Missing Alan Coren again

One of the founding fathers of the European Union was put on the path to sainthood by Pope Francis.

Robert Schuman, who called for a supranational community for coal and steel in 1950, was recognised by the Pope for his “heroic virtues”, the Vatican said.

Mr Schuman said cooperation on coal and steel, especially involving France and Germany, would make future wars impossible.

The Schuman Plan led to the European Economic Community in 1957, which evolved into the modern EU in 1993.

Climbing upon the butter mountain the Lord showed him the Promised Land of the technocratic state run by functionaires. He did then walk upon the wine lake before revealing, to the astonished worshipers of the Golden Market, all 1,252 pages of the duck egg regulations and said “There’s more of it where that came from!” and they turned from false idols and praise the Lord.

15 thoughts on “Missing Alan Coren again”

  1. A cliché because so often is it apposite, but I have to say again, you couldn’t make it up!

  2. Just when you think the Pope couldn’t do or say anything more stupid and irreligious, the bugger goes one better. Didn’t he even change the rules so that saints don’t need to be credited with miracles? But even so, why this dull functionary and bureaucrat rather than the vibrant George Floyd?

  3. “Beats tablets of stone”: are letters images? Because if so the tablets of stone violated the Commandment prohibiting graven images, and thus the Ten Commandments are self-refuting.

    I can’t help but suspect that I’m not the first to have thought of this. In fact I’m puzzled that I didn’t think of it at round about age 17.

  4. Civilised folk used to mock the Pope for being absurdly Roman Catholic. Now they mock the Pope for not being remotely Roman Catholic. Is this fair?

  5. Is the Pope Catholic has now become a question that is difficult to answer. At best, it is a discussion point. But at least we know what bears do in woods, or has that been debunked?

  6. Dunno when he pissed in your cornflakes. But still……one of his particularly fine pieces was of Moses and Aaron in the wilderness discussing those new laws and the Israelites worshiping the golden calf and all that. And so here’s roughly the same sort of subject and I can’t write half as well as he could so missing…..d’ye see?

    So, when did he piss in your cornflakes?

  7. Dear Mr Worstall

    Didn’t Herr Schuman nick the idea from that nice Herr Hitler. Doesn’t he get a look-in? Can you share a sainthood, like a Nobel prize?


  8. DP: Didn’t Napoleon the Naughty also have similar ideas. And the loathsome Louis’. And the dreadful Dagos like Phil.

    The noble Brits have always tried to keep the foul foreigners out.

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