That’ll do it!

The Home Office has ordered a major overhaul of the Border Force amid growing frustration over the failure to stem the flow of illegal Channel migrants.

The two directors general of Border Force and Immigration Enforcement are to quit their posts and will be replaced by a single supremo tasked with curbing the crossings and overhauling Britain’s “broken” asylum system.

Consultants are also said to have been recruited to investigate a merger of the two Home Office directorates as the Government seeks to regain the initiative after a doubling in illegal migrant crossings this year and the failure to deport any to “safe” third countries.

Let’s shuffle the bureaucracy!

Alternatively, we could get St Steve with his performing lions on the beach at Dover……

19 thoughts on “That’ll do it!”

  1. Consultants? How do you get to be a consultant on an issue like this? I would have thought there is no point in building up expertise in the area unless you already work in it.

    I smell cronyism. Possibly Dido could help out. Or someone’s lover.

  2. A friend of mine used to work for the Border Force. His comments about the senior management usually involved incapacity to arrange alcoholic jollies in the locations that manufacture beer.

  3. Incentives matter.
    Sink the ships.

    The current red carpet/4 star hotel treatment is having what incentive?
    The inability to get rid of anyone, once they’ve reached the beach, no matter how many people they’ve stabbed, means how many leave voluntarily? Incentives.

    All we get is endless criminal action against landlords & employers, for inadvertently dealing with illegals, while simultaneously prosecuting potential landlords/employers for asking questions about such illegal/legal status, which isn’t allowed, because it’s discriminatory.

    Anyone would think we were ruled by incompetent philandering buffoons whose primary concern is their wallet and their nookie. The latter put on the public tab, of course.
    Ah, that’d be it then.

  4. Unless their names are Pierre or Jean-Claude and they are latter-day-Huguenots escaping persecution by Macron, they cannot, by definition be asylum-seekers. Round them up, and send them back to France the same day – if necessary have a special carriage built to hook on to the Eurotunnel freight service.

    Claim asylum in the proper manner and we’ll take our fair share; get here by nefarious means and you disqualify yourself.

  5. Of course there’s a Dover Beach, it’s where ignorant armies go to clash by night. Look it up.

  6. That’s amazing, Tim. I actually had a flat in Dover for a year when I was organising my successful escape to France. Never heard of it. Although I can’t there’s much in Dover worth hearing about. Pretty well devoid of decent restaurants. The pubs are dire. The one place did a decent Full English shut & it was back to suspicious sausages & tinned tomatoes. There’s considerable incentives not to explore
    There are, briefly, dry bits at the bottom of the cliffs. And if you’re feeling particularly energetic there’s a stairway takes you about 300′ down. The energy’s needed to get back up it. But it’s not exactly somewhere you’d want to hang around. Even with lions. There was a large lump of cliff fell off one day. There was a photo I took, got used on the front page of the Telegraph. The last ferry going into Dover Harbour before they shut it. Taken lying down on the clifftop to avoid being blown to France. Wouldn’t have liked to have been on that one. The waves were breaking right over it. The one left after it was stuck off Deal for hours. I think it went back.

  7. If the UK Border Farce Illegal Immigrant Escort Service can enter French waters to pick up the invaders, why can’t they enter French waters to take them back? Someone at the top, making the policy, either hates this country or is taking kick-backs.

  8. Howls of outrage, yes, from the usual Guardian types. But they’ll never vote for Boris anyway.
    Roars of approval from everyone else. And their lions.

  9. The Guardian types infest the independent judiciary. No effective action against the invaders will be permitted, especially Patel’s foreign concentration camps.

  10. The disaster that is Brexit has certainly put freeloaders off, hasn’t it? Julia – you get my seal of approval.

  11. This idea of an asylum processing facility in Africa sounds brilliant. If it works, perhaps we could open dedicated centres in the capital city of every country, where non-Brits could apply in advance for permission to travel to the UK.

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