeeees”

  1. sex in toilet cubicles with “dirty old men”

    Love is Love.

    and while Lees has accomplished great things (she was Vogue’s first transgender columnist),

    Great things.

    She served a stint in a young offenders’ institution for robbery of a client, having emptied his bank account at gunpoint.

    How feminine.

  2. I saw the repair shop tv prog thing other day. 20 something guy came in with his teddy…..and his mum. They explained it had seen better days, cut to pics of blond mop headed 5 y.o with ted. He was an only and sensitive child and it would mean a great deal to him emotionally to have Ted fixed up. Repair guys, yep certainly could do with some TLC to bring him back up. And then the reveal. He (owner not the edward bear) used to be a girl, ah ok, (me as you do, do a quick re-evaluation – he’s no arnold swarznegger but stubble helped, tallish, passes, but some work on the voice and mannerisms would help further- he still came across as rather a wet blanket). That should have been it. We were left knowing there’s a complicated back story- I understand, you kind of need this stuff for viewers to give a shit about a 1980s teddy bear, but for some reason producers chose to divulge some more- in the form of I know i had a hard childhood and all that but fortunately mum and nan were both social workers. Jaisus! I cringe/rage quit at that point.

  3. What It Feels Like for a Girl recalls being in a nightclub where you can still smoke

    Yet on the opposite page, there’ll be an editorial explaining why we need to ban vaping. Gotta love the Guardian.

  4. @Steve – For ther values of “they”, they say Hell is other people. Which value of they is coerrect is left as an exercise for the student.

  5. @PJH
    My mum kept her childhood teddy until she was about 70, I found that she had also kept one from each of my siblings. Based on the description of the article, it just sounds like an emotional woman being egged on by another emotional woman.

  6. This ketamine-laced coming-of-age memoir, rife with nicked wigs and puppy love, fluctuates between the debauched and the humdrum; from gay bars to call centres…

    I can remember reading a review somewhere – might have been at Mark Steyns place – of ‘Sex and the City’ which said that the women’s degenerate and dysfunctional lives only made sense when you realised it was written by gay men…

  7. “when she lived life uncomfortably as a boy called Byron”

    Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

  8. TomJ – Hell is being severed from the grace of God by our own wicked choices, so I reckon there’s something in that.

    Because God hates the wicked.

    From a theological perspective, the Lord’s Prayer asks that God’s will be done on Earth. Therefore, any mother who encourages her only daughter to cut her breasts off and get pumped full of artificial hormones until she grows a skrizzy beard and turns into a sterile parody of a man who looks like a gay(er) Harry Potter deserves lions.

    Vote Steve for Grand Inquisitor, UltraPope and Malleus Maleficarum.

  9. “Vote Steve for Grand Inquisitor, UltraPope and Malleus Maleficarum.”

    Voting be damned. We’ll do it by acclamation. Any who complain……..Lions.

  10. “fluctuates between the debauched and the humdrum … sex in toilet cubicles with “dirty old men” for a tenner to warming up treacle pudding and custard”

    Assuming this is in the Guardian, I am not sure which of those they think is the debauched behaviour and which the humdrum?

  11. “warming up treacle pudding and custard”: that’s a sexual euphemism I hadn’t seen before.

  12. I’m guessing there isn’t a chapter on attending Taylor Swift concerts or passive-aggressively talking shit about her friend’s boobs being too small.

    Imagine a book called “What It Feels Like for a Guy” that just talks about monster trucks, prostitutes, getting the shit kicked out of you at a pub, and gutting large game in the woods.

  13. Hallowed Be,

    “And then the reveal. He (owner not the edward bear) used to be a girl, ah ok, (me as you do, do a quick re-evaluation – he’s no arnold swarznegger but stubble helped, tallish, passes, but some work on the voice and mannerisms would help further- he still came across as rather a wet blanket).”

    Other than sport, is there any other TV out there made for straight men? Or are most straight men just playing Call of Duty and looking at porn now?

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